babymoon- lots of cultures have a tradition of "pampering" (or "confining", it depends on how you look at it) a mom and new babe. Some traditions are very very rigid in what they allow or don't, while others are more relaxed. Often there is a period of around 40 days (interesting that this number crops up in cultures that are very different/isolated from each other) where mom and babe are treated differently than normal... often they are supposed to remain indoors, or eat only certain types of food, or refrain from certain activities, or whatnot. And their community more or less supports them (food, house work, etc) in this seclusion.
The "three days in the bed, three days on the bed, three days near the bed" is a better fit for most American families than a full on 40 days (there was an article in Mothering about babymoons that used that formula). Since there really aren't any firm "rules" it can be more or less whatever you like... the goal is to nurture yourself, recover physically and emotionally from the immediate stresses of pregnancy and birth, really get to know your babe, and ensure that breastfeeding is firmly established (if you're breastfeeding). I generally set up the bed and the table next to it with all sorts of comfy pillows and fun stuff... books (light hearted stuff and books of crafts, arts, organization, waldorf parenting), magazines (like Mothering, Living Crafts, MaryJane's Farm, SageWoman), and my laptop (I don't read the news or anything distressing during this time, but there are SO MANY wonderful and beautiful websites... Magic Onions and SouleMama and Rockin' Granola, Girl Genius and Hathor the Cowgoddess, and Confessions of a Pagan Soccer Mom, and Raising Olives, and...well... all the blogs and sites I never seem to have time to browse). I also have all my homeopathics and herbal remedies there on the side table, and some soft tissues, since I tend to be pretty emotional. DH brings me food/drink at regular intervals and does all the housework and older child entertaining so the only time I have to go downstairs is to use the bathroom... and DH holds the babe while I shower and sitz bath and pamper myself during that week. It's not boring... in fact, it's really relaxing and kind of fun.
I think that if I was faced with a more traditional or restrictive babymoon I'd enjoy it less (one of my friends married into a huge Indian family and within their particular group there are a lot of rules about what a new mom can/should do that took her by surprise when her first child was born... some traditions were really nurturing but others really bothered her and she had to "fight" a bit to assert her rights to her own child at times!). But overall I enjoy it... I usually wear comfy clothes (not jammies, but soft skirts or sweat pants with pretty/comfy nursing tops), create a nest of pillows, nap and nurse and watch the baby. Then the week is over and reality hits... Dh goes back to work and I'm alone for most of the day with four crazy kiddos, a bunch of animals, and all that! LOL
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Saw the midwife this morning and agreed to a VE (for those who missed my other update, my dad's heart condition is bringing him to the end of his journey and my MIL just got a cancer diagnosis that has her very rattled so while I generally think induction, and especially induction of a VBAC mom, is "not good", my midwives and I are considering an AROM induction if I have a strong Bishop's score). And kind of like I thought, there is NOTHING going on down there. LOL She said barely 1cm and so posterior it was a real challenge to even reach my cervix. We'll check again next week if I don't go on my own before that... but given that my other kiddos have been born well after 40 weeks I'm not really surprised that at 38 weeks there isn't much happening.
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Cathy- hope everything calms down and there are no more medical curveballs in your path. I bet you'll be able to knock the bp back down with food/drink/rest.
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The mold is gone! And the tile is almost done... we just need to grout it. So hopefully that will happen tonight and we'll be able to move everything back into the living room tomorrow. Huzzah!
Though my mom was here today and... I'm just dreading leaving the kiddos in her care while I'm at the hospital. We actually had no contact with her for a few years because she was so erratic with the children. :( She is very old school in terms of how she deals with children (a lot of hitting and shaming and the use of really inappropriate ethnic slurs that she considers "cute") and even in the hour or so that she was here she really crossed a lot of lines (called ds by an ethnic slur, when dd2 was crying over a bump she told her to "stop having a fit" and then "ignored" her till she stopped crying and apologized. Apologized? For getting a bump and crying? WTF?). I'm honestly scared of what she will do when she is unsupervised with the three kiddos for several hours. This is NOT a worry I need, but there it is. I'm sort of wondering if I can ask a friend to drop by for a "play date" or something... the real problem is my due date is more or less the first day of school here so while I could certainly have DH call someone if I was laboring during the day, they may not be able to come over, and if they did they probably wouldn't have their kiddo with them.
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wedding- I don't mind that the girls wont be at the reception... especially if they'd be the only kiddos! There will be a cider/donut reception sort of thing prior to the ceremony that everyone (children too) can attend (though that's another issue... it's a destination wedding, but with dd1's celiac we'll have to pack all her food for the weekend since the catering service doesn't offer gluten free meals and we can't be sure we'll be able to pick out safe foods). But it does make it a bit harder to enjoy the event!
), but she couldn't feel any scar tissue!! I have been super freaked out about it because during my c-section, I had 2 huge cervical lacerations (4cm and 5cm), and I have been worried about not being able to dilate all the way this time. But she said my cervix is smooth all the way around, and she didn't feel any scar tissue at all! Yay!
I'm so glad you are in the clear!
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