I'm at the end of my rope. I want to jump off a cliff. I'm over this. . .and we are only 5 weeks into tandem nursing my 5 week old and my 18 month old. I've searched and searched and can't find a reasonable way to explain nursing guidelines to my 18 month old daughter. I know she understands EVERYTHING I say, but I cannot get through to her that I cannot/will not be able to nurse her on demand. She demands milk every single time I'm nursing DS. I am nursed out. IF I don't give in then she cries on like I've broken her heart and starts slapping or biting me. I can't take the noise and commotion so I give in and I resent it. I resent her. I read and re-read Adventure in Tandem Nursing looking for ways to compromise but all the examples seem geared towards older toddlers who can have a talking relationship with you about limits and solutions. I've tried special toys, books, snuggles, extra time with her, snacks, songs. . .I've tried covering up the baby when the baby nurses. I've tried nursing in a ring sling. (I don't feel like it is safe to nurse in as I'm a very big boobed mom and his face is smashed into me in an awkward way making his breathing impossible to monitor.)
If given the choice today I'd wean her cold turkey BUT here I am. ..asking for ways to limit her, looking for way to set boundaries so I don't feel like pulling my hair out when she "needs" milk as much as my newborn. I never thought I'd be here. . .the guilt is tremendous.
I talked to my doula who knows us all well, and knows how head strong, strong willed, and smart my toddler is. She said go cold turkey. I can't. But if I can't find age appropriate limits I'm going to have to because I loathe nursing her right now.