I finally was able to get a restraining order on my exh.He's an alcoholic,and would come to my house drunk,banging on the doors,screaming at me,would threaten me,try to break in,touch me inapropriatley,pass out and pee on my porch,and recently went after my dad with a big umbrella with a sharp point.He's homeless,but I gave the court the address of his nephew,and he was served there.I went to court yesterday,and surprisingly he showed up.I didn't speak to him,didn't even notice him until he said here when they called our names.It's hot here,and he was dressed in a thick leather jacket,and he just looked terrible.I noticed no one was sitting near him,so I'm sure he smelled bad too.I feel bad for him,but I cannot have him around us at all.After I took the stand and testified to what he has done,the judge asked him what he had to say.He said what I said was true.She asked him if he was seeking help.He said he was going to AA(he's said that many,many times before) and that he's on a waiting list for residential.I don't think he is,but whatever.So the judge asked me what I wanted to do.I said I wanted to extend the restraining order,so she did,for a year.
His nephew came by today,to tell me he kicked him out of his apartment.He came home from work,to find his door locked,and he heard the tv blaring.He knocked for 2 hours,then kicked his own door in.Exh was passed out on the floor,and had peed all over himself,his nephew's blanket,and the floor.Thankfully he wasn't on the bed!To top that off,he stole $10 of the rent money.I warned his nephew,but he thought he'd try to help exh.He's too far gone,the addiction has truly taken over. :(
So far he has not made any attempt to contact our dc.He has dd's cell phone number.So I don't know if he's going to try contacting my friend or something.I don't know how I would handle visits.I will not let him take them alone,he cannot come here,so maybe my dad could take the kids and meet him somewhere public,like the park.In our divorce agreement,I have full custody,but he has unlimited visitation,with the stipulation that he has not been drinking.I know dd,13yo,wants to see her daddy.Ds,10yo,doesn't seem to care.He says daddy's mean when he's drunk,and that he doesn't like him.I've explained to both dc that daddy is very sick,and that he needs to go into a place where he can live and they will help him.They are aware that he had a heart attack recently(at 36,he didn't even know it.the drs found scar tissue on an xray one of the many times the police took him to the hospital for being extremely drunk).Dd is afraid,as am I,that he could die.It's very sad.She is in therapy for this,and dealing with her autistic brother.Ds is in the process of another evaluation,so we can see what would be a good option for him.Exh can be such a good person,the man I married.It's just this addiction is so strong.
We have court again,on the 20th of September.This time for child support.Last time he was released after serving 30 days in prison for nonpayment(he hasn't paid in 3 years,and owes over $20,000).I'm afraid to take the bus,as he will be too.I have no other way of getting there,and no one to go with me.I don't know what I can do.I guess I can call the courts and see what I can do,if anything.
Thanks for reading.If you have any advice I'd love to hear it.I'm such a mess,I don't know what to feel,I feel just so numb.I just want to sleep or read,but I can't just do that,I have to take care of my dc,they need their mama more than ever right now.I'm afraid of ending up in the psych hospital again,and I CAN'T do that to my dc.I am in therapy,but she's having surgery and will be out for a few weeks.This really sucks.I can't even talk to my best friend,as she's going through hell right now(serious heart disease,diabeties,she got pulled over and lost her car due to no registration and insurance,her utilities are going to be shut off,can barely pay her rent and buy food,plus all the fines she's going to have for her car).I have her almost 7yo dd right now since she's having surgery tomorrow,so I don't want to bother her with this right now.I have no one else except my parents,who are hard to talk to. :(