How do you handle your kids' close birthdays?

[amberskyfire]

#2 is due just a few days after DD's birthday. If any of you have kids with birthdays just a few days apart (or on the same day for twins!), how do you handle them? Mine will be 3 years apart and I never really thought it fair to have a double birthday party unless maybe the kids were twins and the same age and probably had the same friends. How do you make birthdays special for each child? Do they mind sharing birthdays or birthday parties?

[Imakcerka]

My friend has two kids about 3 yrs apart and they had double parties until they were 7 and 10.  I always enjoyed going to them because it brought every family member out and it was a big party.  Both kids definitely felt like it was an important event for both of them.  The oldest one told me recently that he only has parties that are just his friends now because he and his sister like different stuff.  Nothing was mentioned that he didn't want a party with her but that their likes changed. 

I don't think it's a terrible thing to do a joint party.  I imagine it would be easier on you as a parent. 

[pianojazzgirl]

My ds was due a few days after dd's b-day but came late, so his b-day is actually 2 wks after dd's b-day.  Like yours they are 3 years apart.  Although I suppose their b-days are close enough to do double b-days (and dh too - his is 1wk before dd's), we've always done individual parties.  It wouldn't have made such a difference for the first year (dd turned 4, ds turned 1), but beyond that dd had a lot of same-age (school) friends that she wanted to invite, and it wouldn't have really gelled with having a bunch of 2-3yos running around.  I find it hard enough to find party activities and favours to appeal to one age group/grade, yk.  Not to mention that I find having 2 smaller parties a lot easier to deal with than 1 bigger one.  If we had a bigger place I might feel differently I suppose.

ETA one thing we've done re. inviting family friends to our kids' parties is we tend to invite those with older kids to dd's parties and those with younger kids to ds's parties.  And we have a couple of families that we're close with that have 2 kids the same ages as our two so they get invited to both parties.  We have no relatives here, but if we did they would get invited to both parties. 

And I wouldn't rule out double parties either.  I think it depends on your kids' personalities.  Like the pp said it worked great for her friend until the kids were older.  I also think it depends on who your kids want to invite.  If they're mutual/family friends then why not have 1 big bash, but if it's a group of school friends it might work better as separate parties.

ETA again (LOL!)...  Something that just popped into my head...

My mom's little brother was born ON her 5th b-day.  No one did anything to celebrate her b-day that year.  Apparently getting a little brother was present enough (so not true according to my mom, lol).  I'm not sure if, in future years, they did joint or separate parties, but going on what my mom's said about resenting just that first b-day I can see how it could be important to make sure the older kid still always has their special day (doesn't have to be their actual b-day, but just a separate party).  For sure this doesn't apply to all kids, but for some it can cause life-long resentment!  (My mom: still bitter after 66 years!!!).  Bearing that in mind, I'd suss it out when the time comes and see how things are playing out with your dd and her new sibling to see if you'd rather play it safe and do 2 parties.

Edited by pianojazzgirl - 8/24/11 at 3:34pm

[mumkimum]

Chiming in more as someone who shares a birthday with a sibling --  my sister was born on my birthday but is 7 years younger than I.  

We never shared parties, but that's probably more the age difference (we had small parties with friends anyway) and were we closer in age maybe that would have made sense.  We had shared family celebrations but some years we did get to choose our own cake or whatever (sometimes I'd pick a special cookie or she'd pick a special ice cream, sometimes we'd share).  I personally think that's pretty key to being able to share a birthday well - having parts of your celebration that are individualized, but it doesn't mean everything has to be.

Regarding the PP with the story about her mom - I had a 'special' birthday celebration in the hospital when my sister was born, which I though was pretty cool.  So my parents obviously planned a bit about having something going on for me at the time (though I don't think I would have been the type to be bitter about it if they hadn't, I dunno , I do see how it could definitely start one out on a bad foot with sharing a birthday).  

[Honey693]

Mine have birthdays 11 days apart and DH's birthday is 9 days after that.  so we have 3 birthdays that month.  We might do a joint party, but on the actual day everyone gets their special cake (every in the house has a certain cake/frosting combo they get on their birthday), whatever they want for dinner and whatever fun stuff they want to do.

[colsxjack]

My Dad's birthday is 2 days before mine and my brothers birthday is 4 days after mine. He is 3 years older than me.

As a kid we only had parties a couple of times and they were separate. We always chose dinner on our birthdays and always had a cake.

When we did have a birthday party it was usually inviting 3 or 4 friends out for bowling or skating or something.

As a teen we shared a party a couple of times. But by then we had similar friends and interests.

Now, as adults, we have a larger joint family birthday. I have a nephew a day before my dad too.

And all of our birthdays are less than 2 weeks before xmas.

I say wait and see what the kids are like and what they would like to do. Maybe have a joint party on the weekend and a special dinner and cake on their actual birthdays.

For my family it was never a big deal. And I don't think there was ever any resentment.

[Zan&Zav]

Mine are 2 years and 4 days apart. I did joint parties until the oldest was in school and now I do seperate. I found with the joint parties the little guy would get more attention, (he was a micro preemie, lots of medical needs) and the big guy would kinda feel left out) Now he has his own big party with his friends from school on the Saturday closest to his birthday, and the little guy has his own party the saturday after, or on his actual birthday, whatever comes first. It's alot of work, and they are close enough in age that they have the samew interests, but I want them each to have their own special day.