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Children, parents, restaurants, manners, etiquette... - Page 9

post #161 of 200

And I love it when kids lean over the back of a booth or peek out and smile at me.  Just so long as they don't do it for more than 10 minutes.  I looooove playing peekabo with a happy baby/kid.  Although some people here would see that as rude probably.

post #162 of 200

the reason for the bread rule is so that you do not have to get your lips greasy before you touch them to the wine glass.  (or water glass if that's how you roll) by buttering only what you can pop into your mouth you avoid that scenario. 

 

fancy people really get repulsed by finger and lip prints on the glass and floating oil on the wines, apparently, throughout history, or at least where butter and bread and wines coexist.

 

do i get a prize?  i thinks somebody needs to take me and the cracker throwing toddler to dinners.  somewhere fancy.

post #163 of 200


Cracker Barrel, HERE WE COME!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by hildare View Post

the reason for the bread rule is so that you do not have to get your lips greasy before you touch them to the wine glass.  (or water glass if that's how you roll) by buttering only what you can pop into your mouth you avoid that scenario. 

 

fancy people really get repulsed by finger and lip prints on the glass and floating oil on the wines, apparently, throughout history, or at least where butter and bread and wines coexist.

 

do i get a prize?  i thinks somebody needs to take me and the cracker throwing toddler to dinners.  somewhere fancy.



 

post #164 of 200
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Honey693 View Post

Wait, how am I bitter?  B/c I called her hon?  Dude, I called the cashier at Wal-Mart hon the other day.  It's reflex.  But if velochic wants to think I'm bitter, well bless her little heart.

 

And bread at fancy restaurants just seems like too much trouble.  I am weirdly fixated on bread today b/c I am craving carbs and we're out of bread at home (where I butter the entire slice and bite it).

 

 

Actually, I was thinking you are bitter because you seem to want to discredit me by making up lies about things I've said on other threads.  If you so hate the idea of going beyond manners and conducting oneself with rules of etiquette, then just don't respond to the thread.  You don't have to try to belittle me, call me names or misquote me.  Literally the *ONLY* tie this subject had to wealth is that some rules of etiquette are usually only seen in restaurants that are astronomical in price.  Not once did I say we dine in them regularly.  And yeah, $100 is easy throw down for a meal for 4 people (all who eat adult entrees) and those places are casual and from being tied to wealth that it makes me want to LOL.  Yet you seem to want to put me down... and I can only assume that is to make yourself feel better.  I have tried very hard to be polite in this thread, even when called names.  In a moment of anger, I write something I shouldn't have, you and your cronies pounce on it like a cat.  And I had immediately edited it out.  People like yourself who have to criticize to make yourself feel better seem bitter to me.  So, don't use the rules of etiquette that I wanted to discuss.  But you don't have to insult me because I care about them.
 

 

post #165 of 200

Practical joke involving getting someone all worked up and then saying SYYYYYYKE!!!!!!!!!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post




What does "punked" mean?

 



 

post #166 of 200
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Charlie's~Angel~ View Post

Practical joke involving getting someone all worked up and then saying SYYYYYYKE!!!!!!!!!
 


Well, that doesn't make sense.  Especially as coming from a brand new member speaking about someone who has been here for 10 years.  I guess it was meant to be trouble-making and stir things up.  Got it.

 

For others, I appreciate some of the more pleasant discussion.  It really was something I was thinking about and wondering about and I appreciated the honest and polite replies.  I now see that we are wealthy freaks (eyesroll.gif) because we're an older, hard-working, established couple who was raised with impeccable table manners (and that because we're not both American and are trying to raise dd multiculturaly, we're doing her a disservice), can afford to occasionally eat at upscale restaurants (because it's one of our only forms of entertainment as a family), and avoid processed freeze-n-fry foods at chain restaurants... and that we will be scorned and made fun of as we break our bread into pieces and place our napkins on our laps.  I'm good with that.  I'd rather be different than to be mainstream. Got my answer and I am... outta here.


