Suddenly Afraid of things?

[babygirlie]

My daughter is 28 months, dx pdd-nos (autism), non verbal etc.

So my dd who rarely acknowledges anything but the tv had some big break throughs (to us). Someone else may not notice and they are just here and there but somethings changing inside her. Like she didn't hate the pets but she didn't acknowledge them. Walked through them etc. several weeks ago she noticed we had a dog and cat and flapped away at them (flapping, standing on toes, and yelling at amazing volumes is how she expresses happiness). She actually tried to poke the dog in the eye and pet the cat. It was pretty awesome. Well, maybe not the eye poking which I rescued the dog from and she never tried again nor has she pet the cat lately. And then she saw herself in the mirror for the first time. I've had a large hanging mirror on the front of the bathroom door in hops she would see herself and hadn't until now. in other words she's starting to notice things in a way she never has before. Instead of rocking and staring blankly at the wall she might actually go yell at the dog and flap at her instead.

But now something new is occurring that I don't understand and it worries me. A few things actually.

Things she was showing interest in now scare the crud out of her. For instance, we've visited her grandma who has two small dogs before but this recent time she flapped and followed them around a little bit which is very unlike her and we were all so proud. Well a week or 2 ago she went back to grandmas to visit with her dad (first time without me). Her dad said when she saw the dogs this time she ran behind him and was scared.

The second incidence was with the vacuum. She has never had a fear of the vacuum ever. She would even stand right in front of it and let me bump her toes. She liked the headlight and was fascinated by it. At worse, it was no big deal. Now the vacuum sits in the hallway in complete view of the living room. It's not a big house so it's near almost IN the living room and very obvious. I went to vacuum last week and she ran behind me screaming clutching at me before I even turned it on. I held her for awhile then put her on the couch confused and then vacuumed where she flipped out and was stimming on the couch (rocking to put pressure on her chest). So I put the vacuum away and held her and she fell asleep. Ok maybe she was just tired. So I did it again tonight and I just brought the vacuum out to the middle of the room when she was having a real good time watching Kung fu panda, yelling a ton and hopping, air conditioner was blasting as always near as loud as a vacuum. I didn't turn it on btu called her over. Of courseshe ignored me because she doesn't know her name yet but eventually she saw me and walked to me and saw the vacuum and got real quiet and climbed into my arms clutching me like we were in hell. I couldn't unlatch her with a tire iron and she started to cry. dh knew what I was doing and came and held her while I vacuumed fast and put it away fast.

This is when she cries she gags and then she throws up. dh growled at me like I'm the worst mom ever and the fact she started gagging on him. I took her back and it took her a good 30 minutes to calm down whipping around to glare at the vacuum in the hallway exactly where it's been this whole time.

I just don't get it. She has no problems in the past with loud noises or animals. nothing bad that I've seen has happened to her and 'm always with her. The a/c roars and she loves standing in front of it. dh is practically def so the tv is loud when he's around. Actually one of the things that really worried me in the beginning when she was 1 was that an m-80 went off pretty close to us and she didn't flinch. I flinched! these things are like bombs. they're horrible.

When I took her to the petting zoo she only stared at the light bulbs. She adores lightbulbs and the vacuum has a headlight she liked before. However she doesn't like fireworks. lights are awesome. She LOVES the glow in the dark dancers on America's got talent. Bombs ok... together...  not ok. (unless it's the dancing glow people so i guess there's music)

The last two times we've gone to rehab she has had fits.. enough that the teacher asked me if I wanted to come back :(

I'm worried. I don't understand what's going on.

The other thing.. she's starting to have rages. I caught her dumping the water bowl over and I didn't even yell at her. I mean she must have some understanding that she did something wrong by her reaction? All i said was oh dear we don't do that and put the bowl back and she stiffened up and her fists were clenched and she started screaming like a banshee. Her face turned red it was squeezed so tight. I was actually worried she was having a seizure or something. I was too scare to be mad at the water all over the floor. I was trying to ask her if she was ok when her dad woke up and walked out which immediately changed the channel in her brain and she went to the bedroom and went to bed. She doesn't bite too much now but these rage issues scare me because I know I had rage when I was a child also and I know how bad it can be. though I'm not sure if mine was hormonal or from abuse or something else. I don't want her to go that route. I don't want to be one of those parents on the news killed by their kid. I don't know how much she will grow to love me and while people say they can tell she knows who I am I have my doubts. I get tired of people blowing sunshine my way when I want people to just tell the truth.

