Yes!! Thank you so much for reviving this thread. We had a relatively easy phase a bit after I wrote my last post (1 tantrum a day instead of 6.) I can't really pinpoint any developmental leap-- DS started playing on his own a bit more than before (meaning 5-10 minutes, rather than 30 seconds) but that's about it. But now we're struggling again-- this time with transitions. Even if I give him plenty of warning and reminders and talk him through the whole process, DS still has a really hard time switching gears. We haven't left the house for two days in a row because I don't have the energy to deal with the power struggle that comes with getting dressed, shoes on, and out the door. And then the tantrum when it's time to leave the pool or park. The other day I had DS finally dressed after a 20 minute struggle, went upstairs to quickly change my shirt, and came down to find that he'd taken all his clothes off again and was jumping on the couch. We spend so much time in no-man's-land as well Mamalizzy!! The space between activities stretches out endlessly and I find the whole day has disappeared and I haven't really gotten anything done.
5-10 minutes sounds impressive!!! I am right there with you on transitions. We frequently have days like those! (the jumping on the couch bit sounds sooo familiar! ). There is the tiniest of windows, those few times when I can get him to agree to go somewhere, where I can then immediately dress him and whisk him out the door. Frequently, I miss it (since the window is about 2 minutes max), and then we're stuck. All day. I do figure he just needs some chill time around the house (usually we have a couple days of down time right after major scheduling or travel - general overstimulation), but then I wonder if I'm just horribly lazy or lack a backbone or whatever.
I need this thread so I can stay grounded in AP and remember that I just have a spirited kiddo - have a place with people who understand, and not second guess myself. It's hard when we are stuck inside and I think, "how would I even explain this to someone else? They would immediately say my toddler is running the household, I am out of control, I need to lay down the law, blah blah..."
I would like to think that I would have parented a compliant blob the same way, but I am glad DS has made me realize (even more, perhaps) the value of cooperation, respect, really listening to my kid and feeling out his needs - involving him in decisions and activities. I always say we fell into AP (co-sleeping, babywearing, all of it!) mainly because DS clearly would tolerate nothing less.
At the very least, we are both alive, healthy and fed (if not always happy) at the end of the day, and that is something! I know my hours and effort went somewhere, because it's night and I'm exhausted.