Need help settling down for nap

[swd12422]

DS is 3.5, and still naps during the week. He will not nap if DH is home -- too much excitement, so on weekends I don't even try and DH usually occupies him a bit to give me a break. But during the week.... I need the break and he needs the sleep. He had dropped his nap about 6 months ago for a few weeks, then went back to it. (We changed the schedule and routine a bit, and he went back easily.)

Now it's a struggle again. He is back in preschool and has a really hard time unwinding. If he weren't so tired I would just drop it and forgo the struggle, but he is tired by late morning and sometimes seems ready to fall asleep in the car on the way home from preschool.

If I can get him to stop moving around, he is sound asleep within 3 minutes (yes, I check the clock b/c I am amazed at how fast it happens). He usually sleeps for 90 minutes or more (sometimes 2.5 hours). The trouble is getting him to stop moving.

I have tried having him alone in his bed, or alone in our bed, but if I leave him alone he will thrash around, sit up, roll around, and generally not rest. I lie down with him and hold his hand, and that was working great for awhile til he started just jerking my hand around with him wherever he moves. That would annoy me, and quiet time became not so quiet. Today was even worse: I had to YELL at him to stop moving. I told him several times that it was time to stop, but he just wouldn't/couldn't. When it was clear that I was angry, then he finally stopped, and was snoring in 2 minutes. That was over an hour ago, and he is still sound asleep.

So I know that he needs the rest/sleep, I know he won't settle on his own, and I certainly don't want to scream my son to sleep every day! (I have also tried skipping the nap and sending him to bed earlier... That does NOT work for him on so many levels!) How can I help him unwind in a more peaceful way??

ETA: clarification on when he's expected to nap
Edited by swd12422 - 8/22/11 at 7:19pm

[aparent]

  Maybe one of these would work:

1) Take a detour on the way home. I used to turn the heat on and close

all the windows except for a crack in the window by me (so I didn't sleep).

2) Does he likes books or could there be a story time? Maybe after

a little protein-laden snack and maybe that after a DH-created treasure

hunt.

3) Slow down time starting with painting, play dough, blocks, or anything

wherein he has to sit and focus. Then maybe books or being still.

4) Lie down together with glow-in-the-dark stars to look at on the ceiling.

5) Make a "fort" (man cave?) out of pillows, chairs or things that have

to be put back later for him to crawl into. Put books, toys or things in

it for him to lay on his back and explore because the fort doesn't have room

for much else. After the possible nap things have to be put back and

everything repeated the next day. Maybe DH could make the fort each

day and then disappear. Might need to have room for you to crawl into

for the final push to sleep.

6) A quiet tape of the rain in the jungle or the ocean by itself or when

he's in his tent (man cave) pretending he's by the ocean with you,

perhaps, describing the story of his jungle adventures.

7) Pretend to fall asleep yourself (maybe in fort) and maybe he'll curl up

with you after some protests. Maybe you're a known monster or tickle

monster that lures little boys to their naps.

8) Mini tactile dome (pitch dark room to navigate through furniture etc

that changes each day) that leads to the boy sleep cave.

[swd12422]

#7 (not in fort) is what we've been doing, and it has worked up until now. TV worked for awhile, then didn't. Even though he's completely still while the TV is on, it's too stimulating. I can try books, though...

Today went much better. We had a little chat beforehand about expectations and it seemed to work. Yesterday we had the same struggle, but then he slept for over 3 hours! If he were only sleeping for half an hour, I'd drop it and not fight him, but it seems so clear that he needs the rest.

[aparent]

 Sounds like he really needs those naps

and that things are improving.

[swd12422]

Last week did go well. Only a couple of days of struggle. Either I'm getting better at wearing him out, or he's realizing how much he needs the rest. At any rate, I'm going to keep all those tips in mind, b/c I'm sure we'll hit another road block at some point, and even if not, I love the fort/tactile dome ideas!

[tbone_kneegrabber]

Audio books? At bedtime we do books until ds falls asleep, but sometimes he requires more books than I can do. Especially when we are not at home (we are grandparents right now and it is so hard for him to fall asleep bc he knows they are upstairs)

Anyway audio books often work, last night he even suggested it! We have a few that he has listened to a bunch so that helps it lull him and not stimulate him.

[swd12422]

Ugh. Hit the road block I knew was coming... To be fair, it's a weekend, but we also had a terrible time on Thursday. We were out all morning at a new place (zoo) and he was worn out. But didn't fall asleep in the car, and couldn't settle down for quiet time. All I want is for him to rest for 30 minutes. If he falls asleep (and he always does if he stops moving for 2 minutes), great. If not, at least he's rested a bit. Thursday I kept re-setting the 30 minute clock and he finally fell asleep after 2.5 hours. It was so stressful for me I nearly started yelling. (I'm glad I didn't, b/c I tend to be a yeller, but still, I don't want the stress.)

Today is the same thing. We are supposed to go to a birthday party this afternoon and he is just not getting it. I'm so angry right now. I thought (after an hour and telling him he wouldn't go to the party if he didn't cooperate) that he had settled down and he just crashed into the wall. He's jumping the on the bed! I lost it.

Nothing has worked. If I can fall asleep and manage not to be awakened by his movements, he'll fall asleep. If I don't, then it's stress for me and no rest for him. Reading doesn't settle him down. Music doesn't work. He loves to play under the covers, but it's wild and stimulating and shrieky play. He cannot calm down. I'm in tears right now b/c I can't believe I am yelling at my kid for not resting. I'm so tired, and *I* need the rest and I'm not getting it.

I have thought about just skipping quiet time altogether to avoid the conflict, but he is not quite ready to give it up yet. When he sleeps, he sleeps for hours. If he doesn't sleep, he's a nightmare and DH gets home from work tired and short on patience and HE yells at DS. Either way, the kid is screwed.

[mio2323]

We are in the same place at my house.  My 3.9 year old DS just started pre-school and really needs the nap on the days he attends.  In the past, I was napping with him and my 1.9 year old other DS, but they have started egging each other on, getting sillier and sillier as the minutes go by.  Outside of the moment, it is pretty cute!  But I work nights and really really need the nap in the afternoon. 

We go to the playground after pre-school to get some more energy out.  We have the same before nap routine every single day, no variations.  We even have the same ritual when we get in bed (phrases I say to both of them, story I tell him, and special song I sing to both of them), but my older son has been having a harder time settling each time.  If his brother falls asleep, he might be able to chill long enough to get there himself.  If I have him nap alone in his room, he just plays the whole time, destroying his room in the process.  And if he doesn't nap, he is a misery all afternoon and it shows the next day.

So all of this to say, I can commiserate!

I had thought to try the books on tape, but does anyone have any idea how to get a mostly kid proof CD player for cheap?  We can't afford something that costs $50+, which is what I have seen online.  Consignment stores I have been to do not sell them.  Even an MP3 player is costly.

Hoping to see some more good ideas!!