Please help me decide on a reasonable due date.

[adoremybabe]

During July DH was gone on business for 16 days.  I thought that would have given me ample time to get through my fertile period. ….. I was wrong!

I forgot to memorize the first day of AF in July but May was the 5^th and June was the 6^th. I think that in July it started somewhere between the 2^nd and 4^th.

DH came home on the 22^nd which would have put me around 4 DPO and we spent some time together. Is it safe to assume that I conceived on the 23^rd? Based on our relations I know that I did not conceive at the beginning of ovulation.

If I base my due date off of the conception date it would be the 14^th and not the 11^th. Those extra days are important because with my second pregnancy I went a healthy 16 DPO. I don’t want this baby kicked out too early!

Thanks for reading through this!

Celia 

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

I think you need to get a dating ultrasound. You can't conceive on 4DPO.

[adoremybabe]

Can I concieve 2 or 3 DPO? Are you absolutely positive that it's not possible to conceive at 4 DPO? I'm asking sincerely.

It might sound bad but if I have a dating ultrasound and a 20 week ultrasound, we'd have to pay so much out of pocket. I suppose that I'll just have to discuss it with the doctor. 

[RosieL]

How important is it to get a dating ultrasound if you know your date +/- a week? (I ask from ignorance.) In your position I would call my MW (or one I was planning on interviewing/hiring) to ask her. I'd write down all you know about your last cycles so you have a record, and then probably try to analyze it. You may simply have ovulated a couple days later than you usually do.

[flavorfull1]

The thought is that an egg only lives about 24hrs after ovulation.  Sperm can live up to 5 days in a conducive environment.  Odds are you probably ovulated later than you expected and it was around the time of you and hubby having relations.  My take on it is that you probably ovulated later than you thought and that is how you caught the egg.  Good news is that gives you a couple of days to extend your babe's time inside 

[CarlyVHT]

I agree with the other posters - you can't conceive on 4DPO. I suspect you Od later than usual, and maybe conceived on O day on the 23rd. I wouldn't worry about a dating ultrasound. You conceived either on the 23rd or within 5 days after that (most likely within 0-3 days after that). They will date at your regular 20 week ultrasound and if it looks off then, they will schedule a second ultrasound at that time to compare and finalize dating.

It is POSSIBLE that you ovulated twice, but the second egg is still usually released within 24 hours of the first, which is why they say it is POSSIBLE to concieve as late as 3DPO but I have never heard of conceiving at 4DPO.

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

I think an accurate due date is the most important thing you can do to ensure a safe end of pregnancy. With my last pregnancy my EDD based on ovulation was 2 days later than my EDD based on last menstrual. 2 days, no big deal, right? Well, I went into labor naturally at 41+6 according to O or 42+1 according to LMP. Thankfully I was homebirthing so wasn't under too much pressure, but most medical practices treat 42+0 as the absolute latest you can go. Undoubtedly I would have been under extreme pressure to induce the day before I went into labor. Which would undoubtedly have led to the standard cascade of interventions and a c-section. As it is, I had a c-section due to a spectacularly bad presentation, but because I wasn't induced (and likely wouldn't have induced at 41+6) and was able to labor naturally, i could determine the cause of the c-section myself, feel great about my labor experience, and avoided postpartum depression.

It's often not that black and white, but I find that once you hit 40 weeks every single day counts. You really want to buy yourself as much time as you can.

If I had any doubt about my due date I would absolutely have gotten an ultrasound 2 weeks ago. Charting for the win!

[adoremybabe]

Thanks for all of your advice. I will take it into account. DH and I do believe that there is a great chance that I O'd later than normal. Why wasn't I charting? Well, we had been really really careful before this month and lets just say at the time missing eachother trumped our TTC plans :)

I didn't even know that I was pregnant 2 weeks ago so a dating ultrasound then was out of the question. 

I just reread my original post and found a mistake. With my second pregnancy I went 16 days past my due date. Luckily I had an OB that was willing to let me trust my body. I have a new doctor this time around and how he plans to deal with an overdue baby will greatly determine whether or not I stick with him.

Thanks again everyone!

[AbbieB]

I agree that ever day counts in the end if you want to avoid all of the pressure.

I do not believe that "They won't let you go past 42 weeks." is exactly accurate, you don't have to show up for an induction, but there will be awful and nasty pressure and you may face unwanted interventions if you go the hospital route. DD was 43 weeks exactly, delivered at home, but I was getting daily nasty calls from the backup hospital midwives, including being told I was killing my baby. that last week despite having passed a non stress test with flying colors at 42 weeks. Not what you want to hear when you are already anxious and trying to keep a peaceful mental attitude for labor.

Did you have any negative pregnancy tests before the positive? Any implantation spotting? Those date can help pin point when you conceived. I'm relying heavily on them since I ovulated at least 2 weeks later than usual (hence the "Surprise!") and my negative then positive tests back up my implantation day and my reasonable guess as to when I ovulated.

I'll give an example just in case it helps. My period was due 8/2 or 8/3 based on my usual cycle. I also had typical O fertility signs 10 days before and then what I thought were typical pre period fertility signs on the 8/1 and 8/2. I was so sure I was about to start my period I wore a pad 8/3 and 8/4. (This is why taking temps is really necessary if you are avoiding! I was not taking temps and only casually avoiding.) I've had 2 cycles in the last year or so go 6 weeks so I was not thinking "I'm pregnant." 8/16 I had implantation spotting, thought my period was starting. The next day my tooth paste tasted really bad and the light bulb went off. I tested every morning until I got a positive late at night 8/19. My other pregnancies followed this pattern. Implantation spotting and a positive 14 days post ovulation, never sooner. So I figure I ovulated on 8/3 or 8/4. The last time DH and I DTD was 7/31.

So now the interwebs know way to much about me.

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

I said 2 weeks ago as typically it's best to do dating ultrasounds around 6 weeks. The CNM practice I'm seeing for ultrasounds likes doing them at 8 weeks for this reason. I got them to hold off till 10.5 (fits better in my schedule).

[adoremybabe]

Thanks Abbie. DH and I did not DTD before my monthly and he was out of town before it was completely over. I had to have concieved from DTD on the 22nd. We are pretty sure that AF started on the 2nd but that isn't a certainty. I remember not worrying too much about it on the 4th of July and it had been a light period. I got my BFP on the 11th and the only symptom that I had at the time was crampiness for 2 weeks or so before then. I kept thinking that my period must be coming. I just assumed that it was going to be a bit late this month which wouldn't have concerned me. That's the reason why I tested so late.

I can't get into to see the doc for my first appointment until the 9th so I have a lot of time to think about it!

[RosieL]

How light of a period was it? Could that have been implantation and you actually a few more weeks along?

[adoremybabe]

Hmm... I've never experienced implantation bleeding but I had to wear tampons for it so I suspect that it was too heavy to be considered implantation bleeding.

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

A friend of mine had an entire period of implantation bleeding. Surprise pregnancy with minimal symptoms, went for a dating ultrasound at 8 weeks, and oops she was actually at 12. She felt a bit sad at basically missing the first trimester, but I think that sounds heavenly!

[adoremybabe]

Based upon how my first trimesters usually go I wouldn't mind skipping them! I'll just to wait until my first appointment to see what my doc suggests.