PPD/PPA/Baby blues

[copper.kettle]

I thought I'd start a thread to watch out for signs of PPD, PPA, and baby blues.  With my last baby, I got a pretty bad case of post partum anxiety, and it went untreated because I pretty much refused any help while it was going on.  In hindsight, I really should have gotten on some meds.  This time DH and I are both being really vigilant, and if I start feeling anything like I did last time, I'm going to get treated asap.  So far (knock on wood), my mood has been MUCH more stable.  I have days when I'm weepy, but I don't think it's gone further than some hormonal/baby blues type stuff at this point.  Honestly, when I'm sad, it's mostly about my older DS.  I just miss him so much; I miss our routines, and how much time we were able to spend together before the baby, and how everything has changed.  I'm hoping that sadness will fade as we find our new routines and I feel better physically.

Anyone else on the look out for PPD?  Anyone else feeling poorly and not sure if it's normal?  Speak up! 

I was dying for someone to listen to me and say "that sounds like it's more than just 'new mom' anxiety".  I had no idea how to reach out.  SO!  If you're feeling bad, and deep down it feels like more than normal, tell someone

[Italiamom]

I had a really rough time with DH going back to work.  We didn't even get a full week, and so I spent my whole "recovery week" in a state of complete anxiety about DH returning to work.  I'm feeling a lot better this week, although I've been having my moments (and hours).  At this point I'm just trying to watch myself and my mood, and if things shift to being more bad than good, then I'll have to reevaluate.

[CrazyCatLady]

No ppd or anything like that.  Luckily I've been really lucky with that in the past.  I do have a history of depression and anxiety while pregnant though, so I keep my eye out for ppd.  Apparently I'm at extra risk for it.  So far so good though.

Tuesday my dp left to go on tour.  He will be gone for a long time and it is bumming me out.  I am alone in the apartment with the baby (who still seems so extra fragile) and it's kind of sad.  I like having no one to dress up or keep the place spotless for.  But I also wish that somebody was here to go shopping and do stuff like that for me.  I was married and/or lived closer to my mom after my other births and being alone this time is just not the same.  I see now how all those isolated new moms get ppd.  I miss my community.

[cat13]

Thanks for starting this thread. How do you know the difference between baby blues and PPD? I feel like every evening starting from about 8pm-2am I get really emotional and overwhelmed with everything and just start crying. Especially when I start nursing, since the pain I've been having with this thrush (ack! a whole other thread) is more intense in the evenings for some reason and it just triggers my tears and emotions. During the day I am so much more myself.  Last night was a bit better, because I set up my nightstand for a more entertaining sleepless evening... yummy drink, watching Buffy on the ipad, more pillows. I just tried to resign myself to the cranky feeling, instead of trying to fight it off. We'll see how I feel tonight. According to the baby books, I must have colic since it's always at the "witching hour."  

[Italiamom]

I'd say if you spend a good part of your day feeling sad, or overwhelmed, then it's a good indicator of PPD.  That's NOT to say that you can't feel sad or overwhelmed frequently in those early weeks -- I think that's normal.  But if more of your day is down than up, then that's probably PPD (vs. just baby blues).  Cat, with you I would say to wait until the thrush is resolved.  Nursing emotions are big emotions, and thrush is a hard one to deal with in the best of times.

And obviously, if you're having thoughts of hurting yourself or your baby, even if they're "just thoughts," then you'd want to seek quick professional help for PPD.  Those are two big warning signs.

[Tamera]

I started having symptoms around the time I began the third trimester. I started taking an antidepressant in late May and I've felt better ever since. I'll probably continue for several months and try to wean myself from it eventually. I don't like taking medication especially when I'm passing it to my baby, but I really need it right now in order to be a sane mommy for all 3 of my kids.

[nald1]

thank you for starting this thread- i haven't had my baby yet (and that's depressing enough in itself!).  I have been pretty depressed/anxious this whole pregnancy.  I felt great last time but had a tough time postpartum.  So, Im worried about how ill be this time and already discussing options for supplements with my chiro - i guess I dont know enough about antidepressants and nursing.  Last time Idid go on something one year postpartum- and my daughter had just stopped nursing then...

[Italiamom]

Originally Posted by nald1 

So, Im worried about how ill be this time and already discussing options for supplements with my chiro - i guess I dont know enough about antidepressants and nursing.

