I had no idea

[CrazyCatLady]

I have a 6 day old baby who is in the NICU right now.  She spent a day or so there after her birth.  Then she was released to come home and we had a couple of great days with her.  I had even managed to mostly salvage our breastfeeding relationship, and was getting her to latch, and had a good supply going.  But at her follow up visit with the doctor yesterday, she got referred back to the ER where they immediately sent her up to NICU again.  Now she is going to be there for days and possibly weeks. :(

I've been through a lot, and this may be the hardest thing I've ever been through.  I feel guilty, sick, worried, helpless, and miserable with out her.  I get panic attacks every time I have to visit the NICU.  All of those tiny babies in all of those boxes just makes me so sad, even though I know they are getting great care.  I've been pumping like crazy and bringing milk for her.  Not sure what else I can really do for her?  The NICU scares me and I still don't understand most of the rules or protocol there.  The nurses haven't been all that kind or welcoming either unfortunately.  They are very business there.

Anyways, I just wanted to introduce myself to the forum.  Also thank you for adding this forum.  I guess you don't really "get" it until you have a preemie or a NICU baby of your own.  Reading all the old threads here has been so helpful and comforting.  I know we will get through this, but man is it hard right now.

[Bokonon]

(((hugs)))

Having a baby in the NICU is definitely one of the most challenging things I've ever experienced.  I'm so sorry you are going through this.

It will really help if you establish good communication with the nurses.  Ask them about procedures and protocols.  They are there to care for your baby, but it's still YOUR baby.  Call to check in on the baby when you can't be there.  Ask about kangaroo care.  And keep pumping and try to rest as much as you can while at home.

I hope your baby gets better very quickly and is home with you before long!  One day in the NICU is one day too long, but I promise the NICU experience will be a distant and unpleasant memory soon.

[CGsMom]

Sorry to hear it.  Hopefully your DD is well on her way to getting better and is home or will be home soon.  I am sorry to hear that the nurses have not been kind, but I agree with Bokonon, they are key to making you feel better.  If they are all business, it may be best to take that approach with them.  Asking about protocols and procedures may go a long way to bridging any gaps between you and them.

Hang in there.