Hi OSUvet and K1329 - sorry your are also having sleep issues! Thanks for dropping in with a bit of commiseration, though!
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It's been a few weeks now since we've (pacifier) weaned, and here's our experience. She still wakes at night, but the intervals seem to be a bit better: she'll sleep for 3h, then 2h, then 2h, then 1h, and then up for the day or repeated waking every 15-30min - this has been more or less the pattern since we weaned from the pacifier. This is an improvement from the month of every 30-60 min wakings, but that just might be a coincidence. At the same time, we worked on taking her off the breast and then letting her go to sleep after than, without letting her fall asleep while nursing.Â
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Now she will sometimes detach herself from the breast after nursing and then go to sleep, but she will thrash around like crazy if we don't hold her tight to get her to go to sleep at that point. It definitely takes longer to get her to sleep most of the time - with nursing to sleep or using the pacifier, she would fall asleep pretty quickly and without screaming or crying. Now she pretty much always fusses some, and sometimes she will do this business of seeming to fall asleep and then screaming bloody murder 20 seconds later, and then after you've calmed her down repeating this about 20 times (often screaming and crying the whole time with her eyes closed). No idea what that is about.Â
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She doesn't seem to be in pain - she just seems to have trouble staying asleep, or putting herself to sleep consistently. She has on (very) rare occasions in the past fallen asleep totally on her own.Â
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She does have some teething signs (drooling after several months of not drooling) and chewing on everything in sight), but since she has been doing this for 3 weeks now, I'm not sure that it means anything. She is at the age, though when I would expect some teeth soon.Â
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I've read through almost all the sleep books at this point. (I refuse to read Weissbluth or Mindell since I'm offended by some of the excerpts I've read from their books, but I've gone through Pantly, Karp, Kurcinka, Sears, West, am halfway through Ferber, and have just received Reichert.) The Pantly methods helped with the getting to sleep, but had no effect on staying asleep. I'm not interested in CIO methods particularly, but I'm hoping some of those books (like the updated Ferber) might have some helpful diagnostic or other problem-solving techniques that could help.Â
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All of these books seem fundamentally the same in that they all basically have some method by which you do something to gradually wean your child off of sucking, or rocking, or whatever "crutches" they have of getting to sleep, with the idea that this is the only way for them to go back to sleep on their own when they wake in the middle of the night. They are all based on the premise that you can reduce something gradually without crying or without too much crying. But our experience with our daughter is that there is no gradual weaning from anything - if she wants to suck herself to sleep, then no amount of trying to get her off the pacifier or breast before she is asleep will work - she'll just start screaming bloody murder if we take it away before she decides to come off, and then there is no hope of calming her down again quickly (for example). So we just pulled her off way early, and then just quickly moved to totally unrelated ways of getting her to sleep. But we can't then reduce the rocking or singing or whatever even gradually, b/c if we stop before she is in a deep sleep (about 10 min after falling asleep), she will just wake and start screaming.Â
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The books all also say that you have to put your child to bed as soon as you see the sleep signs - but with our daughter, this just doesn't work - it will take an hour to get her to sleep if we do that. For her, she does sleepy signs for a bit, and then gets really cranky, and if you walk around with her for about half an hour after she hits the cranky stage (in a sling or carrier or just in your arms - but we have to move around a lot), then she might go to sleep with only about 5-10 minutes of rocking, sometimes less if we really hit it at the exact right moment.Â
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There is also repeated advice that we should move bedtimes earlier (like 6:30-7pm), but our daughter goes to bed at 9pm, and no amount of trying to get her down earlier will work without 1-1.5 hours of traumatic attempts to get her to sleep. She is very happy when she is awake, so I'm assuming that she is not actually sleep deprived, and that this idea that if they go to bed earlier they will sleep for longer stretches just doesn't apply in her case.Â
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I'll keep reading our books and trying things, and report back if we get any further improvements! (If anyone else has had any luck, please also let us know!)