Does potty-training mean the end of long walks & hours in the park??? :(

[crunchy_mommy]

DS is just about ready to potty-train out & about (he's been doing awesome with it at home!) but I am so so sad about it!!

He pees very frequently (sometimes several times an hour) and poops 1-4 times a day (kind of erratic) so I can't necessarily plan for it. Maybe eventually he'll need to go less often but it seems like he's pretty much ready to be done with diapers so I have to deal with where he's at now.

But we just love taking long walks around town, spending all day at the park (most of the ones here do not have restrooms), etc. I am OK with him going in the bushes in a distant section of the park but sometimes we are at smaller parks or walking through the city (an area where there aren't lots of businesses with public restrooms and no semi-private areas to retreat to), small beach with no bathrooms, things like that. I feel like potty-training will mean such a dramatic change in our daily life, and not a good one!! These long days out are the best part of our life and the only thing I really enjoy right now, and the only time when DS is really happy.

[SweetSilver]

Yeah.....potty training is in some ways harder than diapers.  My youngest is 4.5 now and when we go camping we still have issues, even though we have our little potty and our camping spot is next to the restrooms.  My oldest at 6.5 is finally able to go camping without the holding-it-in issues of last year.

     We had to plan our activities around bathrooms, and always making sure that bladders were empty if we weren't going to have another chance.  And when they were "working on a poopy" we would hang out near the bathrooms until (ideally) they could get it out.  This is really the worst part.  Running to the potty 5, 6, 10 times with no luck.  I went to a family reunion near a campground in Oregon, then we visited the beach.  I had a potty-training toddler and a 4yo.  I spent they whole time racing to the restrooms because we didn't have room to pack the big potty.  Big mistake!  My 4yo didn't poop for 3 days, but we made about 60 trips.  Now, 2 years later, we still pack the potty and we FIND ROOM NO MATTER WHAT!

     And sometimes, you gotta go where you gotta go!  I was eating lunch in the gardens at the farmer's market and my then-2yo had to go potty.  Halfway on the other side of the market, past crowds of people.  No way!  We peed in the garden.  The only other choice was an accident.  One old lady saw me and said "YOU ARE A BAD MOTHER! A BAD MOTHER!"  Oh, well..... whatever...

     So, yeah, you'll have to change your habits some.  Pack lots of fresh pants and undies and even socks, a plastic bag or two for wet clothes, lots of wipes because poopy accidents are really messy when you have to pull undies down over their feet.  And maybe a ziploc for clandestine poops in the bushes, so you don't get stuck leaving it there.  I'm serious!  

     You never know how your son will take to potty training.  He might be like my oldest, pretty easy to pee on command.  (She wouldn't have poopy accidents, but she would hold it in and make everybody else miserable with her moods, but no accidents.)  Or he could be like my youngest, still working on it 2.5 years later.  Even at my girls' ages there is a fair amount of coming and going, so take it in stride.

[JamieCatheryn]

We never had that trouble. By the few months past potty learning DS1 could give enough warning to get to a bathroom, or if hiking or we ended up with the restrooms closed he's use a tree or bush.

[lifeguard]

It's obvious that different children take to it differently. Ds has been out of diapers for a year now & I honestly haven't had any of the difficulties that sweetsilver describes. We carried the potty seat around for about 2 months & then were able to graduate to any old toilet.

Here are the things that work well for us:

-always trying to do a potty trip before leaving the house

-bringing extra clothes if I know we will be gone more than a couple hours

-for a long time I showed ds that there was a bathroom where we are but we don't need to do that anymore

-peeing outside is great & as long as we are in a "green" area I just find a private area away from where people are - if people wouldn't be upset about a dog peeing there I don't see what is wrong with a toddler peeing there

-we've gone pee in MANY places there was not a public washroom. MOST shop/business owners are more than willing to let a 2 year old with a panicked looking mom use their washroom even if it isn't public - especially if you are exceedingly polite about it - just watch out - they are often not very clean!

As for the frequency of trips - it gets better! The first week we were potty learning ds peed 20+ times a day!!! But it really didn't take him long to be able to go much longer between pees & now I swear his bladder has got to be triple the size of mine!

[starling&diesel]

How old is your son, crunchy mommy?

[crunchy_mommy]

Thanks for the tips so far, I feel so in over my head on this.

