Pregnancy Anxiety/ Wanting to Escape

[adorabelle]

So I'm pregnant with my first baby, and I'm struggling with a gender preference.  I have a super strong gender preference, to the point where it makes me sick to my stomach when someone says I'm having the opposite gender/ refers to the baby as such.  We aren't planning on finding out the gender until the birth, but I'm wondering if it would be better to find out before hand.  Then I worry that if I found out it's the opposite gender of what I want, that I won't enjoy the rest of my pregnancy. 

*sigh* Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful I am pregnant and I really wish I didn't feel this way, but I can't help it. 

What should I do?

I also have this strong desire to move back to Colorado where we used to live.  I grew up in Michigan, and my whole family is there, but it is definitely not a good idea to move there due to the economy and such.  I don't think I would be as happy there.  I love Colorado and all I can think about is moving back.  We own a house here with some property, and it's perfect for us.  We can afford it, and I'm planning on staying at home once the baby is born, which might be hard if we were in Colorado.  I am bored now where we live and miss hiking and all the beautiful outdoors of Colorado. 

I wish I didn't have anxiety.  I need to learn how to help myself deal with all this better.  I hate that it's probably affecting my poor innocent baby.

[Harmony08]

I think you should find out the gender and name the baby so you have time to bond before birth if it is the gender you don't prefer.  I had a friend in a similar situation and she didn't find out before the birth.  She had a hard time bonding with the baby because she was so disappointed. Just my opinion.

Good luck and congratulations!  Your baby is your baby whatever the gender.  It won't really matter.

[goodygumdrops]

I think it might be a good idea to talk to a therapist about these concerns.  It sounds like your really struggling and it might be good to clarify why you have such strong feeling about either sex before your baby is born. 

[IwannaBanRN]

Ummmmm....you need to find out the sex before you have it so you can enjoy whatever you get from the get go as soon as baby comes out. If you have that bad of stigma to the sex that you don't prefer, it's essential that you find out well before the baby comes. It doesn't make you a bad mother if you need to get used to the gender, but you need to allow that time.

[Mom31]

I second the idea to talk to a therapist. I think you need to work on some issues before the baby comes. I wish I had.... my kids are 8 and 5 now and I wish I had started therapy before or during my pgs. For my kids sake and mine. I am in therapy now and it is helping.

[Caneel]

Originally Posted by goodygumdrops 

I think it might be a good idea to talk to a therapist about these concerns.  It sounds like your really struggling and it might be good to clarify why you have such strong feeling about either sex before your baby is born. 

I agree.  I also agree with others who say find out the gender prior to birth.

I had a very strong preference about gender that related to family issues.  I thought if we have a girl, problems X, Y and Z will be completely avoided.    Add to that the fact that I was absolutely convinced my baby was a girl.  I was stunned into silence when I learned it was a boy.  I got over it pretty quickly (we found out the sex at the ultrasound) and moved on. 

The thing is, none of my "boy" worries came true and I can't imagine not having my little boy, he was the child I was suppose to have.