This page from kellymom has a lot of really great info about traditional anti-depressants and nursing.  There are several anti-depressants that have tested undetectable in the blood plasma of some nursing infants.  But it's a good place to start if you're looking for solid information about traditional anti-depressants and breastfeeding.

http://kellymom.com/health/meds/antidepressants-hale10-02.html

I think Tamera said it really well though -- being a kind, sane mommy absolutely trumps the minor concerns of breastfeeding while on anti-depressants.  At least in my opinion!

[copper.kettle]

Cat13, it is hard to tell the difference sometimes, which is why so many people who really need treatment don't get any.  When I was suffering with PPA, deep down I knew it was more than "normal".  I wasn't enjoying the infant stage, and was just looking forward to baby getting older.  It felt like a very dark time.  It was more than just feeling overwhelmed sometimes.

[SouthernStormy]

Just wondering how long the "baby blues" lasted for those of you who got them? Everything I've read says they generally go away on day 10.

I don't *think* I'm suffering from PPD right now. I tend to lean toward it just being the baby blues combined with extremely sucky circumstances that are bumming me out (having to have a csection; not being successful at nursing, a DH leaving in exactly a month, and realizing I'm going to be all alone in an apartment with a newborn and nowhere to go but places within walking distance (which isn't anything but a grocery store, a walmart, and a few crappy fast food places) and no friends around for at least 6 weeks.

[katiemaeeee]

Southern Stormy, I just read your birth story and wanted to reiterate what others have already said about what a wonderful and strong Mama you are! You've done so amazingly!

Although I didn't have a C-Section, our birth did not go at all how I had hoped, and I have certainly been grieving about it. We're using a nipple shield for nursing, and I still feel inadequate as a Mama. The only thing I am sure of is how much I love, love, love this little baby. Its our first. We just moved this week about 25 miles from where we were living. For me, I know that right now the stress, sadness and tears I have been experiencing is circumstantial. At least today, I believe this to be circumstantial, not clinical. That is not to say it can't change tomorrow.

For me, I have a history of depression. And I am trying to be very cautious. One of my big fears about having children was PPD. But, for me, in the past, when I was really depressed and needed help I knew it. Deep down I recognized it every time. And antidepressants are one form of treatment, but there are alternatives. I think the most important part of this conversation is making sure I know when and HOW to ASK FOR HELP. And, remembering that asking for help is a huge part of being a good Mama!

I heart this DDC for being such a source of strength and inspiration!! :)

[Beckily]

Originally Posted by SouthernStormy 

Just wondering how long the "baby blues" lasted for those of you who got them? Everything I've read says they generally go away on day 10.

I don't *think* I'm suffering from PPD right now. I tend to lean toward it just being the baby blues combined with extremely sucky circumstances that are bumming me out (having to have a csection; not being successful at nursing, a DH leaving in exactly a month, and realizing I'm going to be all alone in an apartment with a newborn and nowhere to go but places within walking distance (which isn't anything but a grocery store, a walmart, and a few crappy fast food places) and no friends around for at least 6 weeks.

I think yours is circumstantial. My milk didn't come in for 5 days and Charlie lost way too much weight. They sent me home with a pump and I was to feed him as much milk as I could, but in a syringe thing so it was measureable. I couldn't pump milk. We tried and tried and got so little that it wasn't worth it. I spent that whole day just crying. I was like you - I had this great birth plan, but had a c-section. And then I was unable to feed my son. It's awful. We bought this great organic formula made from milk from the Co-Op, but then we got my boobs to work. I just couldn't use that pump. The manual one worked amazingly well - so maybe try other pumps? That one's only like $30.

In our little subset world, we tend to go for the ideals - home birth, no interventions, dreamy breastfeeding.. and that's wonderful. Those are the ideals. But we have to remember that they don't always work. I wouldn't be alive today without c-section. My mom would've died with my brother. My baby could not have been born vaginally. Not all moms make enough milk. And we have these wonderful things that fill in those gaps. You can still hold your baby to your breast, and interact with love while you feed her from a bottle. She will be okay.

The isolation you're about to face sucks. Please take care during that time and use us mightily. Is there a park nearby at least? Somewhere grassy that you can pretend is a park?

We are all rooting for you :)

[FischK]

Joining in this thread since I'm at high risk for PPD myself. 

Stormy, it's probably too early to tell, but based on your list of issues surrounding the birth and the social factors you mention, it would be good for you to stay on the alert and to discuss PPD w/ DH and friends now to make sure that they're on the lookout, too. My rule of thumb is that if you do not start feeling better w/in 10-14 days and you feel very much unlike yourself, then you should get help. Don't feel bad about it. 

