Facing fertility treatment, yet still nursing a little one...

[TenzinsMama]

I'm wondering what other people's experiences are when it comes to the likelihood that they will need to undergo fertility treatments (specifically IVF, but it could also pertain to IUI with trigger) in order to add to their family-- but they are nursing a little one still?

I'm in that situation right now, and it's very difficult to make the right decision-- one day I'll read something and then find myself leaning towards one thing, and the next day I'll come across something else and then it's got me thinking differently, and I go back and forth.  One thing that doesn't change is that I really want to add to our family, and at the same time, I have my DS's interests at heart... He's one-year-old, and I think about what his needs are in the short term, and then what things could be like for him long term. 

I'm a big fan of the idea of natural weaning.  It breaks my heart to think about what my DS would have to go through if I initiated weaning.  At the same time, I can't wait until when he would stop on his own-- I'll be 42 in December.  DS was conceived on our second IUI & Clomid, when I had just turned 40.  We'll be getting the results from our recent fertility work-up next week, so I will see what the doc says about our chances.  All I know is she said at my age, it didn't look good-- and that was back then... not sure what she'll say this time around, with my eggies being a full two years older now...

If anyone else has been in this situation and would like to share their experiences with me, it would be great to hear from you.  Thanks!

Edited by TenzinsMama - 8/18/11 at 9:39pm

[livelovelaugh]

I was recently facing this same scenario, contemplating IVF or IUI with meds, but am nursing a 1 yr old as well...Insurance will not cover anything for us (vasectomy), and we are already blessed with 3 healthy children in between DH's bouts with testicular cancer, but we wanted to try for one last child.  I couldn't get past the idea of initiating weaning (my other two nursed until 2 yrs), but if I only had one child it would be different.  It's hard, because I would like to optimize my chances of getting pregnant, but also for us the idea of increasing the odds of multiples does not make sense. 

It  is such a hard place to be...I guess you just have to focus on what an amazing thing you have done for him this past year with the nursing, and what an amazing thing you would be doing for him for the rest of his life by giving him a sibling. 

Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TenzinsMama]

Livelovelaugh, thanks for sharing.  Yes, I certainly think what I would be giving him for the rest of his life, by giving him a sibling.  What a wonderful way to put it.  I grew up with my brother and we had such wonderful times together.  I know that just because you get along as kids, it doesn't mean you are close as adults, but I am sure that we would have stayed close.  Sadly, that will never be known, because he died in a motor vehicle crash when he was 19, and I was 21 (20 years ago).  But, I cherish the memories of us doing things like camping, bike riding, exploring the woods-- you never had to worry about trying to make friends wherever you went, because you had your sibling right by your side, and I think it ended up making it easier for us to hang out with others too.  Also, my DH and I are older parents (I'm almost 42 and he is 39), so, and even though we are healthy, we do have to consider 'what if'.  I don't want him to be alone, facing that, because that's what I'm doing right now with my parents getting up there in age.  Anyway, I don't want to be a downer, but that is just the reality I'm looking at.  And then, I do look at our nursing relationship, and I think that I've given him an amazing first year of nutrition and comfort... One thing I have noticed is that now that he had a bunch of teeth come in this past month (4 at one time) he isn't wanting to nurse as much--so maybe the decision will come a little easier for me as time goes on and he is naturally heading towards weaning anyway... We'll see.

Anyway, thanks for responding, I really appreciate it!  I'm taking all the good luck you are tossing me!!!!