Our 3.5 year old will lash out at us if she is frustrated about something (not doing what she wants us to do, etc). We talk repeatedly to her about the fact that hitting is not ok, and will not get her what she wants, that we use hands for kindness and being gentle, etc. Last night my husband lost his cool and spanked her (not too hard) and it upset her. He said that spanking worked for him (he respected his parents and never hit them), though i reminded him that she is only 3.5. The idea of spanking to teach a child not to hit is ridiculous to me. It feels wrong to my core.
How have other parents dealt with a child who hits when she's frustrated? How do I talk to my husband about this when he feels so differently from me? Help!