He is 2.5yo.. He started very very very occasional peeing in the potty around a year old (tried EC, was a disaster) but it's only been in the last few months that he's asked to use the potty more regularly, and in just the past few weeks he has become way more consistent and is now pretty much accident-free for pee at home. Poop is another story, we are still working on that but I think we had a breakthrough. The hard part is that he really needs to walk around a lot to poop and it takes him anywhere from 5mins to an hour. But at least in that case we have enough time to find a potty sometimes, though other times it would involve putting him in the car which I know is torture when he needs to walk.

I did see some small 'portable urinals' like this (I know, I know, they are for the elderly! ) but I think that might be an option because it's small enough that even if I had DS in the Ergo I could still fit that in a small bag... I feel like it would be so awkward to stop in the middle of the sidewalk in front of someone's house to use it though lol.

He is very good with public toilets (at least for pee) and will go about 50% of the time when I offer. So I don't need a special seat for him or anything at this point. Extra clothes and plastic bags are a good idea. I don't know why I'm finding this so stressful.

[starling&diesel]

My dd is also 2.5 yrs old and has the same story as yours, leading up to pottying.

We never really did any potty training, but she had the tools, knew how to use the potty, knew when she had to go, but wasn't interested in any of it until recently.  Then about a week ago she decided to use the potty, and won't have anything to do with diapers anymore.  I stuck close to home that first day, and then went numb with boredom and from focusing way too much on her bodily functions.  So as of day two of no diaper, we've been out of the house all morning, home for nap, and then out again when she wakes up. 

No accidents so far!  So we're still new at this, but I'll offer what's been working for us.

She goes potty before we go.  When we get to the park, library, playground, Science World, pool, community centre, spray park, etc I show her the nearest potty and suggest she uses it. 

I make note of loos along the way, and have no compunction about begging that my toddler be allowed to use an otherwise not public toilet.  If she says she doesn't have to go, I leave it at that, with a reminder that she tell me when she does have to go.  I check in with her about every ten minutes, which is probably too much, but I am still nervous about being away from home.  We don't bring a potty with us, because I want her to use whatever loo is available and we don't use a stroller so no way to really carry one.  If it's a big toilet and she's a bit nervous of it, I hold her steady on it and tell her a story so she can relax enough to go. 

I think it's okay for us mamas to feel the fear and go for it anyway, if we think our kids are ready. 

I bring a spare pair of underwear and spare pants.  For the first couple of days, I also brought one of her cloth diapers, in case we went through the other stuff, but I've left it at home for the last few days.

I also bring an old cotton prefold just in case she has an accident inside somewhere (store, library,etc) so I can wipe it all up right away without having to as for paper towel.  Haven't had to use it so far.

And I bring a wetbag too.

Our most daring adventure was a loooong tricycle ride to the doctors yesterday.  It was ten city blocks there and ten city blocks home.  I kept asking if she had to go, and finally she stopped her trike and looked at me and said, "I'll say I have to go potty when my body says I have to go potty!"  We made it home dry, with just one potty stop along the way. 

She had to go in between loos the other day, and so she went on the grass.  I'm with lifeguard (Hi lifeguard!) ... if dogs can pee on the grass, then why not a potty-learning toddler? 

I, for one, would rather have five accidents a day than stay home!  Go for it, mama!  One or two accidents might be all it takes.  Or he might surprise you and have none!  Good luck! 

ETA:  I've added a bit of ground flax seed to her yogurt in the morning, just to make sure she doesn't get constipated.  And I make sure to offer her lots of water, because I'd rather she have a few accidents than get a bladder infection from holding it in.

Edited by starling&diesel - 8/19/11 at 11:17am

[McGucks]

I am a very big fan of peeing behind trees or bushes (for potty-training children, that is, not me).  With DS1, we just tried to be very discreet.  Don't know if this'd work with a girl, though!

[~cassie]

My newly turned 3 yr old(8/18) just got potty trained 2 months ago.  Outings can be a pain in the behind-esp in a big mall type area with limited bathrooms.  When we are outside-I just make sure to find a private spot for him outdoors.  Other people may not approve but it's better than having to go back home or carry a pee/poop soaked toddler.

[lifeguard]

starling - your daughter is awesome!!! I try hard to avoid asking ds if he needs to go but it's hard sometimes - especially when I'm sure he does & is avoiding going.

[crunchy_mommy]

LOL starling, that's too cute.

Today we went for a short walk and I must have asked him every 5mins, "Do you need to pee?"

I think maybe since he's still needing the diapers for poop, I can keep him in them for outings, but pretend he's wearing underwear... maybe that will give me the practice I need in finding places for him to go. It's hard not to get lazy with that method though...

