Really angry toddler

[gitanamama]

Hoping for some feedback from anyone who has been in a similar situation. My 15 month old son has always been very willful and 
*spirited* but lately his anger seems to be overwhelming. He only has a few words ("no" is by far his favorite) so he can't ask for what he wants and he gets frustrated very easily. When he can't do something or doesn't get what he wants, he's started screaming "NOOOO" at the top of his lungs and with obvious anger and frustration. His whole little body gets tense and he literally shakes and turns red from emotion. It's intense! My anger is pretty quiet, so I have a hard time relating to what he's feeling, and I'm unsure of how to approach it. I've tried explaining to him what he's feeling and letting him know that I understand that he's upset, but I think it's all pretty over his head. The actual screaming doesn't bother me too much but it concerns me that he's started yelling at other kids, and I also want to help him manage these emotions without getting totally overwhelmed. I imagine this is just part of life as a toddler, but I've never seen quite so much anger in such a little being (and I'm an early childhood teacher, so I've seen a lot!)

[~cassie]

My 4 yr old is a very angry child.  Always has been.  He reacts to the extreme of a lot of things.  Screaming/tantruming/self hurting/etc.  What helps him is helping him feel in control.  We used to have tantrums over meals.  So now I offer 2-3 choices that I'm ok with and he feels more in control.  That's the major key to my son's wellbeing-feeling in control.  I did the exlpaining-"oh you are angry b/c he hit you.  Instead of hittin him back tell him "'you hurt me' " and that helps some but he is still an out of control mean little boy at times!