How to cut down on the costs of a wedding? - Page 2

[lilyka]

If you want the full on wedding dress some options to consider is rental (lots if bigger cities have this available) and consignment.  Lets face it.  You are never going to wear it again and I doubt your daughter will wear it.....why buy if you don't have to.  And if you are lucky enough to have a consignment shop you may be able to sell it back and make some of your money back.  Also ebay...even savers and good will but you should plan a little money for alterations.

[Comtessa]

Some things we did to save money on our wedding:

• I wore my mother's wedding dress and only paid to have it cleaned and altered (I'm a bit bigger than my mom was...)
• I made my own veil
• We had the reception in the atrium of a classroom building at the university where I teach, and had the campus caterer handle the food & drink (it was superb)
• We ordered flowers in bulk from a local florist, bought some inexpensive ribbon and floral tape at a craft store, and made the bouquets and bouttonieres ourselves (this was especially nice because it meant we could make extra bouttonieres for all sorts of people we wanted to thank -- including the people who showed up the night before the wedding to help make the bouquets.)  :)
• We asked for the following as wedding gifts: wedding cake made by a friend; cake decorating by my MOH; table centerpieces made by my other MOH; music playlists loaded onto an iPod by my SIL and BIL; the loan (and setup and running) of a sound system from my cousins; formal photos by a friend (who happens to be a wedding photographer -- I guess we were lucky on that score); help with flowers (see above) from my aunt, who used to do flower arranging as a hobby; invitation design by my brother who is a graphic designer; a bunch of friends sang/played instruments at our ceremony; a friend emceed our reception; probably lots of other things I'm forgetting.  Think hard about the people you know and love and how you can beg their help as wedding gifts!  Most are happy to oblige and delighted to be a part of your day -- especially 'cause it gets them out of buying you a gift. :) 

ETA: Really, the best thing you can do is think about what you can skip.  There are millions of "must-have" lists out there for weddings... and most of them are absurdly padded by all of the invented "needs" created by the wedding industry.  Nobody needs monogrammed napkins.  For example.  Look at the list and just cross off whatever doesn't fit for you.  Don't be shy about it.  Nobody is going to refuse to come to your wedding because you didn't hire a band.  Or a limo.  Or pay a videographer to record your professionally-choreographed first dance.  Your wedding is special because it is your wedding.  The rest of the details are just that.  Don't stress about them.

[EmsMom]

Yes, yes, yes to this.  My wedding was pretty much the same.  And it was fun and everybody had a great time. 
 

Originally Posted by Comtessa 

Some things we did to save money on our wedding:

• I wore my mother's wedding dress and only paid to have it cleaned and altered (I'm a bit bigger than my mom was...)
• I made my own veil
• We had the reception in the atrium of a classroom building at the university where I teach, and had the campus caterer handle the food & drink (it was superb)
• We ordered flowers in bulk from a local florist, bought some inexpensive ribbon and floral tape at a craft store, and made the bouquets and bouttonieres ourselves (this was especially nice because it meant we could make extra bouttonieres for all sorts of people we wanted to thank -- including the people who showed up the night before the wedding to help make the bouquets.)  :)
• We asked for the following as wedding gifts: wedding cake made by a friend; cake decorating by my MOH; table centerpieces made by my other MOH; music playlists loaded onto an iPod by my SIL and BIL; the loan (and setup and running) of a sound system from my cousins; formal photos by a friend (who happens to be a wedding photographer -- I guess we were lucky on that score); help with flowers (see above) from my aunt, who used to do flower arranging as a hobby; invitation design by my brother who is a graphic designer; a bunch of friends sang/played instruments at our ceremony; a friend emceed our reception; probably lots of other things I'm forgetting.  Think hard about the people you know and love and how you can beg their help as wedding gifts!  Most are happy to oblige and delighted to be a part of your day -- especially 'cause it gets them out of buying you a gift. :) 

ETA: Really, the best thing you can do is think about what you can skip.  There are millions of "must-have" lists out there for weddings... and most of them are absurdly padded by all of the invented "needs" created by the wedding industry.  Nobody needs monogrammed napkins.  For example.  Look at the list and just cross off whatever doesn't fit for you.  Don't be shy about it.  Nobody is going to refuse to come to your wedding because you didn't hire a band.  Or a limo.  Or pay a videographer to record your professionally-choreographed first dance.  Your wedding is special because it is your wedding.  The rest of the details are just that.  Don't stress about them.

[JudiAU]

I think there are several tips to planning a gracious wedding where your friends are made to feel welcome and you and your fiance feel celebrated. Come up with a budget and stick to it. Write a guest list of the people you would like to include. And THEN decide how you can best host those people on a budget.

If your future DH can be comfortable using his chair on grass, than I would rent a pretty public park space with some shade. Rent enough chairs so that everyone can have a seat. Please don't ask guests to stand the whole time. Ask DH to choose something comfortable to wear and perhaps buy a special shirt or tie. A suit of any type would be nice but a dress shirt is fine. Find a pretty dress for yourself. Perhaps have a fancy hair do in the morning. Ask a friend to marry you and choose some poems or verses or other items that have meaning to you.

If DH can't be comfortable on grass then I would choose an open rental space where he will have maximum mobility.

Choose a morning celebration which fits your budget and an overall casual theme. Serve your guests a simple brunch after. You can come up with stylish and inexpensive ideas on sights like Martha Stewart. Have a few pretty containers for water, lemonade, or bunch. Serve some mini croissant sandwiches and a fruit platter. Have some cake after. If you have room in your budget, consider hiring a photographer or ask a friend. We really enjoyed having a video. If you have a garden, consider choosing living plants that can be replanted after the fact. Skip the waste of things like favors that will thrown in the trash etc. Maybe a friend can make some music.

