At what age did you start potty training and how did you do it?

[Snapdragon]

Ds is 17 months and I am feeling ready to start trying to potty train him. ( I know people like to say potty learning but that sounds odd to me!! So I will stick with the phrase I am used to)

We actually tried EC from birth and he did great at it till 9 months or so but then refused.  So he has been regularly (cloth) diapered since then. I am having some success with peeing- if I take him outside or into the bathtub, and distract him with things, he will sometimes pee. He won't do it usually if I cue or ask him to pee! Poops, no way. He stopped being willing to be held over the toilet at 9 months and now just poops in his diaper.

Anyway- we have a little potty but he won't sit on it. He likes to climb and be moving. If I put him on the potty with no diaper he will not poop in it- won't even sit on it for more than a couple of seconds even with toys/books/ food/ distarction.

I haven't really done much else. So I am wondering if this is a good age to start trying to potty train him- but also how? We got a couple of potty learning type board books and he does seem quite interested in them when we read them! I feel like I am pretty much on track with it- and hope that he will get into it more as he gets older.

He is my first and only child, so it is all new.

So at what age did you start potty training your toddler, and any tips? Any potty recommendations that work better than others? Any other ideas or time frames of age readiness? Also- he likes to pee standing up ( I don't blame him) so I am not sure how I can get him to pee in the toilet! the bathtub or outside as I said work fine. I figure it will all come with age?

Edited by Snapdragon - 8/22/11 at 7:49pm

[lifeguard]

At that age we didn't do anything official. I noticed that ds had started to stay dry through his naps consistently & had a very heavy pee shortly after waking up in the morning so I started putting him on the potty for a couple minutes in the morning & after his nap with pretty good success. That is all we did for several months - didn't make a big deal about it but saved a few diapers & got him used to sitting on the potty. I was also able to start having him nap naked which I liked 'cause wearing a diaper all the time just seemed uncomfortable to me.

We didn't officially start potty training until 22 months & then it went fairly quickly - he was most definitely ready & we were even able to drop the night time diaper right away. I do think the months of sitting on the potty after sleeping helped the process.

[Snapdragon]

lifeguard- how did you get him to sit on the potty?! And did he pee sitting down? I also notice that ds will wake up dry and then have to pee. When I can I take him outside naked or diaper free right after the nap, or into the tub just standing up and playing with toys, and he will sometimes pee. but if I try to put him on the potty he won't sit on it.  How do you manage that aspect? I figure he is just not ready for it yet?

[crunchy_mommy]

DS will only sit on the IKEA potty... not any of the others he's tried. When he uses the big toilet, he kneels or crouches on the seat (facing the back) and aims. It works really well for him. We haven't mastered poops yet, he has a hard time sitting when he needs to go, and it takes him a while, so he's just not quite there yet, though I've gotten him to sit for a couple minutes by telling him a story about himself.

Based on my own experience with DS, I'd say your DS doesn't sound quite ready... We tried EC & DS was very resistant, but started sometimes peeing in the potty when offered around a year or so. By 2 he could tell us when he had to pee but he still wasn't ready because it was like an emotional block for him or something. Now he's 2.5 and in the last few weeks, he's really taken off. He is naked all the time at home & has very few pee accidents, though poop is another story, and adding clothes to the mix seems to throw him off, so I think we still have a few more weeks (months?) to go, but he's well on his way finally.

It was very clear for us when DS wasn't ready because he had breakdowns and was stressed out. So you can try it for a week or so & see how he reacts. It was also very clear when DS was ready to start working on it again -- he kept asking and when we took the potty back out, he just started peeing in it, pretty consistently, and it didn't really affect his mood the way it had in the past.

[Caitlin0919]

DD was 22 months when we started with PL. We started doing it because she was asking to have her diaper changed every single time she was wet. She would go to the bottom of the stairs(we always changed her upstairs in her room) and tug at her diaper and say, "P.U. stinky butt!" We figured if she was starting to feel uncomfortable being wet and was telling us she was wet, it was probably a good time to start. We bought her some potties(1 for each bathroom) that could either be small potties on their own or we could use the seat and put it on the toilet and the rest of the potty served as a step stool. We let her try both and she preferred to sit on the big toilet with a seat.

