2 1/2 year old fights car seat and other transitions...

[LynnolaS]

I'm almost six months pregnant with a strong-willed 2 1/2 year old ds. Lately he refuses to get into his car seat when we're out and about, and fights other transitions as well. I get incredibly frustrated~ between the pregnancy hormones and just physically not being able to carry him or "force" him into his carseat, I feel pretty powerless over my toddler. Getting out and about for playdates and stuff has always been a lifesaver for me but I am finding myself dreading it now. This morning we had a fun playground playdate and were planning on driving to lunch to continue our time with friends but it took almost 25 minutes to get him to sit in his carseat. Any suggestions?  I know one thing I need to do is turn the carseat around so it's front-facing, but I'm not confident that will solve the problem. I've tried distractions with interesting objects, food, promising him we're going somewhere fun, etc. Please help~ this hormonal mama needs her time with other mama friends!!!

[lifeguard]

How do you approach transitions? I've been giving ds a 10 minute, then 5 minute, then 2 minute warning for every transition for well over a year now. Dh used to make fun of me for it 'cause "he doesn't understand" but it became a good habit for me & ds did learn that when I started with the warnings we were going to be doing something different. I don't give a 2 minute warning & then change my mind - in 2 minutes we ARE leaving. I have no qualms about picking him up kicking & screaming but it rarely, rarely comes to that 'cause he knows it won't stop the transition from happening.

For those times when I can sense he is feeling more oppositional or doesn't want to end the activity I give him two options with the same end: you can walk with mommy & hold my hand or I can carry you or you can wear the green ones or the blue ones. More than two options & he gets overwelmed but by having an option it gives him a little more control.

For the carseat: do you have him climb in on his own or do you lift him in? Ds really prefers to climb in now so that helps us. I also get him to "help" me do up the buckles (the buckles on ours are quite stiff so he truly cannot do it himself)

[LynnolaS]

Thanks for the response. I usually do similarly with the 5 minutes, 2 minutes, etc. but I'm going to try to be a bit more vigilant about it. I also give him choices, like you can hold my hand or I can carry you, but it doesn't seem to make a huge difference. I've got a strong-willed little guy and it seems like it's all a bit of a game for him~ he is definitely trying to test me, which I know is completely normal but is still frustrating at times.

Someone gave me a great suggestion which I am using with a bit of success~ to make a little treasure box of goodies-- trinkets, snacks, etc.-- and when he sits in his carseat he gets to pick something from the treasure box. I have a feeling I'm going to be spending quite a bit of money at the dollar store, but if it helps make these transitions a bit easier, it will be so worth it.

If anyone else has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them! Thanks again.

[T-man's Mama]

In one word: iPad. Seriously, this has made travel and transitions with my strong-willed toddler SO much easier. Save the trinket money at the dollar store and go big, you won't regret it. :)