[Dazedstella]

crunchy mommy- check out the potette plus, another mom recommended it to me on here, it is awesome, and you can use disposable liners in it if you are somewhere without a potty. 

[SweetSilver]

Originally Posted by lifeguard 

It's obvious that different children take to it differently. Ds has been out of diapers for a year now & I honestly haven't had any of the difficulties that sweetsilver describes. 

I hope I didn't scare a new-to-potty-training mama with my stories.  I swear DD2 had the tiniest bladder ever, and she still gives us a run for our money with the potty, and she's nearly five!  Phew!  Good to know that other mamas have trekked fewer miles to and from public potties than we have.....

[Nicole730]

You've already got lots of good advice.  I just wanted to chime in and agree with Lifeguard too.  It hit me a few months ago that dogs can pee anywhere outside, so of course it should be okay with the general public if toddlers need to do so every now and then.  Human urine can't be that much different than dog urine.

[dancingflower]

Hey, now Im puzzled here.

I'm a new mom and haven't got to potty training yet.I've seen this portable potty in the parks around here (probably the one mentioned above) and had assumed that everybody uses those.

I see them pretty often, casually placed under a bench where someone's belongings are piled, ready to be used. Never seen it in action though. My mom says they are foldable and supper dupper practical..

And to give you a lil perspective, I don't think you are over thinking. You said your LO can pee a few timess in one hour and poo up to 4 Times a day. If I compare with DS (18mo though) your lil guy is a pretty active eliminator. Oh should I be giving more water to DS? Maybe not , they are all so different.

No no, don't stop your long days out. Get yourself a portable potty.





No

[T-man's Mama]

Yes!! Potette Plus is awesome. Since I EC'ed my son from birth, this was a great discovery. Even at 2.5, we still take our Potette on long outings. It can be used as a sit alone potty (with a baggy or bowl underneath) or the legs can lay flat and it can be used over an adult potty as a toilet insert (this is how we usually use it).

Originally Posted by Dazedstella 

crunchy mommy- check out the potette plus, another mom recommended it to me on here, it is awesome, and you can use disposable liners in it if you are somewhere without a potty. 

[crunchy_mommy]

Hmm the Potette Plus looks cute but I have never seen anyone around here use a portable potty. I'm thinking it would be more subtle to just have him go in the bushes or something rather than set up a big potty lol. But I'll keep it in mind. I think we still have a couple weeks (maybe more) of diapers while he masters pooping in the potty... TBH I'm really hoping we can make it to Nov. or so, because it will be too cold to be out for long by that point so it won't seem like such a cramp in our lifestyle.

LOL at the "frequent eliminator" comment!!! Does that mellow out eventually, or will he always go so frequently????

[Blessed1]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 

Hmm the Potette Plus looks cute but I have never seen anyone around here use a portable potty. I'm thinking it would be more subtle to just have him go in the bushes or something rather than set up a big potty lol. But I'll keep it in mind. I think we still have a couple weeks (maybe more) of diapers while he masters pooping in the potty... TBH I'm really hoping we can make it to Nov. or so, because it will be too cold to be out for long by that point so it won't seem like such a cramp in our lifestyle.

LOL at the "frequent eliminator" comment!!! Does that mellow out eventually, or will he always go so frequently????

I have 4 friends who use the potette plus potty with their toddlers EVERYWHERE!  And it's not big at all.  Very discreet in fact, IMO.  I've seen them use it in the car (foot well), in the trunk, at a park, on hikes...etc. 

:)

[Nicole730]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 



LOL at the "frequent eliminator" comment!!! Does that mellow out eventually, or will he always go so frequently????

It should.  My son started using the potty at 22 months and he was peeing over 20 times a day!  It was crazy.  It didn't take very long to go down to 10 or so, and then drop even more as he learned how to hold it in. 
 

[JudiAU]

Assuming you are walking and don't have a stroller, I'd pack the little bjorn little potty in a backpack with a couple of extra grocery store plastic bags or some paper towels or some wipes and get walking. Instant potty. Comfortable familiar. I'd dump the pee pretty much anywhere and bag the poop for the trash. I don't have really issues with little boys pee'ing in bushes but sometimes when they are little the don't have the signals straight.

We drive a lot in the car and DD uses it all the time.

And anyone who feels anything other than sympathy for a potty learning toddler can [insert expletive]. My role as a mama is to help give potty learning independence and that requires a little flexibility. LO just turned 2 and hasn't had an accident in at least four months.

And I am not really an "asker" for young potty learner. I ask if I don't think it is critical. Otheriwse it is time for potty and that is that.