My MIL had given us a calendar she found at a rummage sale from like 1988 or something. It was one of those keepsake calendars with the stickers for milestones that you can put on the calendar, but it was for toddlers. We just used that calendar as her potty chart and bought new stickers that she picked out. We bought small stars for #1 and special stickers for #2. When we started, we would give her a small piece of candy every time she sat on the potty, whether she went or not. If she went, she got to put a sticker on her calendar and of course we would go crazy and clap for her and tell her what a big girl she was. We kept that up until she got more consistent and then we started giving candy only when she actually used the potty(she still got to put a sticker up each time) then when she was more consistent with peeing, she only got candy for #2.

It took about 9 months for her to be fully trained during the day, and she regressed a couple times in there, but she is now and she doesn't get candy or stickers or anything for using the toilet. She still wears a diaper at night because she doesn't wake up to go, but that will come with time. Our next step is teaching her how to wipe herself properly. We also bought the Elmo's Potty Time DVD because she loved Elmo at that time. We also bought Everyone Poops and an Usborne book about a princess using her potty. I don't know if any of those things helped or not, but they definitely didn't hurt.

The best advice I can give you is don't push it, be patient and let him lead the way. I got frustrated when DD regressed but I just let her lead and she eventually started wanting to use the potty on her own. I would offer throughout the day but if she said no, that was the end of it. When she was finally full trained, it was like she just woke up one day and decided she didn't want to wear a diaper anymore. We let her pick out her own underwear before she was fully trained as an incentive to start using the potty more and that seemed to help. She really wanted to wear her big girl panties and we told her she had to use the potty if she was going to wear them.

Good luck!

[BellyBean]

Your DS sounds a lot like my DD.  We started the after nap/morning potty thing around 16 months and it went fine for a few weeks but then she refused to sit on the potty anymore.  I didn't know what to do so I didn't push it.  At 19 months I decided to try again, but instead of putting her on the potty I let her decide when she needed to go.  I would dress her in a shirt and babylegs (bare bum) and took her potty into every room with us.  We had LOTS of accidents the first couple of days, but by day 3 she was really good and after 5 days there were no accidents.  She isn't a very verbal child, but she does know "pee pee" and "poo poo".  That's actually why I decided to try again, because she just learned those words.

At 21 months I decided to buy panties, and sure enough the first day we had a couple accidents, but then she was golden.  Today we took our first trip to the grocery store in panites!  I was obviously more worried than her :)  She did perfect!

If I had to do it again, I might just make the leap to panties right away instead of bare bum, just because it's one less step.  But the nice thing about being bare is she can take herself to the potty whenever she needs.  At 21.5 months, she just hasn't figured out how to pull up and down her panties and pants yet.  So everytime she needs to go she says "pee pee" and we go together.

Oh, and she has serious poop anxiety right now, so if she says poo poo I ask if she wants the potty or diaper...she always chooses diaper, but sometimes once she starts pushing I pull it off quick and sit her on the potty.  Another thing is we give 2 rasinets with each potty, poop or pee.  I was giving one, but my mom (who watches her a couple days a week) got her counting and she loves to show off her "two" treats to everyone including the dog!

[lifeguard]

I simply put ds on the potty (we used a cheap seat reducer on the regular toilet) after naps & in the morning. The times he fussed & didn't want to then we didn't. We really tried to keep it as low key as possible.

[amberskyfire]

I didn't wait for a specific age. Like everything else, I just watched DD and when I knew she was ready to start, I just *knew*. It was right after her 2nd birthday, maybe a couple of weeks after. She grasped the concept but didn't have any real desire to use the potty. She would now and then just for the novelty of it, but when playing, would rather just pee in her underwear or on the floor. I really felt like she was ready, she just needed the right incentive.

