Rural homeschooling mamas...I need encouragement/perspective

[crunchyintexas]

DH and I want to move out of the suburbs and live in a rural community. The problem is, the areas we are looking at (southeast Oklahoma) seem to have nothing going on for homeschoolers.

Now, this is just going by the list on the state's homeschooling website.

Where we move to next is where we want to settle. For life. We do not want to live in a town, but we want DS to have socialization opportunities at least a couple times a week.

So here's my question: could it be that there is stuff going on, just not officially and we won't know until we get settled there (or really check around before moving)? Or have I just got into the suburban mindset that we must have a homeschooling group to belong to and am worrying about nothing?

Our new property would have plenty for DS - nearby lakes and streams for swimming and fishing, plenty of woods for exploring, all the amenities country living brings.

I need some direction and encouragement before we take the plunge. Thanks! :)

[moominmamma]

Where I live (village of 600, region of 2000, an hour and a half from the nearest bigger town) there's a lot going on, and no, it doesn't show up on a website. A lot of it isn't strictly for homeschoolers. What's going on amongst homeschoolers doesn't show up on websites: it travels word of mouth. And as soon as a new homeschooling family moves into the area, word gets to us.

We don't have a homeschooling support group per se. We know the three other homeschooling families in our village, and we do things together occasionally. We have an extended set of art classes coming up this fall, for example, and the kids organize social get-togethers semi-regularly. Because we're such a small population, though, my kids have friends of all educational stripes and most of their socializing ends up being with non-homeschoolers. It works fine. They have lots of music friends, and gaming friends, and soccer friends and market friends and neighbour friends. They attend community soccer league and community orchestra and community choir, rather than homeschool-based groups. They are very likely to be involved with social circles and activity opportunities that are multi-age (often with adults as well). 

Every small town and rural area has its own culture, of course. We have found ours to be very inclusive, giving, and communicative. Some are more insular, built of separate solitudes, less likely to open up to new people or new ways of doing things. I would never choose my "forever home" without knowing it well enough to get the flavour of these things. 

Good luck!

Miranda

[kittywitty]

I would contact someone in the area first. You may get lucky, like Miranda, or you might get stuck in BFE without anything like myself.

Honestly, living rurally and wanting homeschool socialization several times a week would be nearly impossible most places unless you live *right* outside of a larger area like Oklahoma City.

[Daffodil]

I live in a small town/rural area, and there are plenty of other homeschoolers and activities for homeschoolers here, but you wouldn't find out about them by searching online.  A lot of things are publicized very locally, often by word of mouth or through an informal email list.  But my area might be more populated than the area you're thinking of moving to.  The population of my county is about 25,000 and a quick look shows me that a lot of Oklahoma counties have fewer people than that, despite probably being a lot bigger.

[ameliabedelia]

My experience is that rural areas are almost always going to have less organized homeschool groups and activities than more urban or suburban areas simply because there will be less homeschoolers (due to their being less people in general).  Now, that may be okay for some people and their kids make friends through other extracurricular activities like 4-H, music class, sports, etc.  Or, it may not be and their children may have trouble making friends. 

If you are looking for groups or activities specifically for homeschoolers, I wouldn't count on their being many.   In fact, I would think it would be nearly impossible to get *homeschool* socialization a few times a week while living "rurally", but you could certainly get socialization through things like 4-H, sports, etc.   However, depending on the area, it can also be hard to make friends.  In my experience, living in a community without a lot of "transplants" (families that moved there) can make making friends more difficult than if you live in a place with a lot of transplants.  In my experience, places where most everyone grew up there, has a lot of extended family there etc., the people may not be as "open" to making new friends, as they would be in places where that isn't the case.  It really just depends on the area.

If you can do it, I think anyone's best bet for living rurally, is to try to live just outside or close to a city (even if it's a small city) and try to get as close to the city as possible while still having the land that you want to have.  I think the possibilities for making new friends is always going to be more in a city, so getting as close as you can to a city or larger town would be ideal.

However, I also think it depends on how you define "rural".  Some people consider anything not near a city as rural, while others think rural is only if you have no one else for miles around.  If you are looking for the "no one else for miles type of rural" I do think it is going to be hard.

I live in a small town/rural area, and there are plenty of other homeschoolers and activities for homeschoolers here, but you wouldn't find out about them by searching online.  A lot of things are publicized very locally, often by word of mouth or through an informal email list.  But my area might be more populated than the area you're thinking of moving to.  The population of my county is about 25,000 and a quick look shows me that a lot of Oklahoma counties have fewer people than that, despite probably being a lot bigger

25,000 isn't too bad as far as population goes.  I also think that some parts of the country have a great proportion of homeschoolers than other parts of the country, so that is another factor to consider. In some places, homeschooling is more popular than in others.