Edited by velochic - 8/26/11 at 4:57am
post #167 of 200

Wait.  My immense love for Applebees and Cracker barrel makes me a sheeple?  WOW!  Now whose bitter?

post #168 of 200
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Charlie's~Angel~ View Post

Wait.  My immense love for Applebees and Cracker barrel makes me a sheeple?  WOW!  Now whose bitter?



No, I wasn't talking about you or anyone else in particular.  (And the comment was particularly not address to you, it was just that I was responding to your answer about what "punked" meant.)   I was talking about the general consensus that we are not going with the flow because, unlike the majority we are teaching dd archaic and useless rules or etiquette.  I will edit it out as it's meant as "mainstream" and I don't want to be misunderstood.  Thanks for pointing this out.

 

(FTR - We like Cracker Barrel, too and as a matter of fact, dd and my mom ate there last night.  They have fresh food.  Applebee's, unfortunately, I can't agree on that one as the food is too processed for our personal tastes, but to each his own.  My dad loves Applebee's and when we get together, he often picks it... as I've said elsewhere, "company trumps cuisine" and I'd eat just about anything to spend precious few moments with my dad.)

post #169 of 200


This is just getting downright comedic, now.  I know you werent calling ME sheeple.  Just people LIKE me.  winky.gif
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post





No, I wasn't talking about you or anyone else in particular.  (And the comment was particularly not address to you, it was just that I was responding to your answer about what "punked" meant.)   I was talking about the general consensus that we are not going with the flow because, unlike the majority we are teaching dd archaic and useless rules or etiquette.  I will edit it out as it's meant as "mainstream".


Ive also never considered my palate to be "mainstream", but I suppose my pocketbook is.  I love Brie.  Does that count as NON maindstream? 
 

 

post #170 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post



Actually, I was thinking you are bitter because you seem to want to discredit me by making up lies about things I've said on other threads.  If you so hate the idea of going beyond manners and conducting oneself with rules of etiquette, then just don't respond to the thread.  You don't have to try to belittle me, call me names or misquote me.  Literally the *ONLY* tie this subject had to wealth is that some rules of etiquette are usually only seen in restaurants that are astronomical in price.  Not once did I say we dine in them regularly.  And yeah, $100 is easy throw down for a meal for 4 people (all who eat adult entrees) and those places are casual and from being tied to wealth that it makes me want to LOL.  Yet you seem to want to put me down... and I can only assume that is to make yourself feel better.  I have tried very hard to be polite in this thread, even when called names.  In a moment of anger, I write something I shouldn't have, you and your cronies pounce on it like a cat.  And I had immediately edited it out.  People like yourself who have to criticize to make yourself feel better seem bitter to me.  So, don't use the rules of etiquette that I wanted to discuss.  But you don't have to insult me because I care about them.
 

 



It seems that there has been a ton of miscommunication about this. I cant find anywhere where Honey says that you posted in that thread. She was only saying that if you wanted to have a big argument about how you "worked really hard for your money" to have it on the thread that is specifically devoted to that issue, and not to turn yet another thread into a class war.
post #171 of 200


DING DING DING, WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER. 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post




It seems that there has been a ton of miscommunication about this. I cant find anywhere where Honey says that you posted in that thread. She was only saying that if you wanted to have a big argument about how you "worked really hard for your money" to have it on the thread that is specifically devoted to that issue, and not to turn yet another thread into a class war.


