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Can we have a complaining thread too? - Page 9

post #161 of 241
I know!! I don't have any other mommy-friends in my area besides my mother-in-law and her best friend.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azadehhast View Post

We've all been chatting for so long now, I feel like we could build some happy real-life relationships, and it's hard not to wish we all lived near one another to share hugs and meal-making and childcare and LOVE when everything is tough!

post #162 of 241
Thread Starter 

Thank you futuremamaheather, azadehast, and insidevoice!  Insidevoice--I am sorry about all the changes and stress for you.  What a great positive attitude you have though.  Isn't it nice to have great family support?  I am counting my blessings in that area too.  Thank you for all the ideas for making easier for my son.  The camera idea is really great.  He absolutely loves cameras so that might really help him.  It is so hard because he comes to visit and literally will cry 75% of the time just talking about wanting me to come home and wanting to stay with me in the hospital.  I actually think it is a good thing that he is able to slow down and process and cry a bit, because I know he is on the move doing fun and exciting things 24/7 when he isn't here, so I think he really does need some time to process everything.  It just completely rips my heart out though :(.  I think I'll get a calendar too.  I had thought of counting down the days til I come home, but since we don't know had forgotten about it, but actually you're right and I think crossing off days that I've been gone might help him some too.  It is hard because a lot of three year olds would be confused, but he has developmental delays too so I think he may understand less than a lot of three year olds.  By the way....do you remember what medications they had you on for the PROM and PTL?  I've been on the magnesium, something that starts with a t, and now procardia.  Thanks again for your support. 

post #163 of 241

Terbutaline?  We did that as well.  The side effects from the medications were hard for me to take, we discontinued as soon as we saw evidence of lung maturity beginning (obviously, not complete) but at that point I felt like the risk/benefit balance was tipping.  

 

In my case, once we did manage to stop the PTL, it didn't come back.  I was induced with him at about 37 weeks (though he was developmentally 35/36 weeks.) It's really hard making those decisions.

 

My three year old has some delays as well, so I understand that some things 'most' three year olds will grasp might not be part of his reality.  However, for my little guy, crossing days off and maybe getting a special treat each day would be a positive to help him get through the time. It has to be hard on you though to see him in tears and not be able to change the circumstances. 

post #164 of 241

APT~ sorry you're going through that! being separated from DS must be rough. I don't know if it would help, but do you guys have any little dolls, like Little People or something that he plays with? Maybe you could play with them with him and act out what is happening? My kids did stuff like that with their counselor after XH & I split, and DD was just 3 then.

post #165 of 241
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by insidevoice View Post

Terbutaline?  We did that as well.  The side effects from the medications were hard for me to take, we discontinued as soon as we saw evidence of lung maturity beginning (obviously, not complete) but at that point I felt like the risk/benefit balance was tipping.  

 

In my case, once we did manage to stop the PTL, it didn't come back.  I was induced with him at about 37 weeks (though he was developmentally 35/36 weeks.) It's really hard making those decisions.

 

My three year old has some delays as well, so I understand that some things 'most' three year olds will grasp might not be part of his reality.  However, for my little guy, crossing days off and maybe getting a special treat each day would be a positive to help him get through the time. It has to be hard on you though to see him in tears and not be able to change the circumstances. 

 

My thoughts exactly on the risk/benefit balance tipping.  I discussed with my doctor trying to wean off at 32 weeks.  If it works, great.  If not, I think 34 is my absolute cut off.  I've been thinking a ton about at what point the risks will start outweighing the benefits.  It was an easy decision at 29 weeks, but as time goes by, it is more difficult to decide.  We're definitely going to start crossing off days and do the treat thing. 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mummoth View Post

APT~ sorry you're going through that! being separated from DS must be rough. I don't know if it would help, but do you guys have any little dolls, like Little People or something that he plays with? Maybe you could play with them with him and act out what is happening? My kids did stuff like that with their counselor after XH & I split, and DD was just 3 then.


Fantastic idea!  We will definitely try this too.  I'm so glad I asked for suggestions...you all have given me some great ideas. 

