Hi Ladies!
For all of you out there considering or determined to have a UC, congratulations. It is empowering, exhilarating and I am a firm believer of having healthier babies and easier births due to UC.
I was one who didn't receive any prenatal care or use a midwife; I found it pretty useless as I could weight myself, check my blood pressure I felt sense able enough to know if something felt wrong. I tracked his positioning and even knew that he was a boy!
I went into labor at 1 a.m. on July 18th of this year and had Tyson at 9:08 a.m. My partner was there and was supportive - there where times that I could not handle the intense contractions. I also had a c-section only a year and a half ago with my first son.
I checked dilation and was certain that I felt his head. I went to the bathroom and felt ready to push and scooted to the edge of the toilet; using it as a stool. I also used the bathtub and an actual stool to brace my feet so I had something to bear down on. Rubbing the outside of my vagina, I felt a large bulb and told my partner that the head was coming out, he was just about here! There was a loud bang and my amniotic sac literally exploded and the water covered the bathroom. His foot immediately came after wards. We were shocked, sure he was head first. I didn't panic right away, I knew that breech, vaginal births were totally possible.
The next foot came seconds later and he came out up to an inch above his belly button. This is where I panicked he wasn't coming any further and was stuck, I had my partner call the ambulance. Throughout the course of the call I was told to try different positions with my boyfriend pulling, pushing, prying and the baby had turned a deep shade of purple and was no longer moving when I tickled his foot. We were certain that he was dead by the time the ambulance had gotten there. The EMTs had me pushing and the guy had both of his hands in my birth canal trying to pull him out while I pushed. They tried for several minutes when a female EMS told them to get me to the hospital. They carried me down the stairs sin my comforter, while I held my baby up, still stuck. The man in the ambulance was trying to get his arms down, which was keeping him from coming him out, Tyson had his arms raised up so his shoulders were in the way. They had my push but I was exhausted and the pain from having the EMTs hands in there at the same time was excruciating, I had given up, I didn't see the use in it because I knew in my heart he was dead anyways. I give a huge push and feel terrible finally the EMT in the ambulance got his arms down and there was a huge release of pressure and I could feel Tyson Sliding out. I gave one massive push and I didn't release that one push till he was out, it felt like forever. He came out and they laid him at my feet, it was nice feeling his skin against mine but I could see he was still a very dark purple.
The man wouldn't tell me his condition and I pleaded with him to tell me if he was alive. Once I was in the hospital I was unable to see him as they rushed us both of into different directions. They removed my placenta and I asked to a pain reliever; I couldn't take it anymore and wanted the pain to go away. My boyfriend and family went to see Tyson and he wasn't breathing on his own, he was born dead, resuscitated, on a ventilator and in a coma. felt like it was all my fault, like I killed my baby and I was terrified that if he couldn't learn to breath on his own that he would die. All because I was stubborn.
The last day of my stay in the hospital he began breathing on his own. They had him on a cooling blanket to slow all his vitals down and keep his brain from swelling, he had numerous CAT scans and EEGs , seizure medication for unexplained involuntary movements and other medications to keep him from being in pain. Within the first week he stopped the movements and woke up. The second week he began moving fluidly, following people with his eyes, and smiling. He was being fed with an IV and they wouldn't use my breast milk for fear that I was trying to harm him. He passed his hearing the third week and upgraded to a tube down his nose, was put in a crib and taken off several monitors as well as using my breast milk after much persistence and having it screened. He is a month old and three days and still in the NICU, they took him to a new hospital to get surgery for a tube done after we had been begging the doctors to let him try to eat before doing it. They did a test and he did well, they failed at giving a good reason why they still wanted it but had already said they just wanted to get him out of there...it didn't seem fair to him. So at the new hospital they did another eval and decided to hold off on the surgery. The nurse fed him a bottle by mouth yesterday and he ate the whole thing, they are now feeding him as much as he will take by mouth and then the rest in his tube. It is hard work for him and makes him really tired because he didn't have a gag reflex for the first 2.5-3 weeks, couldn't protect his airways or cough. But he probably won't need the surgery now, time will tell.
It is also worth mentioning that CPS took our children away the day after I got home and placed them with family so that they could give us psychiatric and parental evaluations. They said what happened with Tyson was an extreme case of neglect and that due to the fact that we considered abortion and adoption that we did this on purpose. I tested positive for marijuana but the baby did not and that was also held against me, I have since then quit smoking. We can't see Tyson or our other two children without supervision and we should hopefully have them back in 3-4 weeks.
There is no feeling like the feeling of having a baby dangle halfway out of your vagina while you are certain that it is dead. There is no way to explain the guilt, terror, depression, anger and other emotions that we have gone through. Tyson might have brain damage but after being stuck for over 10 minutes and all the progress he has made as well as the brain's ability to regenerate and reroute it looks promising that he will lead a healthy and normal life.
I never thought prenatal care was needed and in many cases it isn't, only in rare instances do babies die or have complications. I didn't think it would happen to my family, I even thought he was head first but it was the amniotic sac. I stress that you get prenatal care just in case, make sure you KNOW it is safe to do on your own. Don't just guess or go on instinct, make sure, this has been so painful and I don't want it to happen to others. I would still have a home birth it was an amazing experience up until the foot came out and I encourage others not to be afraid but to be safe and protect themselves and their babies. Good luck!
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