[copper.kettle]

Stormy, I think the baby blues can probably last longer than 10 days for some people; I'd be hesitant to put such a finite timeline on it.  PPD/PPA feels different way deep down.  I've had days this time around where I'm weepy, but I don't feel really *bad*.  When I had PPA, I felt really *bad*; really uncomfortable, hopeless at times, desperate at times, that kind of thing.  This time, I don't feel any of those feelings, and when I'm weepy, it's just that I'm a little bit sad about something, but it's not a deep down in my core terrible feeling... it's pretty superficial if that makes sense.  Not that the sadness isn't real or valid, it's just not all consuming like the PPA was.  Does that make sense?  I also want to say that you have a lot going on re: circumstances, but those are all very valid reasons to feel depressed, too.  Being depressed about those things isn't less worthy of attention or treatment.  Isolation and grief (about nursing and birth) can easily affect your mood in a very real way and that deserves attention and or treatment just as much as a chemical depression.  Many people are treated for depression short term just when they are having a tough time in their lives wrt circumstances. 

[katiemaeeee]

Copper Kettle - Thanks and Very good point: 

I also want to say that you have a lot going on re: circumstances, but those are all very valid reasons to feel depressed, too.  Being depressed about those things isn't less worthy of attention or treatment.  Isolation and grief (about nursing and birth) can easily affect your mood in a very real way and that deserves attention and or treatment just as much as a chemical depression.  Many people are treated for depression short term just when they are having a tough time in their lives wrt circumstances.

*Sigh* For me, I am overall doing very well. But, I think I have cried more in the three weeks since DD's birth than ever before in my life. I feel normal and even more positive and optimistic than usual. But, the sensitivity and crying is so new to me. I am thinking it is still hormones, maybe? I have never, ever been a crier and was on Depo for years before this pregnancy so I never even got PMS and I am not used to this. Anybody else dealing with this?

[cat13]

Originally Posted by katiemaeeee 

Copper Kettle - Thanks and Very good point: 

I also want to say that you have a lot going on re: circumstances, but those are all very valid reasons to feel depressed, too.  Being depressed about those things isn't less worthy of attention or treatment.  Isolation and grief (about nursing and birth) can easily affect your mood in a very real way and that deserves attention and or treatment just as much as a chemical depression.  Many people are treated for depression short term just when they are having a tough time in their lives wrt circumstances.

*Sigh* For me, I am overall doing very well. But, I think I have cried more in the three weeks since DD's birth than ever before in my life. I feel normal and even more positive and optimistic than usual. But, the sensitivity and crying is so new to me. I am thinking it is still hormones, maybe? I have never, ever been a crier and was on Depo for years before this pregnancy so I never even got PMS and I am not used to this. Anybody else dealing with this?

I'm in the same boat. I hardly ever cry... maybe only a few times during my pregnancy even. My eyes would glisten when I'd hear something heart warming, but never really crying, yet now I'm crying a ton. Actually, it's not all the time. Like you, I feel good about 90% of the time, but when I get frustrated (usually about bfing... pain, bad latch, thrush, now mastitis, etc) I start to cry and just feel like a horrible mother. Then it passes and the problems that seemed so huge aren't that bad anymore. The thing that's helped me is knowing that it's getting less often as time goes by (I'm about 3.5 weeks pp now), so as long as that trend keeps going, I'm just trying to go with the flow. Funny thing is that when I get weepy, my milk starts flowing like crazy, so maybe it's a good thing that we mamas get so emotional?

[FischK]

I can cry easily normally; it helps me express some emotions that I can otherwise not get out easily, but the last few days have been beyond belief in terms of crying. Normally, when I cry I don't bawl my eyes out and I actually can stop fairly easily. Anyway, after last night, I worked up the courage to call my OB and tell her I need to go back on Zoloft. As a part-time single parent, I cannot let myself disintegrate again.I hate doing this, but I think it was for the best. Strangely I feel already better. Maybe my biggest fear was getting PPD again?

[katiemaeeee]

FischK - Yay for knowing yourself well and being brave enough to take the next step! I know exactly what you mean about feeling better just by acknowledging the problem and deciding on a possible solution!!

My DP works 12 - 14 hour days six days a week and has an hour commute lately, so I am also starting to feel like a single parent sometimes and I am feeling pretty isolated. And lonely, really. So, this week I've been reaching out and asking friends and family to come over every day, and that seems to really make a difference for me. It motivates me to clean up and gives my day a tiny bit of structure.

[FischK]

katiemaee, I'm so sorry you're feeling lonely and isolated after your move. Good that you're reaching out to family and friends, though!