 

post #166 of 241

                                                            grouphug.gif      goodvibes.gif      heartbeat.gif

I just want to send some hugs and positive energy to all who need them.

post #167 of 241
Thread Starter 

I wanted to thank you all for the ideas on helping DS deal with me being hospitalized.  He is really doing a lot better.  We got the camera to let him take pictures of his day to show me, started doing some role playing at home with toys (well DH is doing that), crossing days off the calendar, and every day he gets a small present when he visits that we play with in bed and then he takes home. A lot less tears which is great.  He still usually cries and talks about wanting me to come home so I end up snuggling with him and letting him cry and reassuring him I will be coming home.  That process has gone from being pretty much the entire visit to maybe 10 minutes which is nice because I don't feel so much like my heart is being ripped straight out of my chest anymore. 

 

So, I want to complain too.  We have nothing done for baby.  Baby's room is not done.  Baby does not have hardly any clothes (born in opposite season as DS and with him I had borrowed a ton which I had to give back).  My diapers need to be stripped.  Baby needs a crib (got rid of DS's because it was recalled).  Need to clean and install carseat.  Most of our baby stuff is stored in the basement and is going to require a lot of searching around to find it and then clean it, etc.  And obviously DH says the house is in total shambles since the focus is on keeping DS happy and busy.  I know babies don't need a lot, but they do need clothes and diapers and carseats and it would be so nice to have that stuff ready.  Our bed is also way to soft to cosleep without one of those top of the bed co-sleeper things that we had with DS but I think that was recalled too.  I just don't know how we are going to get it done before the birth, and afterwards I'm anticipating that I am going to really need to rest, not strip diapers and wash baby clothes.  ughhhhhhh

post #168 of 241

Oh APT *hugs*  I can't imagine. Do you have family/friends, or even a babysitter in the area that would be able to come over and help your DH go through some of it? Do you have a craigslist type place there that's active you could find several bags of bulk baby clothes for cheap, all in one place, and then that way DH would only have to wash them, but at least you get to have some say over buying them? 

 

I can only related from the other side of it-- my SIL had her first baby unexpected at 35 weeks- they had started painting both bedrooms in their house the day before, so the call we got was, "Yeah, in labor, can you go to the house and finish painting (about 6 coats!! it was red!) both rooms, and then after that can you go to toys r us and buy... and then we had a huge list of things to go pick up. It was hectic enough being on the other side of it, I can't imagine being the one in your shoes. 

 

Hopefully you guys can find someone to help out, even just a little bit. 

post #169 of 241

What state are you in? I'm wondering if any of us are nearby or have friends nearby that could help locate some help for dh or perhaps happen to have baby clothes they need to dispose of :)

post #170 of 241
Thread Starter 

Thank you jeninejessica and Czarena--Great ideas!  I am not one to ask for help or even one to accept it usually but I ended up ordering some clothes online and a friend will wash them for me.  I ordered diapers too and we'll just deal with the cloth once things settle down.  I still feel so unprepared but this should help a little. 

 

Onto more complaining....;).  I started contracting every four minutes yesterday morning again, even on the medication.  A different doctor was on call (very very nasty) who came in, asked me if I knew I was contracting that much and I told her no, I wasn't paying attention but I knew it was more.  So, she demanded that she do a manual exam, another FFN, and BV test.  I was sobbing my eyes out, totally unprepared, and didn't even think to ask her how long I had been contracting that frequently because I knew it had been more since the night before.  Anyhow, she ended up doing an incredibly painful pelvic exam to check dilation, didn't care at all that I was so upset, and was just a total B.  My own OB had told me he would not do any more cervical checks because I am way too much on the edge of labor to mess around.  I told her that and she didn't care.  Later I asked the nurse how long I had been contracting every four minutes and she said only an hour.  I am so mad that I didn't stand my ground.  If I had realized it had been only an hour I wouldn't have let her, but all I could think was that she was going to put me back on the really terrible IV drugs and my son wouldn't be able to come see me, so I was in a complete panic.  Then last night I went to the bathroom and was losing orange-ish chunks.  I am guessing it is part of the mucus plug but it doesn't really look the same as when I lost it with DS.  Ugh...I am waiting for my doctor to come see me but I am so so mad and sad I let her do that.  I am worried about infection.  Does anyone know if you're losing chunks like that if it means the mucus plug has been disrupted and you're more suseptible to infection?  Whatever happened, it was not good...she stirred things up one way or another.  I'm still cramping.  The nurse I have today is terrible too.  I asked her to leave my medication so I could eat it with food and she said something like "well, can I trust that you will actually take it and not throw it away?"  Yeah, lady.  I'm on my 17th day in the hospital, 7 of which were on IV drugs, I don't even get up to shower for more than five minutes every other day, but I'm going to be real tricky and throw out the medication that is helping me keep this baby inside.... She wanted to SEE me take my prenatal vitamins too.  Sorry for being such a ball of fun...

