Dressing and diaper changes a battle every time

[AnnaBees Mama]

9.5 mo DD has always hated getting dressed (specifically, getting a shirt pulled over her head and arms pushed through sleeves), and squirms/screeches/crawls away through diaper changes. Emotions run especially high after her nightly bath, and as soon as I start dressing her, she claws at my breasts to nurse. I would nurse her through it if I could, but my breasts sag and are heavy. It just doesn't work. I have not yet mastered the art of diapering a moving or standing child, and it's kind of hard getting the right fit like that with her chubby little mama milk thighs. :P I try to distract her with a novelty item, but it isn't a guarantee and doesn't last long. I feel like I'm trying to handle a greased pig. Much of the time, I end up 'forcing' the dress change and diapering on her because I feel like if we can just get it over and done with as quickly as possible, we can move on. The flip side of the coin is I feel like I am not respecting her boundaries when I do this. If she can go diaper free, I let her to avoid the drama; and if the weather is amiable, I let her go naked. But it often HAS to be done.

I so dread this, and am looking for commiserating and creative/insightful tips.

[tooraloora]

I feel your pain. My DS can't stand getting dressed either. Now when I'm getting ready to change him, I send DD after a diaper while I catch him, then she helps hold him if necessary (which is um... pretty much always now). Occasionally he'll make it past both of us and we have to enlist my roommate's help. Diapering is now a group activity. I won't make him wear clothes unless we're going out, but the diaper I'm not willing to budge on. I have carpet. He also wants to nurse immediately after bathing. These days I just cop a seat on the bathroom rug and let him nurse for just a couple minutes, and then carry on. Then he's a little more cooperative so as long as I move fast, I can get him diapered and then finish nursing somewhere more comfortable.

[gemasita]

My 6.5 month old flips his head back and arches his back when I am changing him and I honestly can't get the diaper on.  I feel like I'm man-handling him and being disrespectful but he's too young to understand if I try to explain to him.  I start to get mad (because I can't stand there forever trying to change him!) and then I feel guilty.  I do hand him a toy or try to sing him a song, which lasts for 5 seconds or so....ugh.

[Bethusila]

Originally Posted by gemasita 

My 6.5 month old flips his head back and arches his back when I am changing him and I honestly can't get the diaper on.  I feel like I'm man-handling him and being disrespectful but he's too young to understand if I try to explain to him.  I start to get mad (because I can't stand there forever trying to change him!) and then I feel guilty.  I do hand him a toy or try to sing him a song, which lasts for 5 seconds or so....ugh.

 I am going through this same thing with my 9 month old.  It's a never-ending cycle of frustration and guilt when I'm trying to diaper her (and now dress her).  I also try distracting toys/objects and singing, but she just wants to get into everything her eyes light upon, and simply does not have the time to wait around for a diaper change lol.  I get so frustrated and have even started saying "No" when she's trying to take off, which I know is completely pointless.  Then I feel bad because I got frustrated!

[AnnaBees Mama]

Originally Posted by gemasita 

My 6.5 month old flips his head back and arches his back when I am changing him and I honestly can't get the diaper on.  I feel like I'm man-handling him and being disrespectful but he's too young to understand if I try to explain to him.  I start to get mad (because I can't stand there forever trying to change him!) and then I feel guilty.  I do hand him a toy or try to sing him a song, which lasts for 5 seconds or so....ugh.

I totally relate to that guilt and feeling like I'm disrespecting her. Ugh. But what can you do...? She needs something to catch her yucks and she is too mobile at this point to keep her on a thick blanket all the time (we also have carpet)

[Erin77]

I tell my ten month old "Mama's doing it quick quick quick!" and then just do it. I mean, if he has no choice about it, why play around? The best thing I can do for him is get it over as quickly as possible, I figure. I do sing the Hokey Pokey with his arms and sleeves and sometimes he's OK with that. My friends tell me they get over the hatred of shirts over heads eventually...

[Virginia884]

5 month old DD hates shirts, too. The one thing that helps us now is to gather shirt sleeves, put my fingers in (backwards, wrist to shoulder), grab her hand, and pull her arm through. So much faster than trying to force her arm in!

[anjsmama]

Yep, this is my 7 month DD. I give her something she constantly reaches for but can't have - the container of wipes, my cell phone, the car keys , whatever. This will typically make her okay with the diaper change, and then I can stand or sit her up to get her clothes on. She doesn't mind getting dressed nearly so much when she's upright.
 

Originally Posted by gemasita 

My 6.5 month old flips his head back and arches his back when I am changing him and I honestly can't get the diaper on.  I feel like I'm man-handling him and being disrespectful but he's too young to understand if I try to explain to him.  I start to get mad (because I can't stand there forever trying to change him!) and then I feel guilty.  I do hand him a toy or try to sing him a song, which lasts for 5 seconds or so....ugh.

[JulieInChicago]

My 11 mo old is in this boat too, and getting too strong/big/heavy/squirmy for it to be safe, really.  

I put him in the crib to take shirts off and put them on.  Then, I put him on the table, standing, to get pants and/or soakers off.  I lay him down just long enough to rip a diaper off and put a new one on, then stand him up to get new pants on him.  Obviously it's not super safe to have him standing on a changing table but he's grabbing my shoulders and I wrap one arm around him, so it works.

If there's poo to deal with, I'll hand him a clothes pin or straw to play with-- he loves those-- and sing and blow raspberries on his belly and usually that's just enough time to get through it.  

[ContentMama]

We are with you too! Most of the time I think he just doesn't want to be still. I like the response to just do it quickly and not mess around. I also give him chances to run around naked if that is possible but yes, when there is somewhere to go, it's so irritating!

I also tell myself not to take his reaction personally and this helps alleviate some of the frustration for me. Acceptance, it is what it is :)

[tooraloora]

I figured out a solution for my DS. Your DD is younger, so this may be totally useless for you right now, might not. Last few days, I've been having DS "help" with the changes. His sister brings a diaper and wipes, and then hands the diaper to DS, the wipes to me. Then I take off the dirty dipe, wipe him, close the dirty diaper and trade it to him for the clean one. I put the clean diaper on him, and then he goes to his sister to hand off the dirty one which she takes to the laundry, while he and I put the wipes away, we all go wash our hands, and then we all cheer and thank everyone for being so helpful. The first few times it of course did not go perfectly (Little Man kept trying to make a break for it with his dirty diaper) and it took a good bit of helping him through what to do, but now that he's caught on, it's turned into a fun game that he's really loving. He's been getting excited about diaper changes. I don't know how long this is going to work, but it's working really well right now. After baths we're still nursing on the bathroom rug first, but we'll figure that one out eventually.