Woops, I mean roasted duck.  Sheepish.gif
 

 

post #172 of 200


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post



Actually, I was thinking you are bitter because you seem to want to discredit me by making up lies about things I've said on other threads.  If you so hate the idea of going beyond manners and conducting oneself with rules of etiquette, then just don't respond to the thread.  You don't have to try to belittle me, call me names or misquote me.  Literally the *ONLY* tie this subject had to wealth is that some rules of etiquette are usually only seen in restaurants that are astronomical in price.  Not once did I say we dine in them regularly.  And yeah, $100 is easy throw down for a meal for 4 people (all who eat adult entrees) and those places are casual and from being tied to wealth that it makes me want to LOL.  Yet you seem to want to put me down... and I can only assume that is to make yourself feel better.  I have tried very hard to be polite in this thread, even when called names.  In a moment of anger, I write something I shouldn't have, you and your cronies pounce on it like a cat.  And I had immediately edited it out.  People like yourself who have to criticize to make yourself feel better seem bitter to me.  So, don't use the rules of etiquette that I wanted to discuss.  But you don't have to insult me because I care about them.
 

 


Pot meet kettle?

 

Gently, I think you are missing the point.  I don't think 95% of the posts have been against learning or using proper manners when dining.  However, the idea that if you don't use proper dining etiquette you are somehow ... um ... not worthy of nicer places or you haven't worked hard enough to deserve it?  Or that only certain restaurants deserve nice manners?  Yeah, those are the things that are a little off putting and frankly, sound elitist.

 

I care about manners and etiquette and my son is learning about it as he's interested and exposed to different situations.  He's shown an interest in helping me set up for dinner parties a few times and has learned about different forks and such.  But to assume he doesn't need to use his napkin properly because he is only dining at Outback?   That is the attitude that is insulting.

 

post #173 of 200

Closing for review.

post #174 of 200

Doraline Kae - Your account has been closed. You carry the same IP address as a member who was banned for trolling discussions.

 
Anirbas - "you are a snob" is namecalling. You are being issued a warning.
 
coffeegirl, ChristyMarie, TheGirls, seawind - If you would like to post to this thread your posts should be about the general topic of dining etiquette and the parent's responsibility for a child's behavior in a restaurant setting. Please stop focusing your posts on insulting velochic, picking apart her posts to create drama arguments, and/or criticizing her dining choices and spending.
 
velochic, I realize that some posts in this thread are attacking and making implications against you. But you are equally held to our UA and must post respectfully. 
 
We have a very diverse community with members of tremendously great and tremendously minimal income, and many others somewhere in between the two. What one family spends on a month of groceries is what another may spend dining out a few times or even once a month. Everyone has diffferent priorities and they make room in their spending for things that are important to them. Avoid making statements that belittle or shame anyone's choices. 
 
I am reopening this thread for discussion. Please be sure to post VERY respectfully and in discussion of the general topic and not about individual members and their choices. Those who continue to post to make personal accusations and untoward statements will be warned and may have their posting privileges suspended. 
post #175 of 200

CM, please do let me know what you found so inflammatory in my post? that observation about etiquette is tongue-in-cheek but with a definite element of truth. in a world where for so many starvation is a painful reality, some of these rules seem absurd and of serving no value other than to place people on a pecking order. i make a definite distinction between manners and etiquette. that distinction is based on the difference they make to the functioning of society as a whole.

post #176 of 200

I didn't read the last few pages of posts, so forgive me if this has already been said.

 

Those who make a big fuss about eating "properly" and dining etiquette who simultaneously claim to not judge those who don't....well, I don't understand. Isn't the entire point of the propriety simply a matter of appearances? Really....if MY wine glass has greasy fingerprints on it, why should anyone else care?

 

If you fuss with knife and fork at Taco Bell, spread your paper napkin in your lap, what is the purpose of all of that? Is it simply to separate oneself from the "Great Unwashed"?

 

I'm not saying that anyone should eat like a caveman or wipe their faces on their sleeves. I just think that most fine dining etiquette is little more than a show. If someone is appalled that another person spooned their soup in the wrong direction....well, that says more about the appalled person than it does about the soup-eater. If the purpose of spooning your soup away is so that it doesn't splash on you, then really....the only person who should be concerned with it is the person eating the soup. 

post #177 of 200
I am now a little worried because I put my napkin on my lap no matter where I am because that's what I'm used to and it's most comfortable for me. I always know where it is! I hope people don't think I'm separating myself from anyone, because really it's just that I like having my napkin there.
post #178 of 200
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2xy View Post


Those who make a big fuss about eating "properly" and dining etiquette who simultaneously claim to not judge those who don't....well, I don't understand. Isn't the entire point of the propriety simply a matter of appearances? Really....if MY wine glass has greasy fingerprints on it, why should anyone else care?

