Daycare for 4 yo - go from home DCP to center?

[Dreamy]

The daycare center at my work is expanding, they will finally have a place for my son early next year, a couple of months before he turns 4 (he's been on the waiting list since I was 5 months pregnant with him).

Currently, he's in the home daycare he's been with since he was 11 months old. I love his DCP and she adores him. Their days are fairly relaxed - play, snack, park, lunch, storytime, nap, then free play. Sometimes they do some learning activities. We speak English at home, while daycare is full-time French - he's not picking up the French nearly as quickly as the English however, which I wasn't expecting. Apart from DS, there is a 5-year-old boy, a girl his age, two younger girls (under 3), and DCP's newborn daughter. The 5 year old will leave in September, and I suspect a young toddler would then take his spot.

DS is sensitive and a bit shy around kids he doesn't know, so I worry a bit how he will do when kindergarden starts at age 5.5. He'll be behind on his French, and in a new environment with tons of kids his age.

I wonder if I should leave him in his current peaceful environment until then, or if it would be better to send him to the new center for 1.5 years. There are 78 kids at the center. He would be in a room of 10 4 year olds, and there will be 20 4 year olds in their own playground when outside. I think it would be much more stimulating for him to be around kids his own age, and less of a shock for him when kindergarden comes. There will be more learning activities as well, which I suspect would help with his French.

What would you do (or have you done) - leave him in his secure, homey environment as long as possible, or put him in something a little more school-like and hope it benefits rather than distresses him?


If you got this far, thanks so much!
Edited by Dreamy - 8/17/11 at 9:00am

[Imakcerka]

Personally I'd leave him where he's at.  He'll make up what he doesn't know once he gets to school or you can teach him french when he's at home.  Obviously you need to decide what you think is best but since you asked...

He's in a place that is calm and comfortable, not way too much stimulation but probably just enough for his age.  He has a well known face that greets him every morning and takes care of his needs.  He may be extremely happy where he's at.  One more thing, my girls had semi different experiences and the same educational outcome.  My oldest was in home daycare only and learned how to read at home before kinder.  The little one was in home daycare only and did not learn how to read until she started school.  However the little one is right on developementally as her older sister was at her age now.  There is no difference in their abilities. 

If you need to do it for convenience then do it.  Mama's gotta be happy too right?

[mommy68]

I am a recently divorced mom so for me it would be about convenience. I also have 2 older children that I drive to and from school each day in very different directions so one less child to drive real far away would be heavenly for me! :-)  So of course I would say go with the new DCP. I had my 2 yr old with a in-home-DCP she loved and had to remove her because I could no longer afford her and found a more affordable church daycare center that has tuition assistance available. She had gone to the original DCP for about 8 months when I made the switch. She did fine. In fact, the church daycare has a very strict routine they follow and I feel children need this in their lives. Our days run much smoother when she comes home from the church daycare as compared to the in-home she used to be in. The in-home provider let the kids run around and pretty much do what they want each day with the exception of lunch time and naps, she stuck pretty close to the same time each day on those two things. I believe most children do better with a daily routine.

I also think it's good for our children to experience change starting at a younger age. I didn't do it with my oldest because he too was very shy and hard to get adjusted in new situations and I had trouble with him up until he was about 8 or 9 years old and then he finally broke out of that! It can really get embarrassing when they are that way as they get older. He's 15 now and fine so I'm sure most kids grow out of it anyway with age, but he was always naturally shy and afraid to change things and had I pushed it on him from a younger age he would have had time to get more used to that type of thing. We all have to go through change, it's a part of life!

[Tjej]

I would go with the center at your work.  I assume it is more convenient for you, and it sounds like a nice place.  

Tjej

[ollyoxenfree]

I imagine in many parts of Montreal, there are lots of kindergartens with students who haven't yet learned much French. To settle your mind about his French skills, can you visit the kindergarten and speak with the teachers? They can tell you whether many of the children are fluent or still learning, how they help the children who are still learning French, and whether they think his French skills are an issue. It might help you decide. 

If you decide to leave him at his current daycare, are there other opportunities to work on your concerns? Perhaps sign him up for more extra-curriculars to help him with expanding his social circle. If you find extra-curriculars that also involve speaking French, bonus! 

[Dreamy]

Originally Posted by mommy68 

I also think it's good for our children to experience change starting at a younger age. I didn't do it with my oldest because he too was very shy and hard to get adjusted in new situations and I had trouble with him up until he was about 8 or 9 years old

I think this is the biggest question mark for me. DH and I were both very shy kids, and I wonder how much of his shyness comes from that. I don't know which situation is more realistic - a) shyness is something he will only grow out of with time, so better off leaving him in his familiar, secure environment for as long as possible, or b) introduce him to a new daycare with more opportunities for interacting with a variety of kids and kids his own age, in order to nudge him out of his shell a bit more quickly so that feels less fearful around others. I don't know which course of action most realistic! DH thinks scenario b is better, but I worry that trying to "force" him to overcome his shyness will only add stress to his life and backfire. We'll likely go for that one though and hope for the best - our evenings and weekends are already packed, so adding a class to the mix would be difficult. I think he might have more fun at the new place with peers his own age once he gets adjusted as well, instead of being around mostly smaller children all day.

Thanks for the replies so far

[Tjej]

You might benefit from reading about what it means to be "introverted".  Consider if your son's personality is really shy, or introverted.  There's a difference.

[Dreamy]

Originally Posted by Tjej 

You might benefit from reading about what it means to be "introverted".  Consider if your son's personality is really shy, or introverted.  There's a difference.

I didn't realize there could be a difference... DH and I are both introverts, and I believe DS is as well. He always hangs out and observes before engaging with anything or anyone, and if he starts to sing or dance then finds anybody looking at him, he'll trail off in embarassment (at just over 3 years old!). Even at daycare - he'll follow physical activities like yoga with the other kids, but he won't join in with songs.

[BubbleMa]

I'm an introvert as well.  I always try to explain to people that I'm not shy, but they don't get it. 

Anyway, I would send him to the new place.  Shy or introverted, it won't scar him for life.  10 children in a classroom isn't that many.  Enough that he'll get to form new friendships and learn from the other children, but not too many where it becomes too stimulating and overwhelming.  I imagine your son will thrive that environment. :)