And so the battle begins....

[floss&ferd]

It is so difficult to give up the hope for an amicable divorce.  We are both adults.   There is no substance abuse issues.  We are both employed, etc.  But he has decided to make it as "difficult as possible".  

And plans to run up huge attorney bills because we are going to be "financially ruined so we might as well be in debt too".

Yes, I am the one who filed for divorce.  Yes, I understand that it is a very painful time for him.

But I filed the end of May.  It's been three months.  He decides to FINALLY hire and attorney and ask for a continuance 4 days before the court date.  He is going to change his mind on EVERY single item on the provisional agreement that I already paid MY attorney to prepare and file and that he willingly signed.

It's been three months and he still refuses to move out of the house that he has repeatedly stated he doesn't want and cannot afford to keep.

He sends me multiple text messages/emails every day about how I'm ruining his life, the kids life, etc.  He goes through all of my personal belongings including journals, computer history etc.  If he doesn't know where I am, he calls my family to find me.  He's convinced I am having an affair and tells other people that I am.  

It just sucks.  

[sren]

Sounds you like are approaching this practically while he is approaching it emotionally, using the legal process to kick and scream.  Which absolutely does suck.  My STBX has been doing some of the same things-- taking issue with details that he already agreed to, playing the victim with friends and family (which is priceless, because this is a DV case and I am literally the victim).  It is the last bit of control and power that he has over me.  It is frustrating and expensive (sigh) also really validating.  Through this process he is giving you more information about who he is-- even more than you had three months ago-- and has any of it caused you to doubt your decision? 

That part is a gift.

[ZoeyZoo]

I felt the same way at one point as sren. My ex and I kept agreeing and then he would ask for something new and we would go back to square one.

[floss&ferd]

It does help me get over any guilt/doubt issues very quickly!

I just keep trying to remind myself that it can't last forever.

He does the victim thing too.  He has contacted every single family member with whom I am close---and has now moved on to ones I never discuss personal issues with like my step-sister's husband  Thank goodness, he is almost out of people.  Guess the next step is family members who I haven't talked to in years.  (I have a big family.)

[Shiloh]

sucks and blows.

[crazyms]

Oh fun... I originally filed for divorce 2 years ago and although mine agreed to everything and signed he wouldn't give me the paperwork I needed to finalize it. I let him choose the child support and visitation and property agreement and yet he didn't want the divorce so he withheld all the documentation and made life difficult. I'm going to refile (since it got dismissed after all this time) in about a week and will hopefully get the divorce this time. It took some time checking out the rules to find a way around it all but I don't think he'll be able to stop me this time.

[crazyms]

Oh and mine did the whole getting involved in my life thing too. He started coming out where I work all the time (I bartend and when we were married he hardly ever wanted to step foot in the place... not his scene) and going out with an old friend of mine. He also called or texted all the time and would sometimes just show up on my doorstep since I moved out. He ran around telling people how I was wrong for leaving him that all he did was work hard to take care of me and the kids and I was screwing him over too. Um... I left you the house property household items and all. Got my own place with all new stuff on my own and left because you were cheating and that working hard thing? Then why did I have to work 2 jobs to help take care of it all so that you could keep the job you 'wanted' making nothing. Hm.... okay sure buddy. Gotta love divorces.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Keep the text messages, print them out if possible, and document EVERYTHING.

[Shiloh]

you would think the abusers would grow tired of it all.

the bar was on the ground, stbx is now excavating.

[floss&ferd]

Originally Posted by Shiloh 

you would think the abusers would grow tired of it all.

the bar was on the ground, stbx is now excavating.

  "stbx is now excavating" is the funniest thing i've heard in days.   

[Shiloh]

I think he's digging to china.

[sren]

Bwahahahahaha