Indecisiveness on whether to start Pre-K at 3 1/2 or 4 1/2 - Help!

[SilverMoon010]

I'm back!  I posted a while ago on the same subject, just different logic.  I am so indecisive on this issue.  I want to make sure I make the right decision.  I have a pros and cons list of starting my DS this Sept when he will be 3 1/2 vs. next year when he will be 4 1/2.  I'm hoping you guys could give me some guidance/experience on this issue.  Did anyone start their child at 3 1/2 and wish they waited, or vice versa?

Here are my pros and cons of enrolling him this year vs. waiting until next year:

Pros:

1.  It will be great learning for him.

2.  He loves other kids.

3.  I think he's ready for it.

4.  I feel maybe it will help to keep him from getting bored at home.  My DS needs a lot of activity and sometimes I just can't keep up!

5.  If we enroll him this year, he'll most likely have no issues getting into the 4-year-old program next year as that program gets booked pretty quick.  (If a class is full, they take those who are already enrolled previous years over those who were not.

Cons:

1.  He's never been away from me more than an hour or so, let alone 3 hours. Is he ready for that?  (He's a member at the Little Gym where they are independent from their parents.  It's an hour class but the parents are on the other side of a glass wall, so the kids can see us all so it's not totally independent.)  If we don't enroll this year, I have time to find ways to ensure he is more independent for next year so he is used to it.

2.  I'm due to have a baby in Feb.  I can see that being a bit stressful for DS.  Plus, I will have to take him to school and drop him off with the baby in arms only a few days old, dragging him/her out in the cold and I can foresee my DS putting up a fight (he may not though, who knows!)  I think it may be better to wait until we are all settled in, and next Sept seems better for that. (Maybe this isn't a big deal though.  I tend to overthink things a lot. It could possibly be a piece of cake!)

3.  He's very active (and stubborn) and doesn't always like to be told what to do.  I'm afraid he'll get kicked out of Preschool!

4. It's private school, so it's a bit pricey.  (I figure he doesn't have to go this year and can be home with me.  This way, we have one more year to try and save.)

Any ideas? I'm so confused!

[andromedajulie]

Many people will disagree with this, but I am very pro 2 years of preschool. The reason is because of what I have seen expected of them as they move through the school system. DD1 is going into fourth grade, and the demands on kids are much more intense, early on, than when we were kids. (Well, I'm 41.) I was shocked by the demands of kindergarten. It was full-day, but I was glad, because that meant that there was less pressure academically and more time for them to learn to adapt to the school world - which, unless you homeschool, they will have to do. The same amount of academics must be learned in K regardless of the day length - so a full day leaves more down time, recess, art, music, adjustment. Then, in first grade, I was shocked that the academics were so intense. They were so little!! And many of them had only had half day kindergarten, so those kids were struggling not only with the academic expectations but also with the adjustment to the full day. We changed schools (and states) in there, so I know it wasn't just one particular school. Anyway, I ended up glad that she'd had 2 years of preschool, the first just a little, to get used to being away & to experience the first socializations, the second year more - with learning and more socialization, so that she had more time to adapt, which I think gave her a leg up in future.

This might be overanalyzing and obviously it depends so much on your kid, since the issues will be different. For my DD1, adjustment has always been an issue, and since they unfortunately have to spend so much of their early life stuck in a desk, I was glad she could do it little by little instead of a huge shock all at once. 

(Now, DD2 is a whole different person and I see her as having a much harder time being trapped inside... so we'll see in a couple years how that pans out!)

[andromedajulie]

another thought is, I wonder if it would give him a special place that's fun to be, where his place is secure. my baby just turned a year old and it was very hard for my older one (who is very needy) to accept the amount of attention that was now diverted away from her. even though I had to make special dates for us to be alone together, I also needed to find situations where she could be in her own tribe, and not just sit around feeling like she'd been replaced.

Ultimately, though, it needs to feel right to you!

[SilverMoon010]

Very good thoughts! It's such a hard decision.  We're going to an orientation this coming Monday for the 3-year-old program so I guess I can talk to the teachers more about it and see if I think he is ready.  We already went to the Open House a few months ago and we know we like the school. It's just a matter of when.  I'll have to find out what happens if he absolutely hates it.