If you reads through thank you.

Can anyone empathize or tell me what's going on and what I should be doing. I get so depressed she doesn't seem to be progressing. Like that week of ah ha moments was she sort of drew a line (she never saw lines before. it was weird.)and now we can't get her to do it again. It's getting hard to be excited over things she ends up not getting after all.

[Emmeline II]

My ds has ADHD/SPD and possibly Asperger's (diagnosis is up in the air at this point), my dd seems NT so far (7, 5); Ds is in a regular classroom and seems to "blend-in" more so than in the past.

They both went through stages where they were suddenly afraid of things, and "overreacting" to even gentle negatives. When ds was an infant and keeping us up to 3am we watched the entire series of Band of Brothers and it didn't bother him; he was the baby who could sleep through anything. The sensitivity to noises came later, probably around 2ish--in Kindergarten he literally climbed a wall to get away from the fire drill alarm. He didn't like fireworks at that age either. He also suddenly become afraid of the vacuum for a couple of years

Around 2yo ds also started having bad tantrums and they got progressively worse--and there was a point where giving him any negative response resulted in a similar reaction to your dd. For him, the ADHD medication dramatically scaled down the intensity and duration of his tantrums and "freezes" (no eye contact or communication)--during 1st grade they got progressively shorter, until they would pass in less than a minute. We had to learn to ask the right questions to get the source of what was making him angry or anxious and kind of "talk him down from the ledge" emotionally.

So it may be a combination of what is common for her age, sensory issues, and the Autism. Though I don't have any practical advice for your particular situation, I think you are on the right track with the 'changing the channel in her brain' thing. When ds would have one of his rages I used to straddle him to keep him from flailing, then just start this stream of consciousness monologue that would eventually "bump" him from his "channel," but only when he was ready--his big tantrums lasted about 40 minutes.

When ds was in K and unmedicated I came across a couple of studies of Autistic children who were given a trial of Magnesium and Vitamin B6--half the children in the studies showed behavior improvements with that combo. When I tried it with ds, it took the edge of his hyperactivity so he wasn't literally running around the room at school.

A lot of ADHD parents also try fish oil supplements and a decent number seem to get some positive result. Ds won't take oil, but I give him the Dr. Sears Omega-3 DHA chews which seem to help his behavior slightly.

[naturemomma13]

My son does not yet have a diagnosis-- he is just about 22 months-- though I expect him to have one possibly as soon as next week.  We think it will be pdd-nos leading to Asperger's, but he also has a lot of sensory issues.

Especially with the vacuum so I can absolutely empathize.  He is terrified of it in a way that we think he believes it is alive and could attack anyone or anything at any moment.  He clings to us for dear life, will not come into a house or room where vacuum is visible, and is even afraid of toy vacuums.

Anyway, we are still at the beginning end of working on his issues with it, but our EI family plan was this past Monday, and they gave us some ideas--

1. We are to talk about it (if we say the word, he also freaks out-- it became the "v" word at our meeting...) before it happens and explain it cleans.  I already did this.

2. We can offer for him to go upstairs and play in his room, but make sure that his room is open so he can still hear what is going on.  Gradually work on having him closer to what is happening

OR

2. Have him sit with soundproof earphones to watch what the vacuum does so that he understands other than the noise, it is not scary.  Gradually work on having him take off the earphones...

I think it will be a long road for us and the vacuum.  But this is at least our starting place for getting somewhere.

I also empathize about tantrums... for awhile I thought my son was just not having many & he was sort of typical for his age with them, but he has had quite a few in the past weeks, and last evening he had a 1.5 hour tantrum before dinner.  He isn't violent, but he is just gone & then it is like a button pushed & he started smiling again... It was heartbreaking to try and help him and see him so out of it.  Hugs to you, Momma!!

[LynnS6]

Both my children went through periods like this during their toddlerhood -- with my child who has Sensory Processing Disorder it was much more pronounced and longer lasting. We went from enjoying the bath one night to being terrified the next. I think we went 2 years without vacuuming while he was home (our carpets have never really recovered!).

So, I think it's partly development -- she's starting to remember things and she remembers her reaction to them, and she's starting to notice them. The other part, I think is the sensory part that probably goes along with the ASD -- she doesn't have good mechanisms for self-regulation. My neurotypical (NT) child is much better about this, but even she goes through periods of anxiety. (But then, anxiety runs in the family, so I wonder how much of it is genetic and how much is developmental.)