IMPORTANT ? plz answer

[aka_angelz]

I was wondering if i can deny visitation to my babies daddy if he doesnt pay child support,can i do that?he hasnt yet but hes pissed off cuz i wont let him c them until he gets a job(hes a loser with no intention of ever getting one,least thats wut hes shown me in the past when i was living w him)

[paloma]

Usu. they are 2 separate issues, depending on the state. This is more a question for legal counsel.

[mocha09]

I don't know your situation at all. Perhaps you don't think your kids would be better off if they never saw their dad at all.

If not, I urge you to re-think using visitation as a weapon to get the support you deserve. In other words, despite his loser-ness, is it in the kids' best interest to not see their dad or see him less often because he is not paying child support?

[anothermama]

In general, the courts frown on a parent using their children in this way to get money. I don't know your situation but it sounds like you aren't taking advatage of the legal system. If you have a custody agreement and support order in place, get them enforced. If not, you need to look as cooperative as you can while still keeping your kids safe, and then work on getting the paperwork in order. If you randomly deny visitation because of money (or whatever makes you mad) that can be used against you later.

[aka_angelz]

its not because of the money that i deny him to visit them,its because i want him to become responsible and i want him to realize that he has 2 kids and that they need him,both emotionally and financially.i want him to grow up!thats all i want,im not angry at him,i dont hate him although i have every right to with everything he put me through(abusive,both physically and emotionally)but i guess that becoming more responsible cant be forced on a person,it has to be theyre decision...neways

[anothermama]

Originally posted by aka_angelz
its not because of the money that i deny him to visit them,its because i want him to become responsible and i want him to realize that he has 2 kids and that they need him,both emotionally and financially.i want him to grow up!thats all i want,im not angry at him,i dont hate him although i have every right to with everything he put me through(abusive,both physically and emotionally)but i guess that becoming more responsible cant be forced on a person,it has to be theyre decision...neways

youre right......you can't force a person to do anything. and, while I understand what you are saying, a court would just see it as you being manipulative. courts dont care if people are mature or responsible or any of that........they care about the letter of the law. Just always keep that in mind so you and your kids are protected and you can always look back and say you did your best.

[paloma]

please don't try to change him. That will be a sorry dissapointment.

[Patchy Dragon]

In most states it is 2 seperate issues. And trying to change a leopards spots is not possible and trying to force it may result in a lot of resentment and tension added to the frustration of him not taking responsibilities seriously. Not a very good equation IMO.

Take deep breaths and each day one at a time.

[oatmeal]

Op

It's not within your power to decide what your ex can or can't do with visitation.

it's up to the State.

Unless he's beating or endangering your children it's impossible they will deny him access.