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High Needs Toddler support thread - Page 5

post #81 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by gitanamama View Post

Yes!! Thank you so much for reviving this thread. We had a relatively easy phase a bit after I wrote my last post (1 tantrum a day instead of 6.) I can't really pinpoint any developmental leap-- DS started playing on his own a bit more than before (meaning 5-10 minutes, rather than 30 seconds) but that's about it. But now we're struggling again-- this time with transitions. Even if I give him plenty of warning and reminders and talk him through the whole process, DS still has a really hard time switching gears. We haven't left the house for two days in a row because I don't have the energy to deal with the power struggle that comes with getting dressed, shoes on, and out the door. And then the tantrum when it's time to leave the pool or park. The other day I had DS finally dressed after a 20 minute struggle, went upstairs to quickly change my shirt, and came down to find that he'd taken all his clothes off again and was jumping on the couch. We spend so much time in no-man's-land as well Mamalizzy!! The space between activities stretches out endlessly and I find the whole day has disappeared and I haven't really gotten anything done.  

 

5-10 minutes sounds impressive!!! thumbsup.gif  I am right there with you on transitions. We frequently have days like those! (the jumping on the couch bit sounds sooo familiar! ROTFLMAO.gif).  There is the tiniest of windows, those few times when I can get him to agree to go somewhere, where I can then immediately dress him and whisk him out the door.  Frequently, I miss it (since the window is about 2 minutes max), and then we're stuck.  All day. I do figure he just needs some chill time around the house (usually we have a couple days of down time right after major scheduling or travel - general overstimulation), but then I wonder if I'm just horribly lazy or lack a backbone or whatever. greensad.gif

 

I need this thread so I can stay grounded in AP and remember that I just have a spirited kiddo - have a place with people who understand, and not second guess myself.  It's hard when we are stuck inside and I think, "how would I even explain this to someone else?  They would immediately say my toddler is running the household, I am out of control, I need to lay down the law, blah blah..." 
 

I would like to think that I would have parented a compliant blob the same way, but I am glad DS has made me realize (even more, perhaps) the value of cooperation, respect, really listening to my kid and feeling out his needs  - involving him in decisions and activities.  I always say we fell into AP (co-sleeping, babywearing, all of it!) mainly because DS clearly would tolerate nothing less. winky.gif

 

At the very least, we are both alive, healthy and fed (if not always happy) at the end of the day, and that is something! thumb.gif  I know my hours and effort went somewhere, because it's night and I'm exhausted. orngtongue.gif

post #82 of 84

Oh, and as for nights - I still don't have those figured out. smile.gif  DS was up until sunrise recently (another way I feel like we are back in infant mode - days and nights mixed up!) - that was special.  But for most nights, I finally had to bag all our "routines" and just let DH go to bed, then turn the lights off, watch quiet videos (I know, but it works) and nurse until he falls asleep.  Sometimes it's sooner, sometimes it's waaaay later (plus side of skipping naps is it's usually sooner).  Thanks to luckiest, I realized I could diaper him and put pjs on AFTER he falls asleep, which has been AWESOME!!! orngbiggrin.gif  One giant battle avoided...

 

It's weird, but it works for us, and I'm allll about what works! thumb.gif  As for the tantrums - do you think he might just have leftover stress to work out?  I know after many a tantrum, DS can fall sound asleep.  I think it's a dramatic form of stress relief (from overstimulation, not being able to power down easily, whatever the case may be - just need to blow off some steam).  Could he also be missing his sleep window, maybe?  Overtired?

post #83 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by pickle18 View Post

 

I need this thread so I can stay grounded in AP and remember that I just have a spirited kiddo - have a place with people who understand, and not second guess myself.  It's hard when we are stuck inside and I think, "how would I even explain this to someone else?  They would immediately say my toddler is running the household, I am out of control, I need to lay down the law, blah blah..." 
 

 

 

My feelings exactly. I've been getting a lot of  thinly veiled "feedback" from family and friends lately about our "layed back" approach to raising DS. It's all well meant and just little comments here and there, but I end up second guessing myself a lot. The general consensus seems to be that we don't discipline DS enough-- that we let him call the shots. And some days, after changing plans and not leaving the house because DS isn't in the mood to put clothes on, it feels that way. But the other option involves forcing a screaming toddler into clothes and the carseat and whatever else is on my agenda-- and that doesn't seem to benefit anyone. 

It's so nice to be able to come here and decompress around other mamas who get it!!

post #84 of 84
Having lots of nap issues with my 19 month old. She is high needs, very emotional and intense but devoloping right on track so im not too worried. She has always been very difficult with sleep since the moment she was born. After loads of chriropractor trips and consistency things did get a bit better. Night time sleeping isnt much of an issue anymore but napping is a problem. She will only nap on me, she will wake up and scream bloody murder if i try to transfer her to the bed. If i do somehow successfully transfer her to bed i need to be laying next ti her and she needs to be touching me. This is a problem for me because im pregnant and need to pee all the time! Lol. If she skips her nap she wont go to bed any earlier. She is always fed and tired before i try to get her to nap. Insomnia does run in my family and i have it, so im almost positive its related. Sleep is so important and her not getting enough concerns me.
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