I'm sorry I feel like I am bombarding MDC with my daycare drama...
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I think I need to give a brief background, just so you know where I am coming from. DS1 (4) and DS2 (2) are at a home DCP, they have been with her since DS1 was about 18 months old - mostly part time and we LOVE our home DCP and I totally trust her. 2 years ago when DS1 was 2 I felt he needed some more structured education so I enrolled him in a center 3 days out of the week (he still attended the home daycare on the other days). Other than a few minor concerns that seemed to get resolved I was happy with the center. Last year I was invited to come on staff at the center and worked in DS1's class (2-3yos), I descovered a lot of issues that I was uncomfortable with. There was a teacher's aid who had struck a child and also yelled some very scary things to another child and she was kept on staff, the center was often under staffed and corners cut, the center was not clean, milk and juice were not served at snacks and lunch (not a big deal, EXCEPT that this was in the contract I had signed, and the entire year before I had been trusting that he was being served milk or juice with his lunch and not sending him a drink), children were strapped into a highchair when they misbehaved severely (why couldn't they just call the parents? I don't expect a child to run wild and I understand if there is not enough staff to be one on one, but, that is abuse to me), a child continuously bit other children and the most they ever did was send a note home to her mother (and I will add that when this center opened an infant room I started bringing DS2 and he bit twice and was told he could not return - which just goes to show that they are all about money - my son was attending for free so they had no issues getting rid of him...however the other child who was 2 years older and biting nearly every day was not dismissed, and of course she was paying the full tuition and had 2 sisters in the center as well), a child was touching and teaching other children to touch innaproprietly and nothing was done other than putting her in time out and eventually moving her to another classroom for part of the day, the infant teacher put kids in time out even under a year old, and she refused to take my full potty trained child to the bathroom or potty train any other child even if they were interested....there were many other issues as well, but, that gives an idea. At the point they dismissed my toddler from the program and moved me to a classroom seperate from either child I quit the job (with zero notice) and pulled DS1 out as well....I might have stayed jsut because I care so deeply for those children and I love DS1's head teacher (we are still great friends) but, I did not feel my children were safe emotionally or physically and I could not afford to work on that salary without free childcare.
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So anyway, I am really quite scarred from that after truly trusting them with my child and then seeing that they were so different from what I expected...I just felt sicker and sicker throughout the year (I wanted to quit in December but I tried to stick the school year out - in the end I couldn't and quit in April). So, I am just petrified to send my children anywhere else. I have been thinking to enroll DS1 in preschool 3 days a week, because that will be way less expensive than full day care and my husband is home in the morning so he can take him to and from pre school and then drop him off at his home daycare in the afternoon. I am visiting the preschool tomorrow. I talked to the teacher today...and I couldn't help but feel like she was hiding something...her answers were sort of "too good," you know?
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I guess my question is what I should be asking and looking for, and also, just how to get past my own mis-trust of anyone unfamiliar who will be caring for my child...and how do I distingish if I am truly seeing/hearing/sensing something wrong or if it just my personal issues?
