I really feel for you and I hope things get better for you financially soon. I do, however, see several places you can trim your budget down. The fact that you mentioned in a post that you were planning to apply for emergency food stamps tells me how desperate your situation is and that you understand the situation.
house $800 - I personally think this is very reasonable for a place for four people to live.
car $325 - again, this is very reasonable and is necessary since you do not live near public transportation
insurance and gas- $140 - this isn't a huge amount but if I were in your shoes I would make sure to only drive where I absolutely have to go and try to combine errands to lower gas costs
groceries etc - $500 - this might be a bit high but I don't think it's completely unreasonable; having pets, however, is a luxury and you really can't afford luxuries in your financial situation; I'm sure your pets are important to you and that you feel they are "earning their keep" so maybe try a food bank to see if they have pet food donations they can pass along to you but if not it might be time to find a new home for your pets
credit card bills: $600 - the medical bills are understandable but charging a new laptop was not smart, you are not in a financial place where you can afford to go out and replace a computer because it was broken, maybe try returning the new computer and seeing if you can get a cheap one from a friend or off craigslist; we just gave three old computers away to friends, they weren't new technology but they worked fine, there are lots of people happy to sell an old computer for $20 or whatever they can get for it; I know it's difficult to carry debt but if you're to the point of asking for food assistance then making minimum payments on your credit card might be best until you have child support coming in
$60 internet - internet is a luxury, you said you need it for your etsy shop then said that you knit for pennies, if you're not earning more than $60/month on etsy then, in my opinion, your internet should be cancelled; you can even cancel it anyway and use a computer once or twice a week at someone else's house or at the library
phones: $60 a month - this is a lot of money to spend on cell phones when you're running $1500 in the red every month, maybe look into pay as you go phones and only use them occasionally, I grew up without a cell phone (even though some kids in my high school had them) and I'm no worse for the wear, your family having a single working phone is a necessity but having three is a luxury
gas/electric/water/garbage - $175 tops - not really anything to do about these bills besides being frugal with energy usage
savings - $75 - you're running so far in the red that saving really isn't an option right now, just use your money when you need it
clothes etc- $80 a month - this number shocked me, I completely understand that you want your kids to have clothes they're not embarrassed of but that might not be possible right now, new shoes should not even be considered until you're in the green; if there are no hand me downs available check thrift stores or even programs that provide clothes to the needy; to put it in perspective, my sister shops at thrift stores and her family of four spends about $20/month total, including shoes for everyone and work clothes for her
incidentals $100 - there will always be incidentals but some of the things you listed are luxuries that someone who can't afford food can't afford; lighting candles at church is wonderful but God will understand if you need to pray for free for a few months, same with tithing; gifts should be very minimal, others will understand you can't do more than say happy birthday right now and gifts for your kids can be homemade for very little since you can knit; I honestly can't believe your kids are in sports of any kind, it's a great thing for them to do but since you have to pay for fees and/or equipment it could be cut until your finances improve; an allowance is a luxury for a child/teen, they can earn some money if they really want it but it's not in your budget right now; band, like sports, is a luxury, many families cannot afford it, try asking the school about donated instruments and free lessons; field trips are another one to talk to the school about, if it's required they have to let your kids go even if you can't pay and if it's not required then it's a luxury you can't afford; lunch money is yet another thing to talk to the school about, if you qualify for food stamps I can't imagine your kids don't qualify for a free lunch; treats are fun but more than a couple dollars a month is too much; I mentioned pet care a few paragraphs ago; oil changes are necessary if you own a car but shouldn't amount to more than $20-25 every few months but you could learn to do your own to save off that amount
I contribute to my 401K and Roth IRA at a full amount (about $150 a month) and i am so far behind (expecting my husband to be a real man and take care of his wife and family) I refuse to contribute less. I will only have enough for 10 years as it is. - my jaw dropped when I read this; I'd like to repeat that you are applying for emergency food assistance, this is not the time to be saving for retirement
My insurances (health, dental, disability, and life run about $15 a month. a steal...if it were not for that $2500 deductible). - this is very reasonable and it's important to keep these current