After three months, I think I am coming to terms with the fact that I might have PDD. I was on antidepressants before I got pregnant, so I know I'm prone to this. I'm in tears everyday and treat my boyfriend like crap. I'm finding it impossible to be nice to him and resent the fact that he can come home at the end of each day and have a drink or dod whatever he wants to chill out and I cant escape the way I'm feeling inside or do anything. I feel like he doesn't understand how I'm feeling at all and all we do now is fight b/c whenever I get mad he just thinks I'm crazy! I know the doctors will just want to put me on my zoloft and say to breastfeed on it but I don't feel right doing that. Would the baby be better on formula if it means I'll feel better? I am so torn as to what to do... I love my baby so much and just want to enjoy him w/o feeling overwhelmed by anxiety every day.
what to do for pdd?!
Yeah, I think it's really hard to avoid that anxiety for some of us. I saw that movie Marley about the dog, and there's a scene where the mom has a newborn and is sooo pissed at the dad and I related to it so much. I also think it's cool that she expressed it. I asked for help and silently seethed and it led to the end of my feelings for my husband. so definitely discuss it. I also recommend Anne Lamott's book about her newborn because that voiced me feelings and made me feel not so alone. I don't think it's so bad to try medication. I did feel so when I was in the midst of it and it is ironic how those things appear different when you are inside it versus outside. I think your peace is so valuable and I don't think that is a priority for a lot of us. Also, you mentioned he gets to relax whatever way. Not fair. You get to get out first. You get to run/walk whatever. Exercise helps a ton. Even psychiatrists will often ask you to start an exercise routine before going on antidepressants.
It might also be worth getting your thyroid checked as well as your vitamin D. Both can contribute to depression.
i've been on zoloft off and on for the past 3+ years. i did take it for awhile while i was bfing my 3rd child. he was over a year by then. i don't take it now b/c, personally, i don't like the idea of it. i may go back on something after my new babe is weaned but i'm expecting that won't be for about 3 years. that's just a personal preference of mine. i don't have any scientific reason for not taking it. i just don't like it. i feel like my depression is manageable most of the time. if i were feeling really bad, i would probably go back on it and definitely continue to bf.
i think your DP needs to step up and realize you need special treatment right now. he needs to help you find the time to take care of you. he needs to be supportive. tell him you need him right now. couples counseling may help him understand what's going on with you. it's really hard for people who've never experienced depression to understand it.
i hope you can find some peace.
For some women, breastfeeding makes their mood worse. If that is the case with you, that is an okay way to feel. Breastfeeding improves my mood, but the sleep deprivation from breastfeeding is hard on me so it's a tossup.
I'm sorry. I've been experiencing ppd since my birth too. I was crying every day and couldn't cope with anything. I didn't want to take anything for it either because I didn't want to expose my baby to any more meds after all the crap I ended up with during my birth. My Dh had depression pretty bad and was on al kinds of meds that made him feel dead so he went to a treatment center that used an alternative method to treat the problem. Using diet and vitamins he is off the meds and feeling great so he suggested I try that. I'm feeling sooo much better. I don't cry every day and I'm enjoying my baby. I'm still a little sad, but that's because I am very dissapointed in the outcome of my birth and I think that is going to take some time to come to terms with.
I guess what I'm saying that there are other alternatives to taking prescription drugs. Here is the info if you're interested. http://orthomolecular.org/resources/omns/v01n11.shtml
It is a lot of vitamins but I think we are so depleted after giving everything we have to those little babies during pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding that we need to replenish. I also think that if you can at least up your omega 3 that can help a ton.
Sorry to preach but it just helped me so much. Good luck!!