Battling the "I want to be a big kid" vs. the fact they're not yet big kids.

[TSomm]

Ok, so my 18 month old decided she's now a big kid, and she's my only (so far).  She sees us sit in regular chairs at the table, she wants to sit in regular chairs.  She even puts a dinner napkin on her lap.

Unfortunately, this also means no bib and makes a complete MESS of herself and her food.  Food is on her plate, the table, the chair, her clothes, in her hair, the floor...  This drives me nuts.

Half of me says, she's just a kid, let her have fun, she'll grow out of it.  The other half says, BUT ITS SUCH A MESS!  I'm tired of doing this multiple times a day.

The mealtime example is just one example of her wanting to be "big".  How do you deal with the tantrums that result in a little kid wanting to be a big kid?

[katelove]

If it's not a safety issue then I try to let her do whatever "big kid" things she wants to. 

My LO is only just 15 months so meals are still messy regardless of where she eats them  I often take her shirt off before a meal but other than that I just do a lot of cleaning up. If I don't feel like cleaning up a huge mess then I try to feed her something that won't be too messy - sandwich or cheese and biscuits or something.

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by katelove 

If it's not a safety issue then I try to let her do whatever "big kid" things she wants to. 

That. Actually, even if it is a safety issue, I often let him do it (with spotting, of course!)

I would also say, pick & choose your battles. If the dinner battle is worth fighting to you, then set your rules & stick to them. I think no matter what, you are going to have to deal with the messes at some point though, because how else will she learn? I would just take her clothes off before meals, and even put a large square of fabric under her chair that you can shake off & throw in the wash...

My DS really REALLY thinks he's a big kid -- actually an adult -- and at 2.5 has more interest in pushing swings than riding them, hangs out to chat with the adults, insists on unlocking & opening the car door, etc. It would be really hard to hold him back, because it's so much a part of his personality, so we try to work with it rather than against it, and give him lots of opportunities to be 'big'.

[lifeguard]

Another way to look at it is that it is their desire to learn & grow. I really try to let ds have as much independence to do things himself as I can. Yes, it means messes but messes can be cleaned up. But you know, as a result he is better at eating with utensils, cutting with a knife, drinking from a cup, getting in & out of the car, etc, etc. because we do let him try these things on his own.

[hildare]

ohhhhh this is us, too.  the screaming while she puts on a shirt is amazing. 

HERNAME do it.  HERNAME DO IT!   all i can do is just say ask mommy if you want help. 

it is seriously making her have some crazed behavior, mainly with the dressing. 

i've pretty much given up on the floor beneath the table, i just sweep and spray and mop every night.  she is in no way interested in being assisted with ANYTHING.  i hope this passes quickly, but this has kind of been her personality all the while.  pre-crawling was equally full of misery and screaming.

[CassnBeth]

We are awash in this too. On the upside of this stage, I can get DD to do almost anything by asking if she wants to do it "by self." Next on my list for this treatment; potty training.