Talk me off a cliff here,...

[DeChRi]

So, I am in shock. Like, just told my husband 30 min ago, not telling anyone IRL because I am totally unable to process this.  I am pregnant, which in and of itself isn't revolutionary.  But we have 3 daughters...12, 3 and 14 months.  The youngest two were recently diagnosed with a health condition that has made our lives reallllllly hard.  The special needs they have are really hard for us to get a handle on, although getting easier. They are sick a lot.  We travel next week out of state for a week at a hospital that specialized in their condition.  The youngest was the toughest, as part of her condition has her totally unable to eat any protein, partial or otherwise.  This includes breast milk.  My oldest weaned herself at 4 yrs. My 2nd weaned herself at 2 years.  I pumped for almost a year, while eating next to nothing, praying things would change with #3.  Not breastfeeding was like someone cutting off my arms and telling me to carry my child. I was/am lost. 

I was on the pill but was bleeding irregular. We changed pills a couple weeks ago. 2 days after my least bleed spell we had sex, but only used withdrawl method as 1)  I had been on pills continuously, and 2)  I had just been bleeding like crazy 2 days before.  We felt pretty well covered.  And here I am, 9 days later, with 3 positive tests.  My first child was conceived on the pill.  My 2nd while having an IUD in place. The 3rd was planned in detail and conceived on the first try.  I am honestly, dumbfounded at my fertility.  Short of tubes tied and vasectomy, I am considering abstaining, lol. 

There is a high genetic likelihood that this child will have the same thing the other 2 do.  Which I am still getting a grip on. Both little ones wake up sick and in pain a lot at night, so I am so tired.  The thought of having a baby overwhelms me to the core. 

On the up side...we considered trying for another child when we got our younger two stable.  I am in my 30s and my husband turns 40 this year, so we are not getting any younger.  I have a solid marriage, wonderful partner in my husband, and we are decently financial stable (although medical expenses are a strain, but we are managing okay).

The thought of the day to day scares me. The thought of this baby being sick scares me.  The thought of the other two not being stable by the time it comes scares me. 

I know it will ultimately be fine. But I also know it will be very hard.  My last pregnancy was not easy and my kids require around the clock care.  I am trying to be excited, but for now, am choosing to pretend it isn't happening for a month or two, then will deal with it. 

I just need to get that out somewhere, since I am not tell anyone IRL.

Thanks. :)

[starrlamia]

Im sorry you have to deal with sick kids, that must be very hard! I think your worries are completely normal and justified. Are there any prenatal tests you can do to determine if the new babe will have the same illness?

You will do great! you sound like one tough mama who has a great support system :)

[DeChRi]

Thanks for the reply.  :)  I find that not having IRL people just to say..."Holy Moly!" too, is tough.  I am just not ready to let all the info out yet.  While they know the condition can have genetic tendency, they do not have a test for it yet.  And it isn't a world ender, but it is just SO much work right now until we get control of it all.  Our trip to the hospital this next week will land them in the hands of the best of the best.  As far as chances of passing it on, there is only a 10% chance overall, however, once you have 2 kids with it the percentage is much higher. We will talk it over with the Dr next week.  And it will be fine.  I just feel like we are so far from coming to grips with how to manage everything, but in 9 months, we will be better.  Just a lot a once. 

Babies smell so nice though. :)

[DeChRi]

(like my positive self talk there? ;)  Beats running and jumping from the deck.....lol)

[cameragirl]

I don't have much to offer that would make this better, but I wish you the best. At this point, there isn't much you can do to change the genetic outcome for this babe. I pray that your girls get the treatment they need, and that you can relax a little and enjoy the pregnancy. Good luck, mama.

[Buzzer Beater]

Holy cow DeChRi I was just thinking of you the other day, wondering how you were doing and if you had run off to another board. Now this! Wow you have a lot on your plate. One day at a time, you will get through it and it will all be worth it. And there is such a good chance this babe will be fine!

Let us know how your visit goes with the doc next week, and remember to breathe. You can always talk to us here.

[DeChRi]

Originally Posted by Buzzer Beater 

Holy cow DeChRi I was just thinking of you the other day, wondering how you were doing and if you had run off to another board. Now this! Wow you have a lot on your plate. One day at a time, you will get through it and it will all be worth it. And there is such a good chance this babe will be fine!

Let us know how your visit goes with the doc next week, and remember to breathe. You can always talk to us here.

Hey!!! I've been living on GI boards. My 3 yr old was diagnosed in March, with the same thing. Crazy eh? It has been nuts. My youngest is still no foods. My 3 yr old is doing poorly on about 20 foods, so I'm worried we will have to remove all food frm her, which would mean feeding tube. This team we go see is amazing. Hoping we can get them feeling good, regardless. They are miserable so much.

DH and I have decided to ignore the pregnancy for a couple weeks and deal with details then.

[DeChRi]

Holy crap, I'm having a baby. :-)

[Buzzer Beater]

Yes! Yes!

Congratulations sweetheart!