post #171 of 241

Oh ToddlerMama!!!  Hugs to you!!  That is horrible!  I HATE rude hospital staff that acts like they are Gods and you must do whatever they say.  About the mucus plug...I don't think it's a big deal weather you lose it or not (I THINK)...I think the big one is your water.  I've heard of women losing their mucus plug weeks before delivering and their doctor didn't care.  

 

Hang in there!!!  grouphug.gif

post #172 of 241
Quote:
Originally Posted by APToddlerMama View Post

Thank you jeninejessica and Czarena--Great ideas!  I am not one to ask for help or even one to accept it usually but I ended up ordering some clothes online and a friend will wash them for me.  I ordered diapers too and we'll just deal with the cloth once things settle down.  I still feel so unprepared but this should help a little. 

 

Onto more complaining....;).  I started contracting every four minutes yesterday morning again, even on the medication.  A different doctor was on call (very very nasty) who came in, asked me if I knew I was contracting that much and I told her no, I wasn't paying attention but I knew it was more.  So, she demanded that she do a manual exam, another FFN, and BV test.  I was sobbing my eyes out, totally unprepared, and didn't even think to ask her how long I had been contracting that frequently because I knew it had been more since the night before.  Anyhow, she ended up doing an incredibly painful pelvic exam to check dilation, didn't care at all that I was so upset, and was just a total B.  My own OB had told me he would not do any more cervical checks because I am way too much on the edge of labor to mess around.  I told her that and she didn't care.  Later I asked the nurse how long I had been contracting every four minutes and she said only an hour.  I am so mad that I didn't stand my ground.  If I had realized it had been only an hour I wouldn't have let her, but all I could think was that she was going to put me back on the really terrible IV drugs and my son wouldn't be able to come see me, so I was in a complete panic.  Then last night I went to the bathroom and was losing orange-ish chunks.  I am guessing it is part of the mucus plug but it doesn't really look the same as when I lost it with DS.  Ugh...I am waiting for my doctor to come see me but I am so so mad and sad I let her do that.  I am worried about infection.  Does anyone know if you're losing chunks like that if it means the mucus plug has been disrupted and you're more suseptible to infection?  Whatever happened, it was not good...she stirred things up one way or another.  I'm still cramping.  The nurse I have today is terrible too.  I asked her to leave my medication so I could eat it with food and she said something like "well, can I trust that you will actually take it and not throw it away?"  Yeah, lady.  I'm on my 17th day in the hospital, 7 of which were on IV drugs, I don't even get up to shower for more than five minutes every other day, but I'm going to be real tricky and throw out the medication that is helping me keep this baby inside.... She wanted to SEE me take my prenatal vitamins too.  Sorry for being such a ball of fun...



Oh gosh- what a terrible experience!  Please ask about talking to a patient advocate.  If nothing else, it will usually cause staff to think before trying to bulldoze you.  I'm so sorry.  

 

The mucus plug- it's pretty normal to lose chunks- particularly as you are contracting, but it doesn't necessarily mean anything.  My guess is the exam was enough to loosen things up more than you might have wanted, but hopefully things will settle back down for you soon. 

 

 

post #173 of 241

I *think* the mucus plug can go back too.

post #174 of 241

I am going to join here, I don´t know how I could overlook the thread :). 

 

I am still feeling really bad, with infections and UTIs since week 16, premature contractions (thankfully not doing anything to the cervix) and feeling really shitty, pain, feeling sick and weak. I probably should not even complain, since we have such a good health care system here, so that the insurance is sending someone to look after the kids because the doctors want we on bedrest (and I want myself on bed rest as well...) 

