Pick-up time...

[paakbaak]

Hi!

My 5yo is pretty good picking up but ALWAYS asks for help within the first minute. I´m tired...ji! I want him to be responsible for HIS things without understanding that nobody has to help anybody. You know? He always helps, is always happy and willing, so I don´t want to kill this. How do you do this? Thanks!

[SweetSilver]

I usually help.  I really like having help around the house, so it makes sense to give help when they ask me.  Even as a kid, I really loved the camaraderie of everyone pitching in together.  It always felt so lonely doing it by myself.  Probably not the answer you were looking for!

[One_Girl]

When my dd was about this age I started easing out of helping in the room by telling her I would be in to help in a few minutes and to get started on her own.  I sometimes also gave her a specific task to complete before I came in to help.  Once she was doing some on her own I started asking her to do the clean up while I completed a task, usually this was using the bathroom or picking some books to read for the evening from the library bag.  She slowly moved to being able to do the task on her own.

[amberskyfire]

I've been using two methods that really work.

1. I ask DD to help me with my chores which she is always more than happy to do because it makes her feel "big." She  can bring all the dirty laundry to the basket or pick up things or fold rags and towels. When she helps me out, I'm inclined to help her pick up as well.

2. We have a rule at our place that I try my best to enforce, though I'm not perfect, and that is that you have to pick up one thing before you get another out. If she wants me to get the paints out for her, she has to put away the puzzle first. She usually wants to do the second thing enough that she will put the first away.

And when all else fails, I sometimes employ a hated activity like bedtime or bath time. If she won't pick up I'll get her to stall by saying "oh, okay then, well it's bed/bath time anyway so go ahead and get in bed/bath." Then she will rush to the toys and say "I can't right now, Mama! I have to pick up my toys!"

[paakbaak]

SWEETSILVER

Not what I was looking for but what totally resonates with me. Although I would love to help him do more on his own...for his sake! Thanks!

ONE_GIRL

I do that too, tell him to start and then I go in later. But today he just sta ther playing or walking around the room, for over 25min. So I put on a timer. If he finished before the timer rung, we´d tell a story. And he finished in les than 5min. 

It´s more of a "action-reaction" kind of situation. What you take out, you have to put back in. But We both help eachother alot.

[~cassie]

I will help sometimes but most of the time I need to get onto doing something else

One thing that really helps is e telling them what to get. I make it a game and usually do 1. Get something red, round,etc and that makes it fun. Or we get out the laundry basket and play basketball with clean up. Or what really motivates my 6 yr old is the promise of a quarter

[tbone_kneegrabber]

I help. Because the last thing I want to hear when cleaning up something is 'I didnt make that mess' I try for a broader sense of community when it comes to cleaning.

I do the same thing at ds' preschool when I am there, if it clean up time everyone cleans up you don't get out of it by saying 'but I didn't use *that* puzzle'

[mistymama]

Well I usually help and my kid is almost 9. I look at it like I ask for his help often around the house, so if he asks for mine, no big deal.

That said, sometimes when I just can't help him for some reason, I find it is best to give him one small job at a time and have him check in with me when it's done.  I'll say, "Ok, put all of your legos in the bin" ... "Now, put dirty clothing in the laundry"  etc etc. Helps him stay focused and get it done faster, plus he feels I'm somewhat involved.

As far as him taking care of his own things without my help - yeah, we are not there yet. lol

[SweetSilver]

I will say that my clean up standards are pretty low!  Mainly it's my youngest who can play with anything and everything.  If I can be on it, what helps is having lots and lots of thrift store baskets.  They don't have to put stuff away, but it needs to be in a basket.  I can handle that amount of mess.  But my girls tend to get out *all* the puzzles to create a "zoo".  Or make a giant "train" of buses and little boxes and sort hundreds of little toys, all connected by "collars" (cut from fleece and felted sweaters) and "leashes".  This can eventually encompass the entire floor!  I just don't have the energy to keep up with them.  

     On the plus side, they are very resourceful and rarely bored.  Yup.  That's my excuse!  It can get so overwhelming, especially during the growing season, that I take a broom and sweep the pathways from doors to kitchen and around the house.  Then, for some reason, we can catch up and get things organized and keep it that way for a while.  Until *that* week comes when tidying takes a backburner to baths and laundry and weeding and trips to visit Grandma and break-down days spent reading on the couch soothing teary-eyed kids.

I'd love to post pictures of our house so you can feel better, so everyone can feel better about their clean-up troubles!

[paakbaak]

Oh thank you so much for your replies! So much help. My son loves to help out, rarely sais he doesn´t feel like it or that he´s busy...so yeah, why not help out too?

I guess it´s when I have hard days, I just wish for picking-up miracles! But when I think about it, every day IS a miracle, so it´s fine. Thank you so much!