You can easily have a lovely, gravious celebration with your budget iif you priortize your guest's comfort and keep it simple.

What I don't recommend is the not to pleasant results of having grand ideas and not enough money. I have been to some pretty terrible weddings over the years that were NOT gracious. A wedding isn't about the entertainment but whatever is provided should be graviously offerred. If you are getting married in a park dont wear a sequined fishtail gown and flip flops. Don't have ten groomspeople decked out in $300 dresses that no one could afford. Don't serve different food and drinks to different people. Don't dress in clothes that are inappropriate for the location and formality (tuxedos in the afternoon at the park, huge poofy dresses). Don't make people fight over a few chairs. Everyone wants to sit down. Milling about for four hours is not comfortable. Don't schedule it at a meal time and then not serve a full meal. Don't spend a lot of money on things you "must have" like a limo for some reason and then exclude family members who care about you.

[lilyka]

Originally Posted by JudiAU 

What I don't recommend is the not to pleasant results of having grand ideas and not enough money. I have been to some pretty terrible weddings over the years that were NOT gracious. A wedding isn't about the entertainment but whatever is provided should be graviously offerred. If you are getting married in a park dont wear a sequined fishtail gown and flip flops. Don't have ten groomspeople decked out in $300 dresses that no one could afford. Don't serve different food and drinks to different people. Don't dress in clothes that are inappropriate for the location and formality (tuxedos in the afternoon at the park, huge poofy dresses). Don't make people fight over a few chairs. Everyone wants to sit down. Milling about for four hours is not comfortable. Don't schedule it at a meal time and then not serve a full meal. Don't spend a lot of money on things you "must have" like a limo for some reason and then exclude family members who care about you.

I think this is the most important thing regardless of what your budget is.

[Caneel]

Originally Posted by JudiAU 

What I don't recommend is the not to pleasant results of having grand ideas and not enough money. I have been to some pretty terrible weddings over the years that were NOT gracious. A wedding isn't about the entertainment but whatever is provided should be graviously offerred. If you are getting married in a park dont wear a sequined fishtail gown and flip flops. Don't have ten groomspeople decked out in $300 dresses that no one could afford. Don't serve different food and drinks to different people. Don't dress in clothes that are inappropriate for the location and formality (tuxedos in the afternoon at the park, huge poofy dresses). Don't make people fight over a few chairs. Everyone wants to sit down. Milling about for four hours is not comfortable. Don't schedule it at a meal time and then not serve a full meal. Don't spend a lot of money on things you "must have" like a limo for some reason and then exclude family members who care about you.

I thought for sure I was the only one that attended a wedding where this happened!

Originally Posted by JudiAU 

Don't spend a lot of money on things you "must have" like a limo for some reason and then exclude family members who care about you.

I recently attended one of these.  Not nice.

[lilyka]

Just in an effort to build a better wedding....My pet peeve...when I was married my dh was in several weddings and would be forced to sit at the head table with the bridal party.  But I was not allowed to sit with my HUSBAND because I was not in the bridal party.  So I git stuck sitting alone, with the kids if they were with me have a terrible time, for hours.  For the love of pete either let the groomsmen sit with their family or let the groomsman's date sit at his table.  

[ilovemygirl]

Originally Posted by lilyka 

Just in an effort to build a better wedding....My pet peeve...when I was married my dh was in several weddings and would be forced to sit at the head table with the bridal party.  But I was not allowed to sit with my HUSBAND because I was not in the bridal party.  So I git stuck sitting alone, with the kids if they were with me have a terrible time, for hours.  For the love of pete either let the groomsmen sit with their family or let the groomsman's date sit at his table.  

I think this highlights how you can't make everyone happy. IMO, the wedding day is about the couple getting married and you are agreeing to be there for them and help them with anything they need when you agree to be a bridesmaid or a groomsman. It's essentially accepting an unpaid job. I eat dinner with my husband every single night .. I can certainly get by without him for four hours at a party. If you really feel like you can't then neither of you should agree to be an attendant in the wedding. 

[Rani]

Our wedding cost around 1500 dollars all told but was ahem about 18 years ago. We rented out a beautiful pavilion at a State Park in MD - I think it was around 100 dollars.  I borrowed my aunts wedding dress - it was knee length and simple. DH wore jeans and a nice shirt.  We went to a local meat place and got carry out bbq then my now BIL and SIL ran the grill.  Then everyone was invited and we had everyone stand (or sit) in a circle around us and the Justice of the Peace (make sure to go to the court house and get all the paperwork first).  So we ate picnic style and had a case of champagne but no other alcohol as everyone had to drive home.  Mom and MIL made simple decorations for the pavilion hearth and picnic tables....it was lovely...everyone was informal and you can have a lot of guest when the food is done this way...and it was lovely that day July, around 75 degrees..in MD that is something but it was up in the mountains....It was definitly handicap assessible as it was a State park so there you go.  The pictures were taken by folks there and were really nice...

Good luck!

[lilyka]

Originally Posted by Caneel 

We have been to a lot of weddings lately, people we know well enough to have been told all about the cost, cost-cutting, the budget, etc and I may ruffle feathers with this statement here goes - I continue to be baffled by couples that go all out with a huge puffy dress (full-price, bridal shop, drank the Kool-Aid and broke the bank), rented tuxes, 10 attendents, giant sprays of flowers and so on and then go super low budget everywhere else.  Now, it is their dime and they can spend their money however they like but had they taken everything down a couple notches, they would have saved so much money and had a nicer event.

I think this is worth noting.  If you are going to skimp somewhere skimp on the ceremony and then splurge on the reception.  No one is going to remember what kind of flowers were hanging around during your vows.  They will remember if you threw a fun reception.