Labor/Birth of #2: What to do with first child?

[Sweet.Bee]

This Sunday, I will be 20 weeks pregnant. When baby #2 arrives, our son will be 2 and 8 or 9 months. I'm guessing closer to 8, as last time I gave birth at 38 weeks, but you never know.

In any case, I'm wondering what to do with our son during labor. Grandparents/family are too far away to come watch him on short notice, and my husband would go crazy if his parents had to stay with us for weeks as we waited for this baby to be born. Also, labor last time was in the middle of the night and just over 2 hours long start to finish, so we'd really need a quick plan of attack.

What are our options? Even if we could bring him with us to the hospital, I'm not sure we'd want to, as I (selfishly) want my husband to focus on the screaming lady who's giving birth. 

Thanks for any ideas!

[SparklingGemini]

Can you hire a doula that also offers sibling care?

[dot1]

Ditto the doula... who could also possibly bring ds to hospital?  With preparation, and depending on his temperment it could possibly be a memorable experience that enhances sibling bonding.   Often doulas in training offer free services.  Or is there a friend or neighbourhood mom who can be on call for you to look after ds?  

[Sweet.Bee]

Thanks for your responses. 

I hadn't thought of a doula, but aren't they supposed to be there for the mother and not as a babysitter? I don't think they are very common in our area, and the estimated cost I found is 800-1000 Francs for one, sadly not covered by insurance. Also, are they so useful with a short labor? Mine was 2 hours last time (from first contraction), and by the time we made it into the birthing room, the baby's head was coming out.

There's a independent midwife birthing house nearby, so maybe that would be a similar option to having a doula?

I guess I should explain the birth model here. In hospitals here, labor is attended by a midwife, then the doctor comes in to essentially catch the baby and fix you up if there are any tears, etc. The birthing center is just midwives, and supposedly even more naturally-minded than the hospitals (which I think are pretty naturally-minded themselves).

In any case, I guess we need to talk to the hospital and birthing house to see their ideas/policies on bringing in siblings to the birth. The birthing center is not so busy as the hospital, so maybe they are more accommodating with this?

If anyone else had ideas, throw them at me. 

P.S. Our son's temperament is very active and curious (um, getting into all kinds of things he shouldn't touch), though he's relatively calm and cuddly when tired.

[Autumn Breeze]

A doula is definitely for the mother and father....not a babysitter. However, by hiring a doula you can let your husband be with your son, if you can't find a friend to watch babe.

But don't just give up on doulas yet!! I know they can be expensive, but call them, email them, talk to them. You might find one that works on a sliding scale, or one who needs births for certification purposes. A lot of new doulas work for much less, or even free, while working on obtaining the births they need to certify.

What about homebirth?

(((hugs))) Good luck!

[waluso]

In my area, there are lots of child doulas, whose job is to take care of the kids. I think they are generally less expensive and sometimes they are trained as both labor doulas and child doulas. The benefit is you would have someone who is used to being around births and knows how to keep your kids occupied/calm. Maybe you could ask some of the local doulas if anyone will work as a child doula?

[Abraisme]

Well, if it's in the middle of the night, you might not need any help..  Both of my kids have been born at night and my DS slept through it.  I did have my best friend at my last birth to look after my DS though (just in case).

For this birth, I plan on having my MIL stay with us around the time that I'm due.  Her job is to take care of the kids while I'm in labor and help around the house.  I think it's a good idea to have someone, whether a friend, doula or family member on call to help.