For the last 2 days, I’ve been having bad cramping every time DS nurses. I’ve tried to limit his nursing time and how often to the point where he’s gone 8+ hours without nursing, which hasn’t happened since he has been born. I feel like such a bad mama for not letting DS nurse. The cramping is not letting up in between nursing sessions and just seems to be getting worse. I haven’t nursed DS since 4pm, and now it’s almost midnight and I’m still having cramping. I decided to check my cervix, to see if anything had changed. I’ve checked it often before pregnancy so I know what I’m feeling for/what feels normal. I also checked when I was pregnant with DS and know the difference between pregnant and non pregnant cervix. Anyways, cervix was very soft compared to 2 weeks ago and I could fit one finger in it… Never had that happen until I was 37 weeks with DS. I freaked out and called my midwife. She was so unhelpful and didn’t seem to take me seriously! She told me there was no way I even knew what a cervix felt like and that I was probably just feeling my vaginal wall….yeah right. She said cramping while breastfeeding is normal and nothing to be concerned about. I told her the cramping isn’t going away and she said, well I’ve never heard of it not going away but I’m sure it’s fine. She told me if I was really concerned to stop breastfeeding and see if it helps, which so far it hasn’t. I haven’t had any cramping at all with this pregnancy and it just started in the last 48 hours to which she said was just because my uterus was “too small to feel the contractions, but is big enough that I can feel them now”???? Ok…. She basically said it’s up to me whether or not to stop nursing DS, but to call if I have any bleeding, otherwise just deal with the cramping. I had my DS with an OBGYN, who had the mindset of it mom is worried about it, we check it out, even if they think it’s nothing over the phone. I realize that with a midwife , she is going to be less interventional, but she didn’t say or do anything to ease my fears that this is or isn’t preterm labor/miscarriage. Since I’m 15 weeks, I’m not sure what they could do if it is preterm labor, but I would sure like to know if breastfeeding is making it worse. I mean should I be on bed rest? Pelvic rest? I’m feeling lost without my OBGYN and wanting to go crawling back to him! I know if I called his office tomorrow and asked to be taken back they would see me that day and check everything out, if anything just to make me feel better. But I also know my chances of a VBAC are slim to none with him in the hospital he delivers at. I’m so torn, my DS is dying to nurse and DH is doing his best to calm him and get him to sleep, but I feel like I’m making an uneducated decision without knowing if these cramps are making my cervix dilate. With every cramp, I’m running to the bathroom looking for blood. So can anyone help me calm down? Anyone having similar issues? Or gone through anything similar? I’m so afraid I’m losing this baby or even worse that the baby is already gone.
Cramping need reassurance!
Oh goodness :( I am so sorry your midwife was so unhelpful and insensitive. I think if I were you I would get in to be seen by your OB for some peace of mind if nothing else. That doesn't mean you can't transfer back to midwife care at some point, so try not to think of it that way. I would be worried too if I were you and would need some reassurance.
Sorry it’s taken me so long to get back on here and update, I’ve been busy with a sad little boy. So I called my OB in the morning and they gave me a run around saying, yes that is very concerning, we can see you today, things need to be done ASAP if it’s preterm labor, but you have to totally switch over for the rest of the pregnancy. And while yes, I could have “agreed” to that and then backed out, I just didn’t feel good about doing that yet, so I decided to wait it out. The cramping is getting better, still going on but getting better. We’ve pretty much cut out all night nursing and “snacking” so DS is only nursing 4X a day max, which isn’t too bad. The first couple of days were really uncomfortable for me which I wasn’t expecting. I thought I wasn’t really producing much milk anymore but apparently I am because I feel very “full” in the morning. I have cheated a few times when I hear DS crying at night and nursed him because I feel so bad, even though he is perfectly fine snuggling with DH, so he is not alone crying. He is having a hard time without nursing as much as he wants and rightly so being only 15 months. My cervix still feels the same and I haven’t had any bleeding although lots of mucus all of the sudden, but I guess that’s normal. So I think for now I feel ok about it, not great, but ok, but I feel like I’m controlling the situation on my own and would feel a lot better to have a drs. opinion on the cervical status. I’m also feeling really let down by my midwife. I just don’t feel like I can trust her anymore. On one hand, yes nothing bad has happened yet, but something could have happened because she didn’t take my concerns seriously. Just makes me wonder at what point will she take me seriously? I mean, yes I worry a lot but don’t most pregnant women worry a lot? Isn’t it her job to reassure the worried pregnant mamas? In the back on my mind I’m always thinking I’m responsible for this baby inside of me, no one else can do anything unless I tell them I feel like something is wrong. So I’m not sure what to do right now. There is a limited number of people I can go to for a VBAC, so for now I’m going to stick it out and hope if gets better. Maybe we just need to get to know each other better, since we’ve only met twice. I see her again next Monday so hopefully things will go better. I think I just developed such a trusting relationship with my OB, it’s hard to let go and trust someone else. Even though the guy was constantly pushing for a C-sec, in the end he let me decide what I wanted but gave me his opinion and just that, never told me I had to do anything, which I really appreciated. So wait and see I guess, thanks for all the thoughts and comments, it really helped me to feel less alone in my worry. It’s hard to be a parent, especially when your baby is inside of you and you can’t see him/her. Sorry this is long! Thanks for listening!
Aw that sounds like a tough situation.
So was it the OB himself or just a receptionist or nurse who told you you had to switch over all the way? Because I bet any good doctor who really cares about their patients would rather see you, make sure you're ok and lose you again than have something bad happen to a little bean. The staff might be irked by extra paperwork but that's so much less important than the health of you & your family.
Good luck. I know it can be so, so hard trying to balance everybody's needs.
All the midwives here in Memphis area that I've talked with have a partner OB they use when Moms need/ want labs etc. Does yours have at least one she prefers to work with? Doesn't she also have assistants and other support-midwives? It seems/ sounds like that you have very little choice for a second opinion. If that is so, then your concern should be taken with urgent care. Because what are you to do? If you indeed have options, then by all means, why not get in touch with them and be seen? I'm not sure what the total-switch over has to do with a distressed expecting mom. I would think, since you've been in OB care before, then out of pure concern he would ask you to come in to be seen. Can he call you himself?
It would be a relief to relax. I'd be a stress ball, not understanding the situation- plus feeling like my support isn't listening. Then, my dh would be all over my nerves with worry of his own, too. If this is the fork in the road that you need to turn at, then I hope another care provider will suit your needs thoughtfully. (Hope that doesn't offend or overstep your boundaries.)
Just a quick update, we've been busy with all the flooding from the rain/hurrican here. Anyways, the cramping has completely gone away...I have no idea why but it has. Which is great! I'm still nursing DS, about 3-4 times a day. I think that has really helped a lot. Also cutting out the night time nursing was a big help too. Still seeing my midwife and still having mixed feelings about it. So we'll see how things play out in the next 20 weeks. Thanks for all your support, you are all so sweet!