Eight week old of doom! (Extremely fussy baby).

[FishyTombu]

Hey there, I'm a long time creeper of the mdc forums, but this is my first post. I'm the first time mother of an eight week old girl. She has a usual evening fussy time, however, over the last week her fussy time has increased daily and now it's to the point that it's all day. She doesn't "cry" all that much because my dh and I try to keep her happy. The fact that she is consoled (at least temporarily) implies that she's not in serious pain, but it is getting extremely difficult to constantly amuse/distract her. I wear her in a sling all day and evening when she seems to want it and she has free access to whichever titty tickles her fancy in the moment -- but lately even these can only keep her content for a maximum of ten minutes at a time. She's exclusively breastfed, sleeps with dh and I every night, her poos are normal, she doesn't have a temperature... I'm bloody baffled. Is this healthy eight week old behaviour?

[mamazee]

She could just be colicky but you could take her to the doctor to make sure she doesn't have reflux or something. The first three months or so were really hard for my older child. She was fussy pretty much constantly, though she had moments where she seemed to feel soothed by us. I took her to the doctor, who said it was just colic and to just wait it out and do our best to console her when she was unhappy, but then when she was older she was diagnosed with reflux, which makes me wonder if she had reflux all along.

[DaisyMae08]

I'm a first time mom too.  My son is now 7 months old, but I seriously wanted to jump out the window when he was 8 weeks old.  Apparently the 6 - 8 week period is their fussiest.  They cry the most they are ever going to cry around that time and then it starts to decrease.  So, you're likely in the middle of the worst/fussiest period your little girl will ever have.  That's the good news!  Seriously, by the time my wee one was 12 weeks old it was a much different picture.  At 8 weeks I could barely stop bouncing him in his carrier long enough to put one bite of food in my  mouth!  Just know that you won't have to deal with this for long. Good luck!

[FishyTombu]

Much obliged ladies. I had told her doctor about it and he said pretty much the same thing about colic (I get the feeling that colic is just a way of saying "babies cry -- we don't know why but if it makes you feel better we'll give it a name and call it a diagnosis"). If it continues for much longer at this pace I will be taking her back. She doesn't spit up very much at all and insofar as I can tell she's not in any pain physically, she's just really edgy. Like when you're in a pissy mood and it feels like each hair on your body could trigger a tantrum by bending slightly. Last night ended with both of us crying... boo.

It's amazing the kind of crushing guilt you can feel over something you have so little control over. I'm not a particularly coddling type of woman -- she fell off of the couch the other day and I was fine with it once I had determined she wasn't hurt -- but she hit this point of rattling, coughing crying last night that slayed me. All I could do is hold her and have my butt kicked by the biggest sads ever to happen. There was a point where my poor dh was bouncing her as she bawled and trying to snuggle his shoulder up to me as I leaned against his back and cried.

Sorry, venting a little, I guess.

Thank you both so much for responding, it is comforting to me to hear that others have survived this and their babies didn't whither away from all the energy and tears expended in these fits, or explode or something.

[marylavelle]

My DD was the exact same way.  All the books said that the fussiness would peak at 6 weeks, but for us, weeks 8 to 10 will forever live in infamy...not colicky really, just fussy...I did eliminate dairy and that helped somewhat.  Once we got to the 3 month mark, things improved dramatically.  By 4 months, the inexplicable (gassy?) eruptions were gone.  Hope this helps!

[marylavelle]

My DD was the exact same way.  All the books said that the fussiness would peak at 6 weeks, but for us, weeks 8 to 10 will forever live in infamy...not colicky really, just fussy...I did eliminate dairy and that helped somewhat.  Once we got to the 3 month mark, things improved dramatically.  By 4 months, the inexplicable (gassy?) eruptions were gone.  Hope this helps!

[DaisyMae08]

I remember taking my little guy to the dr who told me, "He's being a baby."  Um, ok thanks.  I'll crawl back under my rock now and cry.  :)  Hang in there.  I know it's hard!!!

[APToddlerMama]

I would try pulling dairy out of your diet and make sure she doesn't have reflux.  These were the two reasons my DS was a terror around that same time.  Good luck! 

[untererde]

 As the mother of a now 4 month old who was a very fussy newborn, I wanted to write something to say that I am SO very sorry to hear about your struggle, and that I can at least try and commiserate... There is nothing that will make your bones hurt quite the way listening to your screaming inconsolable child will... I remember wearing her strapped to my chest nursing (and screaming simultaneously) so I could have two hands free to tear open some sort of frozen muck to eat for dinner... 

My lifesaver was having friends nearby who could take her for an hour or two and listen to her scream and then smile with equinimity when I returned. ... If you don't have friends or community who can come take over, don't be afraid to get the baby clean, dry, well fed, in a safe place, and step out on the porch for a breather with a glass of red wine. I developed a firm belief 'If I can't hear you, you're not crying!' I do think it might be true.

There really are existential/ neurodevelopmental crises that some babies endure that cannot be fixed by any amount of comforting. And no one who hasn't been there can understand quite how hard it is... I learned to love the phrase (overheard from a  more experienced mother), 'I know, I know, it's hard to be a baby...'