I went to the library and bought a potty video which she absolutely loved, but I didn't like it because it was loud and fast and obnoxious. (Potty Power) I went back and bought another video called "I Can Go Potty" and it was perfect. It's a very cute story with a little girl about six years old who tells the story of how her brother learned to use the potty. My daughter immediately took to the video of the other kids using the potty and then she started using it all the time with no coercion needed. After a couple of months, she wasn't even having night accidents anymore. I'd suggest the video, but I think different things work for different kids. I would suggest watching your LO and you might just know when the time is right and what to do to get started.

[skreader]

DD was about 22 months; DS was about 20 months. "They" say that boys often train later, but I think he was earlier because he had an older sibling to inspire him.

We had a potty video which was funny.

We had the potty easily accessible and hard-wood floors, so that helped too.

DD went bottomless; on the first morning we tried bottomless w/ DS, we learned that he should be in undies to encourage potty use.

Also we would not always wait for them to ask to use it, but if they hadn't "gone" for a while, would take thm to the bathroom & suggest that they go, whistle and/or run the faucet a bit to encourage.

When we used to change diapers we always gave them a book to hold and look at. When they learned to use the potty for poo I'd give them a book to look at.

[AndreaOlson]

We did what you did and started Elimination Communication at birth. DS is now 12 months and it's going well for us....I totally hear that yours didn't take to it but that doesn't mean that you can't re-introduce elements of EC to help with conventional toilet training. I know many parents who've done this with great success. You are actually starting PL a bit earlier than I've seen studies show, and I am rooting for you to start now! The avg age of potty independence in the US is now 3 years.

First, for DS liking to pee standing up, try to take him outdoors or, yes, do it in the tub! If he won't sit on the mini potty, try a potty reducer on your toilet. Find an older toddler who can show him how and where to pee and poo.

Here is an excerpt from my book that may have some tidbits for you...sorry it is so long but hope it will help someone PL a toddler :) I've bolded the sections that might apply more to your situation. I know you didn't ask for EC advice, but I think some of the below could really help.

"28 Tips for Starting EC Later"
The following steps share how to start EC as a Late Starter (5-12 months) or Early Start Potty Training with a heavy EC influence (12+ months):
1. Learn EC, no matter what age your baby is. You may have to modify some parts (keep reading the rest of this section for modifying tips). [you already learned it, perhaps a refresher?]
2. Decide whether you want to incorporate elements of EC part-time, occasionally, or full-time. Do as much as you can without adding unnecessary stress to your lives. Remember that potty learning at any age is inconvenient so it doesn’t come as a surprise. [this just references a commitment to potty learning activities, which you can make no matter what method you choose.]
3. Switch to cloth diapers or modified disposables immediately (at least part-time) if you use disposables. You can eventually try switching to tiny trainers or undies if you wish.

This change will provide you (& your baby) with information about when your baby is wet so you can change him immediately. It will also help you begin learning his patterns and signals. [you've got him in cloth already.]
4. Change diapers immediately upon soiling. Break the habit of letting your baby sit in wetness. Either time your diaper changes to happen more frequently or use a cloth diaper, held in place sumo-style, which will help you know immediately when baby is wet.
5. Do diaper-free time as often as you are comfortable and able. This allows your older baby to learn “Cause & Effect”...when I feel pressure, then I release, wet stuff comes out. It informs baby about pee/poo (which has been hidden thus far) and speeds learning. You will also learn his signals and natural timing this way. See: How To Do Diaper-free Observation Time."

6. Go for the easy catches first. At first, rely more on Generic Timing (times when babies commonly have to go). This gets baby and you used to what a “catch” feels like, building confidence. Examples: during diaper change, upon waking, after taking out of carrier, etc.
7. Mobile baby? Modify observation time by either doing it over a non-carpet surface, naked-bottomed, and watching closely; or, observe while wearing your baby in a baby carrier.
8. Wear your baby more often and try co-sleeping. The closer you are to your baby, the more signals you will catch on to, as well as the natural timing of his pottying needs. (This applies to both mobile and non-mobile babies.)
9. Be sure to write down your baby’s Signals (if any) and Natural Timing during your observation periods, no matter how you adapt the observation step. Having a visual record will help you get in tune. Learning natural timing based on feeding and waking is generally easier.