 

I am sooo impatient and bitchy, and cannot stand the kids jumping up and down on me, which they kind of try do constantly (which I totally get, they are missing their mommy) which makes me even feel worse. My DH is complaining about the amount of work he has to do and how hard everything is on him. He has ADD and is kind of refusing to do anything about it. (because it´s not him that has the problem, it´s me who has to big expectations - as in cleaning up after him or dressing like a human and not like an homeless person) - he is shouting at the kids, (who are upset and hyper at the moment, understandable) - but that is just my feelings, not reality (he says) 

I want to get up and do stuff. I want to clean this mess here! As soon as I am trying though, I overdo it, and have to lie down for a couple of days, because of the pain. ARrrrrgh. hopmad.gif

 

My two cents.

post #175 of 241
Thread Starter 

Thanks mamas!  I lost my mucus plug naturally with DS a week before he was born but that just felt different.  Like okay, my body is doing this, fine.  This time I just feel violated and angry about it, and worried that it somehow introduced infection.  I have to get over it though.  The good news is I'm just about to 32 weeks which is a big milestone apparently in preemie life.  They really never thought I'd make it this far and I didn't either so it is a good feeling.

 

Triinity--I'm sorry you are going through all that.  I can totally related to the kids jumping on you part and overwhelmed hubby with ADD.  Worrying that my son is going to hurt baby with all his crashing around wanting to snuggle stresses me out and I feel so bad I can't do what I normally can with him.  My husband is absolutely exhausted and overwhelmed which really magnifies his ADD too.  For instance, they came to visit me at the hospital and I had to remind him multiple times I needed underwear.  He got here and forgot to bring them up (5 minute walk from car).  He went down to car to get them and something else and I asked for them as he was leaving.  Then I called him again right before he got to the car to remind him.  He came back up WITHOUT them!  I know he is just tired and has a hard time pulling it together when he's stressed, but seriously!  Somehow he does it at work, but just can't seem to do it at home.  I hope things get better for you....just remember we don't have too long left!

post #176 of 241

APtoddlerMom, are you married to my husband? 

 

when I had surgery last year, visits with the kids where just unbearable for me, because he.would.not.control.them. They were jumping right over me, over my i.v. and REALLY hurt me, jumping onto the other (luckily empty) bed in the room...it was a nightmare. 

I know how it feels to not being able to care for your little one, I am so sorry for you. This too shall pass! I send you good vibes! 

post #177 of 241

My complaints are pretty benign compared to everyone else.  I am just physically uncomfortable.  I've developed carpal tunnel in both hands - so far it's just at the pins and needles stage but I know it will become more painful shortly.  I am itchy and my skin feels tight all over.  My belly feels bruised and sore.  My inner thigh muscles ache making moving around difficult.  I'm constipated.  I am tired but I am unable to sleep more then 2 hours in a row.  My 2 year old takes an hour to be put down for a 1 hour nap and is starting to fight going to bed at night as well.  Plus she is acting defiant which is new for her and laughs when I get angry.  I just realized that we are out of milk so I will have to either get up right now and go to the store or drag my daughter with me in the AM.  I am sick of every single person I walk by saying "it must be any day now".  okay. I'm done complaining for now.

post #178 of 241

Oh APToddlerMama- what an aweful experience you had...how great that you are almost to 32 weeks now though! Yay! I started losing HUGE chunks of my mucus plug around 28 weeks with DS2 and he was fine and he was born around 37 weeks :-)

 

 

post #179 of 241

My new, very inconsequential complaint: I can't ride my bicycle anymore. My hips are so wide that my bum all but swallows the seat, and my thighs bash against the belly when pedaling. It's just not happening anymore. Which means I have to walk everywhere, which means everything takes so much longer. Sigh.

post #180 of 241
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azadehhast View Post

My new, very inconsequential complaint: I can't ride my bicycle anymore. My hips are so wide that my bum all but swallows the seat, and my thighs bash against the belly when pedaling. It's just not happening anymore. Which means I have to walk everywhere, which means everything takes so much longer. Sigh.



I just came to this conclusion yesterday.  I can still ride (though it is a bit uncomfortable), but the dismount is a wobbly, ridiculous affair.  I fell getting off my bike yesterday and banged myself up a bit.  I was in the garage, fell on top of a propane tank, tried to stop the fall only to put my hand through a pane of window glass.  Ridiculous.  Small cuts and a bruise, nothing major.  My pride hurts though and I am going to miss riding my bike.  

 

I dislike this part of pregnancy...the inability to do the things I like to do.  I miss running and gardening and my energy.  It comes back, I know it does.   We will be biking again next spring.  Just a little patience.  

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