Any other high risk pregnancies?

[CheekyLilMonkeys]

Hi just wondering if there are any others due in November with high risk pregnancies?

Last year my son was stillborn in May at 23weeks, the initial autopsy report showed no reason which we'd been told to expect as often no reason is found. SO we were told it was just a horrible, random thing and no reason to expect it to happen again. I then had a miscarriage in September at 8weeks (on the due date of my stillborn son). This pregnancy I was put under the high risk specialist as a precaution to closely monitor this pregnancy due to my history.

We'd just finally started to let ourselves get excited once we hit 24 weeks and this little rainbow has been measuring on for dates (our stillborn son was small for dates), then a week later I got a call about a final autopsy report. I've spent several days on the phone chasing it up with the hospital I birthed my son in and the hospital his autopsy was done at and finally was able to speak to the dr that did his autopsy. Seems a copy of the final report was sent to the hospital I'm at for antenatal care but somehow got lost on the way. Turns out that they DO know the reason my son died. This alone was a shock and a lot to process. It was an issue with the placenta and cord caused by the mothers (so mine) body. Apparently this issue has a very high chance of recurring.
 

In the midst of all this I had another unexplained bleed at 25 weeks (had one at 16 weeks too). The doctor that did the autopsy urged that it is very important I see the high risk specialist again ASAP with this new info as the baby I'm carrying could be at risk. I'm 26weeks along today and have an appointment at the hospital on Tuesday. I'm so desperate to get to 28 weeks so that if the placenta starts to fail him they can get him out before it's too late and he'll have a good chance.

Just wondering how others with high risk pregnancies cope with the fears. Do you feel able to bond with you baby? Have you prepared anything or purchased anything for the baby or are you holding off?

I've been doing things I regretted not doing with the baby I lost - singing to him, organising photos of me looking pregnant etc. I worry about my children, we waited till 20 weeks to tell them about this pregnancy because losing their little brother last year hit them hard, they are so excited now I just couldn't see them go through that again. We just found out my brother and his wife are 12 weeks along and they are so blissfully happy it's hard not to feel jealous when at 26 weeks we are still in fear and waiting to see if we get to keep this baby. And through all of this everyone tells me the best thing I can do for this baby is to not stress!! How do I do that!?

[IwannaBanRN]

I've never been high risk, but I'm praying that everything will turn out fine for you.

[LiLStar]

I hope everything turns out well for you! It must be especially difficult to receive that news while pregnant :( It does sound promising that this little one is measuring normal, good sign that the placenta is doing its job! 

[Viriditas]

I haven't been high risk either, but I just wanted to post my good wishes for you and your baby.  I think it's great that you've made it to 26 weeks and that the baby is looking so good.  If you can only make it a couple more weeks, your baby will have a 90% chance of survival!  Those are pretty good odds.  Best of luck to you and try to stay positive, even though I know it must be hard not to worry. 

 

[Jennifer B]

I also lost a baby prior to this pregnancy and am labeled "very" high risk.  I have multiple risk factors with this pregnancy and can totally relate to your fears.  We have finally started buying things for this baby, but I can not bring myself to unpackage items and I am keeping receipts with everything.  My fears are multiplied by the knowledge that this will be my last pregnancy, no matter how it ends - there are no more chances for me.  :(  I worry EVERY SINGLE DAY that this will be my last day with this baby.  I live for every kick and panic when I don't feel her for a while.  I've already been to L&D twice, both times for contractions and once I had not felt her move for a while.  I've been on every other week appointments since the beginning of May.  Last week's appointment was moved up one day because I hadn't felt movement for more than a day.  I finally felt her moving before the appointment and she checked out fine.  Noting how concerned I am, my doctor has now moved me to weekly appointments even though I am only 27 weeks.  I have been on bedrest since the end of May and will be on bedrest until 36 weeks.

[MommaFlanders]

Hi there! I am not high risk, but have had a miscarriage before. That isn't the same I know as what you went through, but some of the fears are the same. I am still so worried that something will go wrong, but I am just trying to concentrate on every little kick and movement I feel and treasure the time I have with this little one inside me.

I will be thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed that everything will go smoothly for you. I know it is hard not to stress and stay positive, but you are almost there girl! Sending you lots of strength and hugs.

[CheekyLilMonkeys]

Thankyou for all the encouragement. We got the results of the autopsy, there was fibrous tissue in the cord which meant the flow wasn't enough and this is why my son died last year. It could occur again at any point this pregnancy so they need to closely monitor his growth and the blood flow through the placenta. I now have a 50% chance of miscarriage during the 1st trimester and a 14% chance of stillbirth. The doctor was very thorough in reading through the report and checking all my blood results taken at the time I lost my son. She measured the fundul height and it hadn't changed in 2 weeks. This can obviously be a normal variation but just in case she has brought up my next scan which I'll be having tomorrow. I'm so scared of what they'll find. I know he can be just naturally measuring smaller and it not mean anything but I don't know how I'll handle the stress if he is. If at any time it appears he is starting to struggle they will induce me immediately. If his heart rate is dropping it would probably mean an emergency ceaser to get him out quickly. I feel so fragile and ready to cry all the time, I just wish I could get excited about having a baby instead of all this fear. We could lose him, or have a premmie, or go full term no issues, and I just wish someone could tell me so that I could prepare myself and my children.

I had a friends Blessingway today and did the henna art on her belly. She's 36 weeks along. Her midwife was there and listened to the baby's heartbeat etc I have done 2 other blessingway henna's in the last couple of weeks - everyone loves having it done and it's become a tradition amongst the group of mum's I know but I'm the one who does it - so if I don't go along then the mum misses out. It was so difficult today and emotionally draining and the whole time I was worried because I couldn't feel my baby moving. And so jealous of the innocence and excited anticipation.

I'm doing the things I wish I had done with my son that was stillborn - making sure I have photo's of myself with a pregnant belly, singing to him and even reading to him. Its hard to imagine that I really will get to hold a healthy bub in 3 months time.

Jennifer B - I'm paranoid about him kicking too, any change in his usual pattern and I suspect the worst. Even when he is moving if they are only small movements I panic that he is weakening. I have just a few special outfits but they are packed away - every so often when I'm alone I get them out and just look at them and touch them and then fold them away very carefully. I won't get anything set up or clothes sorted or anything like that till 36 weeks, until then any preparation is just going to be getting our house and affairs in order (nothing specifically baby related, just things that have needed doing). I wish someone else didn't have to feel this stress but at the same time it's a relief to talk to someone that understands xo