I'm so sorry Morgan. All losses are difficult and you are right to take your time to grieve and prepare yourself emotionally and physically to try again if that is what you choose.
Doctors and even some midwives are very used to early miscarriages b/c they are so common. I think this often makes them a bit callous to women going through early m/c. I remember when I started spotting during my first pregnancy and the mw simply told me that about 1/2 of women who bleed will m/c and there really isn't anything you can do to prevent it. I kept thinking there had to be something you can do, but really there isn't so care providers often don't even worry about even seeing women until they are farther along. At the time, this seemed incredibly insensitive, especially in the early days of pregnancy b/c you have so many questions and fears.
Know that you are not alone. You are in the middle of it right now and that is the hardest place to be. Please do not hesitate to post in the Pregnancy Loss forum for more support. I wanted to also say that with my two early m/c's, I spent about three weeks feeling very sad and randomly crying. But I started to feel much better as soon as my body geared up to ovulate again. You might experience the same thing. So for now, be gentle with yourself and take your time.
The unbearable stomach pain is of concern, though. Did the doctors indicate that it was from a m/c or that it could have another source? Since pregnancy and/or ectopic pregnancy were never actually confirmed, it seems that unbearable stomach pain should be looked into further. Did they take your hCG levels again to confirm that they are the same/lower and not higher? I just ran across another thread talking about ectopic pregnancy and apparently it is possible for your levels to go up and down with an ectopic. What other tests did they run and what other diagnoses did they rule out?
And lastly, once you are starting to feel better, it sounds like your dh can offer some helpful perspective (though right now it may not sound so helpful). You mentioned you've been trying for 2 months? The average is time for perfectly healthy couples to conceive is much higher, so there is little reason to believe that you will not go on to have a perfectly healthy pregnancy if that is what you choose. And I have to say that I agree with your dh that perhaps trying without medical intervention next time makes sense. I would also recommend starting to chart. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
((HUGS)) Sending you peaceful and healing thoughts!