.

[kathymuggle]

I live rurally.  Honestly, if I had to do it again, I would pick a rural property closer to the city for various reason (and a big one is availability of HS resources - and, as the kids age, other resources). There are lots of good things about rural living - but there are lots of good things about towns and cities, too.  Pick wisely.  

[SweetSilver]

We live in a small town about 30 min from Olympia, a small city.  So I would consider us semi-rural.  If it weren't for the proximity to town, we would definitely be rural as our town isn't quite a suburb (yet!)  Even making the transition here from a big city was a mind-numbing shock.  It took about a year or a little more to adjust.  Then I noticed when we visited relatives in Seattle I *hated* leaving the house--the bustle, the noise, the going going going.  It was then that I realized how much I had adjusted.  I love living in this little town, and we are due to move to our 10 acres this spring.

     So, wherever you choose, there will be the adjustment period.  Try not to second guess your choice without giving yourself some time.  While I do love our treks into town, I could easily see skipping it if we were further away.  Your kids are going to love it then criticize you for it whatever you do (OK, big-time cynicism there.  Sorry!)  If you love it and keep yourself busy and allow your kids to keep busy there is so much you could do.  You don't need a coop, but I might be over-confident.  Or anti-social.  Whatever.

     Good luck!  I hope you find that dream....

[onatightrope]

We live in the suburbs, but hang out with rural homeschoolers.  Most of our more rural homeschooling activities are not listed on the web anywhere, and many are informal (which has the bonus of being free, frequently).  What I would suggest is that you ask about homeschoolers in the area you're considering on a statewide e-list.  Homeschoolers are good networkers, so its likely that someone will know someone in the general area, and if you contact them, they can connect you to someone who really knows the scoop for the specific area.  I would be surprised if there wasn't anything going on, although it may be very different from your options in your current area.

[onlyzombiecat]

We live in a small town surrounded by rural areas and other small towns.

Information about groups and activities in a small town is probably not going to be on the internet. IME they don't really embrace the internet in rural/small town areas as much- things are known more word of mouth. There may or may not be organized homeschool activities in that county. You could go to the local libraries and ask if they know of any homeschool groups/activities in the area you are thinking of moving to.

You will likely just have to get used to driving much farther for anything including social opportunities.

You could have your child involved in something like 4H or scouts or library/church programs.

We do not belong to a homeschool group. We do know a few other homeschoolers but most of our friends send their children to school. It is fine to hang out with people who don't homeschool too.

[SewSwim]

We are also in a rural area (NE Kansas! onlyzombiecat), homeschooled my children until my daughter was a sophomore and son through 6th grade.  No organized homeschool group within 60 miles.  This is a huge reason they are both now in the public school.  :(  It's working okay, but not ideal.

I have gone back to school for a master's in Instructional Design and Technology, taking courses online.   My undergrad degree was education.  Anyway, all that to say I have been looking and looking for ways to use my training to help the homeschool community -- especially those of us in rural areas.  If there had been AT LEAST online community/support, I may have continued.  But, it seems homeschoolers by-in-large are somewhat risk-averse when it comes to the internet and their children's involvement.  I have been trying to start an Online Homeschool Cooperative, but I have a ways to go before it is where I'd like it to be.  Everything takes money, which I don't have much of right now because the school is getting all our extra!! 

In all my searching an poking around on the internet looking for something close to my idea, I have actually found something very similar called "Virtual Homeschool Group."  I will be a volunteer with them for the first time this year.  It's not exactly what I had in my mind, and there may be room for more than one group, but they seem to have a large audience.  Check it out if you are interested.

In hindsight, if I could have had a choice in the matter, I would have chosen to homeschool in a bigger city rather than in a rural environment.  But, hindsight is always "20/20" so they say.  My daughter scored a 34 on her ACTs and its looking like scholarships and school entrance should not be a problem.  I think her "plan of escape" is the University of Chicago, if they will have her.  Now, we just need to get everyone else to a better place.  There can be a lot more issues with a rural environment than simply lack of support.  It may work for some, and when the kids were little, we could live in our own little "homeschool" world.  But, as kids grow, they need to learn how to interact with the community/people/world in which we live in.  Isolation can only last for "so long" before it starts to become a real problem.