adding an addition to the family?

[eblindauer]

So i currently have been obsessing about trying for a girl. seems how i have 2 boys oldest will be 3.5 in october, youngest will be 2 in october. they are exactly 18 months apart! so it was fun raising them so far lol. but i want to know what i should expect now having a child when my current ones are older? what should i expect, what have you experienced that makes things easier or more difficult? i just want to know some things farther in advance to know if im prepared for another one yet or not. 

[MsBirdie]

MY two are 5 years apart and I LOVE it!!! 

Pros

I always had time to give each their own attention and enjoy different stages.  While DD1 is at school, I was able to be with DD2 and have her have a lot of same experiences DD1 had.   They also play really well with eachother and the older one helps out with the younger one.  This morning, I slept in, and DD1 got DD2 breakfast and played with her.  I have to admit I was awake and just listening to all their activity. They are both girls, so that may make a difference in terms of playing together.  They will play littlest pets or dress up together.  But sometimes, they play Pokemon or swamp, or a number of other things.  DD1 basically is the director on what game will be played.

Cons

It is hard for me to volunteer at school with a little one at home, where if they were closer in age they would both be in school and I could volunteer more.  So now I swap sitting with other moms who have one at home and one at school. 

Certain activities are hard to do.  We wanted to kayak at La Jolla cove but DD2 is not old enough, so sometimes DD1 has to wait to do certain activities.   

DD1 has more fragile toys with little pieces, electronics etc, and DD2 has broken things before.  So I suggest making sure older kiddos have a personal space.  DD2 is not allowed in DD1s room without supervision. 

You start back at sqaure one.  So freedom from diapers, naps, etc all go away. 

Good luck with your decision.  I think going to three kids would be more of a transition than the age gap.  Again, we really love the age difference and if we had a third, we would have spaced them 5 years apart again.   HTH.

[NZJMama]

My two boys are 23 months apart. DD was born when #2 was 3y3m. The first year was a breeze with the bigger age gap and I LOVED it. My boys could entertain eachother while I took care of the baby and I was confident that they were safe. I could pop her in a sling and play with my boys the way we always did without the baby getting in the middle of everything. The second year has been a bit more challenging. I feel like I am always "dragging" DD to someone else's activities and it has been hard to keep her on a consistent schedule. Things like playgrounds and swimming are hard because she just isn't old enough to do everything, but she still wants to. My playtime with my boys is often interruped and it sometimes gets frustrating for everyone.  I anticipate that things will get easier in a year or two, but then I'm sure we will struggle with getting everyone where they need to be. In other words, I think that each stage will come with it's own challenges.

My boys are best friends, it is awesome to have them be so close, BUT that means that DD is often left out and I think that will always be the case to some degree. DD and DS#2 have really bonded and play well together when DS#1 is at school...now that she is a bit older. However, it is hard for my  almost 7yo to relate to an almost 2yo, so their relationship is okay at best. I don't know how much of that has to do with the gender differences, but for right now at least I think the age gap is the prime factor in that dynamic. I'm sure that will change as the years go by.

Overall, I love the way our family has worked out.  It was hard going back to diapers and naps, but all of that is so temporary. I wouldn't change a thing.

[Reebekah]

i have 3 boys....almost 2, almost 4, almost 6......they are all 22-23 months apart.  i am now pregnant with a girl.  for me, i decided to have them pretty close together to get the pregnancy and baby stuff "done and over with".....i cant imagine having to "start over again" in a few years.  it's very hard now....but i think it will be a lot easier in a few yrs when we dont have to worry about things like feedings and naps and diapers anymore.  we look forward to doing a lot of things you cant really do with a baby (at least not easily), like camping, traveling, etc.  going from 2 to 3 required us to buy a van, switch bedrooms around, stay in suites or condos only when traveling, etc.  now that we are having a girl, i need to buy a lot of things that i dont have bc i have all boys....shoes, headbands, clothes, etc.  i have also found that my infant carseat expired, so i need to get a new one.  and after 3 kids, some of my baby gear is in rough shape and needs replaced.  my grocery bill has also dramatically increased.....i  didnt notice it much at all while they were infants.....but now they are toddler/preschooler/kindergartener and eating regular meals, my grocery budget is out of control.  we had planned to send our kids to private school....but now that we will have 4 children it will not be affordable....so i am homeschooling.  i have also found that going places....like zoo, museums, amusement parks.....is very expensive with a family our size unless we buy an annual family pass.  just lots to think about!   

[MsBirdie]

Totally agree with the cost.  Diapers etc are cheap compared to braces, summer camp, and the grocery bill as they get older. 

That is one thing I forgot.  A lot of things I had for DD1 expired or were not in good condition with the 5 yr age gap.  However I know I could have never dealt with two in diapers and going thru the baby stage at the same time.  But that is just me.  :  )