If it's any consolation, my little one is asleep peacefully in a pack-and-play, not with me nursing continuously, for the third night out of the last four, and I have had minutes and even hours on end to use both my hands and have several thoughts to rub together. I hope and pray that this time may come swiftly for you too! (As a positive aside, the continuous nursing you've done is just about sure to have built up a monster supply, the envy of many a woman).

The '6-8 week peak' is from EDD, mine was born 3 weeks early.. she turned a bit of a corner at 8 (which felt dramatic at the time) and then really was a new child at 12 weeks.  They call it the fourth trimester, and usually count from EDD, which can just sound like a bunch of malarky, moving the finishing tape just when you're nearing it, but I do hope it's some small consolation that so many people seem to believe that THERE IS a finishing tape for this fussing, screaming business...What you're doing takes great courage... Grace and peace to you (all) tonight.

[FishyTombu]

So, somehow and for I have no idea what reason, something happened after that night and Hero is now a babbling and smiling baby. Last night there was nary a peep from her that wasn't a heart-swelling coo and she slept through all of her "witching hour." Tonight seems to be going along similar lines. Dh read something that said newborns will often experience periods of increased stress before reaching a developmental milestone and today it seemed like she actually smiled at me on purpose. Wishful thinking? What do you think about that? I think it makes sense that they would be more needy and less able to identify what those particular needs are while processing large amounts of information.

Thanks again for all of your support and feedback.

[erigeron]

Mine is 8 weeks old and has been unusually fussy the past couple of days too. Last weekend she was fussy too, then during the week was ok, then this weekend has been fussy as well. (Hubby and I are both home all the time, so it's not to do with our schedules.) She's also started refusing the breast while seeming hungry, which she's never done before. I hope this is just some 8 week fussiness thing.

[wehrli]

Originally Posted by FishyTombu 

So, somehow and for I have no idea what reason, something happened after that night and Hero is now a babbling and smiling baby. Last night there was nary a peep from her that wasn't a heart-swelling coo and she slept through all of her "witching hour." Tonight seems to be going along similar lines. Dh read something that said newborns will often experience periods of increased stress before reaching a developmental milestone and today it seemed like she actually smiled at me on purpose. Wishful thinking? What do you think about that? I think it makes sense that they would be more needy and less able to identify what those particular needs are while processing large amounts of information.

Thanks again for all of your support and feedback.

my 20 week old still gets fussy and fights sleep just before a "milestone"... smiling with purpose.... that's such an awesome one! congrats!
FX that you continue to have some respite from the fussies!

[ashleyc]

This was totally us.  Weeks 6-10 were SO FREAKIN HARD.  Sometimes I felt like a wreck.  So this doesn't sound like the case for you but we didn't realize that our baby fought sleep so we just let him be up as long as he wanted, and then of course after 5 hours!!!! he was not a happy little monkey.  The big thing was to try to get him to sleep any way we could for chunks of time.  If you wear him a lot, then I guess he would be getting lots of sleep.  We also moved toward a gentle routine of feeding him about every 3 hours so we'd try to feed, play a bit and then put him down when he we saw the sleep cues.  It took like 2-3 weeks for this to start working and it was a VERY flexible schedule.  But he started responding and having long afternoon naps and being a bit happier.  At least we could have more play time - it wasn't like the whole day was dedicated to trying to solve fussiness, getting him to sleep or him being a sleep or us re-settling him.  Although we do still have days like that sometimes.

ANYWAY, I really hated when people said "hang in there" it gets better at 12 weeks, blah, blah, blah because 12 weeks might as well have been 12 YEARS!  But it does get better.  For us it started around weeks 10/11.  Still though he can be pretty high needs and needs LOTS of entertainment and stimulation.  

I hope things are looking up for you by now! :)

[falafala]

My first 2 babies were all colicky for about 5-6 months and weren't a whole lot better after that. However, I broke down and took the 3rd one to the chiropractor after his first month and he was so much better within a week! Here is a link about colic that I found useful http://backpainandpregnancy.blogspot.com/2011/10/colic-and-chiropractic.html

[MamatobabyA]

I have a 20 month old boy.  He loses his ever loving mind right before a milestone.  Crying.  For no reason.  For hours.  Only now it's worse because he can talk so it's mamamama crycrycry mamamama.  Then the next day he'll do something new.   I took this picture when DS was 6 weeks old after a particularly trying day.  I gave it to DH when he got home and told him I wanted diamonds for mothers day.

Hang in there mom, it gets better and much less frequent!

[tjjazzy]

mine start all this around 3 weeks. i'm on my third fussy baby and it's so hard not to blame myself. my first 2 i'd call colicky. ds1 screamed for hours every evening til about 3-4 months, ds2 til 5  months but this baby i think is just having a witching hour every evening. i wouldn't say she's colicky bc she's consolable for short periods of time here and there. i just hope she's not working up to it. there's no way i can do it again. i don't know what i'll do.