Am I doing the right thing?

[momof3tobe]

Please give me your opinion on whether you think I'm doing the right thing here, and suggestions on alternatives if you think it's necessary. So here goes: my oldest ds (6) is an extremely picky eater. He has had oral motor issues since birth and regularly choked on food. He had feeding therapy for a few years and that helped a little but he still has a very limited diet. I have chosen to not make a big deal out of it. It felt like we were spending so much time trying to get him to eat new foods that it consumed everything so I decided enough was enough. He will drink smoothies so I make very elaborate ones everyday with several types of fruit, yogurt, protein powder and frozen broccoli (if it's frozen you can't taste it all) and then other than that he will eat peanut butter sandwiches and granola bars- and that's about it. He has pb sandwiches for dinner every night. I also give him a presciption multi- vitamin/mineral created specifically for him by a nutritionist. My feeling is to just let it go and when he starts 1st grade in sept. and sees what all the other kids are eating he will want to try new stuff but if that doesn't happen I don't have any ideas. My gut is telling me to ride this out and eventually he will start to get more adventurous but I what do you think? He is not malnourished- he is very big for his age- looks more like an 8 or 9 year old so his diet hasn't affected him physically, yet. Should I do something?

[Wild Lupine]

I can imagine myself writing this post in a few years. My DS is 3 and also has oral motor feeding issues. Did you ever find a cause for these issues? When he was in feeding therapy did anyone ever give you an idea what the long term progression of his issues would be?

I know my son appears 'picky' to many people, but really, he has no choice over what he can and cannot eat, it's all about his ability. Expanding food repertoire is all about improving his skills, for our son anyway. Once he CAN eat something, then he does. 

Nutritionally it sounds like your son is doing well, but you might want to look into more feeding therapy for him so that he can eat more food for other reasons, variety, enjoyment, socialization. And when he hits a growth spurt he may need more nutrition than his current diet is allowing, so he may need to be able to eat more in a few years; feeding issues can be slow to resolve, so starting now can insure that he is ready when he needs more calories a day. 

But I think you're definitely doing the right thing about not making a big deal about what he eats during a meal; so many power struggles are around food, and when you add physical ability into the mix it can make for a very unpleasant dynamic and poor meal associations. Keeping meals light, friendly, and enjoyable are definitely the way to go.

[minkin03]

I wouldn't push it. Sounds like he's not doing too bad really, especially if he'll drink the smoothies with fruits and veggies hidden in them. I have a picky 5 yo. She didn't start eating solids til around 18 mos. and even then it was limited (strong gag reflex and problems with texture). With her I've always continued to put the new food on her plate (small amount). If it was something she's never tried all I've ever asked is that she try a bit before she decides. I refer to the Green Eggs and Ham Book at this time "try it try it and you may, try it and you may i say" lol. Sometimes it works and she'll try it, and sometimes she won't. She's getting better. 

[momof3tobe]

Thank you for your reply. The funny thing was, when he was in therapy, he would eat whatever I brought in without any problems. The therapist and I went through several foods from each food group and ds ate all of them- but only when we were with the therapist. When we got home if I tried to give him the same exact food he would gag on it and sometimes even vomit. So at this point I know he is physically able to eat most foods- there just something going on with him mentally ( I think ) that is holding him back. He was diagnosed with hypotonia at birth because he couldn't nurse but he got OT and when the feeding therapist evaluated him when he was 3, she didn't see any weaknesses.

My husband thinks that since we know he can eat the food we should just give him the "here's your dinner- either eat it or go hungry" but I think long-term that will cause more problems than just waiting for him to be ready. But who knows- maybe I'm wrong?

[Mummoth]

My daughter wasn't diagnosed with anything, but she didn't really start eating until she was over 1 year old. I can remember being a picky eater, and being forced to eat foods that made me gag, so I haven't done that with her. She will say things like she doesn't like the strings in meat, or the sand in 'smooth' foods, or that beans are squeaky (ugh! I still hate that!) and bananas are slimy. Texture is clearly part of it... meat is more palatable to her cut into small pieces, across the grain. Mashed potatoes are better with a bit more sour cream than I'd use otherwise. Beans don't make it to the table often, because I'm not over it yet! Bananas are better frozen, etc.

Rather than 'eat or starve' or 'eat what you will' I tell DD that she needs to have a small bite of what everyone else is eating. I tell her that her tongue is still growing, and someday when she's big enough, she will like most foods. So she tastes things to see if her tongue grew yet, then if she doesn't like it, she can have a peanut butter sandwich or an apple. I try and make sure we're all eating at least one thing that she likes (on most days, anyway) and this rule only applies at home (sometimes things she puts in her mouth are so repulsive to her that she won't/can't swallow, so she spits it in the garbage, and we don't need that in public!)

I don't think there's anything wrong with the wait and see approach either, for the record... this is just how I've gone about getting her to try more foods.

[SimpleLove]

I think you're on the right track, and he is probably eating/consuming healthier than many of his peers! For now, the only issue I would see is a social one (cafeteria, playdates, etc) but even the 'normal' kids will have their quirks/refusals.