 

If you fuss with knife and fork at Taco Bell, spread your paper napkin in your lap, what is the purpose of all of that? Is it simply to separate oneself from the "Great Unwashed"?

 

I'm not saying that anyone should eat like a caveman or wipe their faces on their sleeves. I just think that most fine dining etiquette is little more than a show. If someone is appalled that another person spooned their soup in the wrong direction....well, that says more about the appalled person than it does about the soup-eater. If the purpose of spooning your soup away is so that it doesn't splash on you, then really....the only person who should be concerned with it is the person eating the soup. 

 

You may think it's little more than show, but I don't.  It has nothing to do with judging, it simply is something you are teaching your child or not.  And asking the question, "Do you teach this to your child" is not judging.  It's a question.  The problem with this thread is people are acting like they're being judged and it's really just a simple question that got blown out of proportion.  If you don't teach it, then just say so.  You don't have to qualify it.  Nor should I have to qualify why I *do* teach it.  Nobody said they were appalled that another spooned their soup in the wrong direction or even that they are observing whether one does it or not.  The question was whether or not these finer points of etiquette (that are not used very often) are taught to children today.  That's it.  Nothing more.
 

 

post #179 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post

I am now a little worried because I put my napkin on my lap no matter where I am because that's what I'm used to and it's most comfortable for me. I always know where it is! I hope people don't think I'm separating myself from anyone, because really it's just that I like having my napkin there.

 

Those scrawny paper napkins at fast food places and such would just blow off my lap. I simply can't imagine they would be very effective in your lap, that's all. I do put linen napkins in my lap when I eat somewhere that uses them.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by velochic View Post


You may think it's little more than show, but I don't.  It has nothing to do with judging, it simply is something you are teaching your child or not.  And asking the question, "Do you teach this to your child" is not judging.  It's a question.  The problem with this thread is people are acting like they're being judged and it's really just a simple question that got blown out of proportion.  If you don't teach it, then just say so.  You don't have to qualify it.  Nor should I have to qualify why I *do* teach it.  Nobody said they were appalled that another spooned their soup in the wrong direction or even that they are observing whether one does it or not.  The question was whether or not these finer points of etiquette (that are not used very often) are taught to children today.  That's it.  Nothing more.

 


I never said you have to qualify it. I'm simply asking what the purpose is of dining etiquette, and why do you think it's important to teach it? You mentioned earlier that you have to know these things in certain situations. Is it because in certain situations, people are judging? Watching? Observing and sizing you up?

 

This isn't an attack. This is asking you to consider WHY it's important to know where to place your napkin when leaving the table, or which fork to use for creme brulee. If it isn't some sort of classism, I'd like to know what it is.

 

Neither I nor my children have EVER been in a situation where those things are important, so no, they haven't been taught those "finer points" of etiquette. We jes' common folk. Personally, I don't think it takes a lifetime to learn those things if it becomes necessary to know them. I guess my kids will be smart enough to view a tutorial if they are ever invited to the White House.

post #180 of 200
I put two napkins in my lap at fast food places. I don't know where I'd put a napkin if it weren't in my lap. It is so automatic for me that it would feel very awkward to put it anywhere else. Hmm I probably scoop soup away from me too, because that's how I've always done it and I don't actually think about it. And break the bread into little bits and eat a bit at a time buttering each bit before I eat it. I guess I do all of this, and the kids do copy me, but I don't notice how other people do it. I would never judge other people over something so (IMO) silly as how you break bread, and I hope other people wouldn't judge me either.

I think this was a big deal for my mom, and that's probably why I do it how I do it. It is not a big deal for me, and I don't think about it as I eat.
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