My X and I separated in July and we had a plan for sharing custody in place before he moved out. I wanted to children to feel that they can have access to both of us whenever they needed to see us in order to help them know that we are both still attached to them and are here for them. Also, I knew that X felt insecure in his position in their lives and I was trying to be generous with him and assure him that he could have them whenever they asked. They were happy to know that they could go to X's place whenever they wanted in the summer. Now they prefer to be with him and I don't get to see them much at all. By X's account, they don't seem to miss me. And the kids don't want to talk to me on the phone. They don't talk much anyway, but they really don't seem to miss me.
It's only been about 2 months, and I know they love his apt. The get to drink soda with him and I'm still the "strict" one making them eat healthy foods, go to bed early and take baths. I'm trying to do the right thing for them. They are 4 and 6 and they are very attached to both of us. I want this to be as easy a transition for them as possible because our marriage had become toxic in the last couple of years and I think we all need more love and peace in our lives. But now I am starting to feel like I need to enforce my nights with them. I'm feeling insecure for the first time since we separated. I miss them and I want them to want to see me. Part of me thinks they can leave me because they are so securely attached, but part of me wonders if I've lost them.