10. If you choose to use verbal language and sign language before, during, and after pottying, be consistent. Do not praise, simply reflect what you see.
11. Experiment with the Position, Cue, Environment, & even Receptacle. Be open, flexible & creative.
12. Have an “open door” policy in your family’s bathroom. Let your baby watch you potty and potty with you (I’m on mine, you’re on yours). Model where the pee/poo goes, but don’t make it a big deal.

13. Spend time around other children who use the potty, if possible - whether they have been EC'd or not. It is invaluable for older babies to see other babies (or young children) using the potty instead of a diaper.
14. Discover what helps your baby relax & focus on the potty. Sing potty songs, keep a bin of potty-only toys next to her potty, run water in the sink.

15. Get support. Visit the IPT Late Starters Yahoo! Group. Send these experienced folks your challenges and let the good advice flow.
16. Be patient and don’t expect immediate results. Don’t get frustrated if it takes a while to unlearn going in the diaper...it normally takes several months or more.
17. Don’t compare yourself with others. Enjoy your baby’s personal pace.
18. Be matter-of-fact about poo and pee. If you notice yourself showing disgust (or other negative emotions) around poo and bodily fluid messes associated with potty learning (an attitude that is learned through cleaning so many messy diapers), remind yourself that pottying is natural; everybody poops.

A disgusted reaction may rub off on your toddler, emerging as stubbornness or attempts at control.

Likewise, over-celebrating, oogling over how great he pooped, and even praising can be detrimental to his autonomous desires. Be matter-of-fact.
19. Avoid negative language, attitude, and stance. Remember, punishment, coercion, anger, and pressure are not part of EC. In fact, if a wise toddler picks up on these negative vibes, it could very well sabotage the whole learning process!
20. Success and order varies. You may have success with poo first, then pee much later; pee then poo; nighttime then daytime; day then night. Take it as it comes, in whichever order it works.
21. Delayed signals are normal for late-starting toddlers. If he tells you every time after he poos in his pants, don’t worry...this is common for late starters. He will eventually start telling you before.
22. Potty pauses commonly happen for late starters (although they can happen to any baby). Your child is directly in the middle of so much learning and development, and with illness, teething, travel, and other life changes, potty learning becomes pushed to the end of the list for them. It’s also a time for pushing limits, and potty pauses can be a result of your toddler’s desire to test things out a bit. Let him explore and trust him to learn. Be patient. (let me know if you want more info on Potty Pauses.)
23. Use “reflective language” & enlist an older baby’s help in clean-up. When your older baby has a miss in the home, state matter-of-factly, “You peed/pood on the living room floor. Pee/poo goes in the potty.” Then, enlist her help in cleaning it up and taking it to the bathroom. Be consistent with this. Do not punish; be gentle yet clear in your reflections of what happened...and what should happen.
24. Talk about things openly with your child, when they happen (matter-of-factly, where it goes, how it just went in an undesirable space, where pee/poo belongs, how it feels, his feelings around it, etc.). He can understand more than you think.
25. Trust your intuition as it develops. Notice thoughts, images, or sensations that lead you to a hunch that baby needs to go, and act on them.
26. Trust your baby’s growing intuition as it develops. As she learns about herself, she may want more and more control over the pottying process. Trust her to experiment and learn in her own way. If she insists that she doesn’t need to go, or that she can do it herself, listen and give that a chance to be. She will learn from trying to rely on herself.
27. Read books together about pottying with your older child.
28. Enlist the help of family and older children. Get everyone involved for a very connecting and rewarding family experience. Older children tend to have extra-sensitive intuition around when a baby needs to potty.

Again, I know that you didn't necessarily solicit advice about ECing a toddler...but I've seen many cases where parents of toddlers have had much success simply applying the principles of EC to conventional toilet training...it can help! I'm sure whatever you choose will be perfect for your situation, just wanted to remind you of what you've done with DS from the beginning. Windows open ALL THE TIME with babies...I look forward to hearing how it goes for you!

Hope this helps you!

Andrea & Kaiva 12 mos.

EC Simplified