I have an almost 3 month old and an almost 2 year old. I am at my wit's end. My newborn doesn't nap well (not even in a wrap or the ergo!) so I am constantly holding her while trying to feed, read to, play with the toddler. It's frustrating for her (and I totally understand!). I am desperate for my dh to come home from the moment he leaves for work. The toddler smells my desperation and seems to do exactly what she knows I don't want her to do just to see me cry (throw her lunch on the floor, yell in the baby's room just as she's falling asleep, put her toys in the dog's water bowl, etc). I don't really cry in front of her.
The baby won't even sit in a bouncer happily for more than 20 seconds. This leads to the toddler becoming increasingly demanding of me and then throwing a typical tantrum when I cannot oblige. It takes about 4-6hours to get the baby to sleep every night and by that time, I don't want to be anywhere near her. :( Sad but true. I don't feel like being an attachment parent...in this baby's case, it just doesn't work. I never imagined I'd have a baby who doesn't even want to be in a wrap with me. I feel very tempted to just give her a bottle of formula so I can just get the hell away from here for a day. (I can't pump while holding a newborn and fending a toddler off from pulling the cords out of the wall).
I remember feeling like each difficult stage was going to last forever back when dd1 was an infant and then I'd look back every few months and realize how short lived it really was and how things were already so different as she gained independence. I'm having trouble believing that'll be the case with these little ones since the newborn is SO high needs. My first daughter was this same way. Everyone I know had a MUCH easier second baby who slept so much better and I am still in shock that this baby is so difficult.
Did you have two high needs babies under 2, but they're now older and you're still alive? When did things start to get easier? How did you survive?