trouble starting kindergarten

[JulieA]

My 5 year old son just started kindergarten (just completed his first week). He kicks and screams when it is time for him to go in the classroom. I have to run away while the teacher grabs a hold of him so he cannot run out. It's terrible for me. Then he spends the entire afternoon and evening telling me how he's not going to go the next day. When people ask him if he likes kindergarten he says he does.

My main issue is that I don't like using physical force to make him go in (nor do I like the teacher doing it). But I'm not sure how else to get him in the classroom. I've tried many things like letting him pick lunch, he carries a heart shaped stone around in his pocket that I gave him, special treats on the way home, etc., etc.

He just keeps saying he doesn't want to go and he will leave when I leave.

Does anybody have any tips on how to help him?

[Cynthia Mosher]

Moving this to Learning at School. :)

[Emmeline II]

Not sure if I'm over thinking this since I have a SN child, but it may be that he has a greater than typical level of anxiety that might be helped by some therapy.

It took us a long time to realize that when ds would "freeze" and not talk or make eye contact it was due to anxiety. If we ask him the right questions and get to the source of his anxiety he'll "snap" out of it.

[LynnS6]

Can you go 5-10 minutes early before the rest of the kids are there? You'd have to make sure the teacher is in the classroom or an aide. If they're ready, they can sit down with him in their lap and talk or read a book. You give him a quick kiss goodbye and leave. Don't drag it out. But if you can hand him over to someone in a caring fashion, it'd help you both. I'd also read books about starting kindergarten and separation anxiety. If it goes on more than a couple of weeks, I'd talk to the school counselor.

Ask the teacher afterwards how long he cries for and how his day has gone. If he only cries for a few minutes, then it's the separation, not the actual being there that's  hard. If he's unhappy most of the day, then you need to look at whether he's ready for kindergarten and whether this is the best educational fit for him.

[KCMichigan]

Originally Posted by LynnS6 

Can you go 5-10 minutes early before the rest of the kids are there? You'd have to make sure the teacher is in the classroom or an aide. If they're ready, they can sit down with him in their lap and talk or read a book. You give him a quick kiss goodbye and leave. Don't drag it out. But if you can hand him over to someone in a caring fashion, it'd help you both. I'd also read books about starting kindergarten and separation anxiety. If it goes on more than a couple of weeks, I'd talk to the school counselor.

Ask the teacher afterwards how long he cries for and how his day has gone. If he only cries for a few minutes, then it's the separation, not the actual being there that's  hard. If he's unhappy most of the day, then you need to look at whether he's ready for kindergarten and whether this is the best educational fit for him.

wonderful advice.

This is how we handle tears at preschool/PreK/K. Honestly some kiddos just dont like the actual 'change' part but enjoy school. Other times, it takes a week or two for a child to settle down into the rhythm. Sometimes a kiddo just is not ready to be away from home for that long.

[madskye]

Have you tried a bribe?  Pretty much the one and only time I used bribery as a technique was when DD started a new preschool at 3.5.  The first week she ran in and loved it--the second week she started very dramatic crying and clinging at dropoff.  It was so, so hard--I feel for you.  We had some quiet talks about at bedtime and one night I offered to bring her a surprize at pick up if she could go in the next morning with no tears.  I reminded her again in the morning.  It worked!   I just used little surprizes like special lollypop but just having that surprize seemed to give her something else to fixate on.  Also--I did this for a week and that was it--I wasn't on the hook for a surprize every day for the rest of the year.  Having the surprize seemed to just help her transition. 

I know bribery as a day in/day out technique is a bad idea, but I think sometimes you need to bring out every tool in your shed to get a problem solved!

[lauren]

Does the kindergarten teacher have some suggestions? S/he must have dealt with this before at some point.