New and need advice and insight

[my5loves]

Hello, Everyone! This is my first post here. I love this place! I am hoping some patient people will read this whole post and give me some feedback. I am 35 years old. My whole life I dreamed of being a stay at home mom. 5 years ago my husband got hurt on the job. He is now a stay at home dad getting a very tiny amount of money from Workmans Comp and I am forced to work full time. I hate it. I am so jealous that he gets to stay home and I have to miss everything. He is not very involved when it comes to the kids homework and he has no tolerance or understanding with our two teens so I still end up doing most of the child care. He does all the cooking, laundry and dishes. He has some mild lung issues. That is his whole disability. His doctor swears he can never work again and he is only 37. He can light off fireworks and sit around a campfire but yet the doc swears his lungs are so bad he can't work. I beg DH to get a job but he wont because he is getting a payheck so he thinks he is doing his part. I decided 2 years ago to go to nursing school. I am working full time and going to school. I have 2 years left of school and that is just my Associates degree.  In May I got the biggest shock of my life...both forms of BC failed and I am  pregnant due Dec. 31. We can't afford the 4 kids we have now! I have applied for every type of assistance and they say we make just enough so we don't qualify for anything. Here is where I need help: I am so incredibly jealous of everyone around me. My sisters, women at my kids' schools, etc all have DH that make great money. They are all stay at home moms who always have money for vacations, nice clothes, new cars, etc. We just barely can make our house payment, groceries and utilies stress me out so bad I can't even sleep and we really need a better car. I am so upset and stressed about our finances and now I am adding another mouth to feed. How do I get over being so bitter and jealous? I resent the he** out of my husband because he is where I always wanted to be.....home with our kiddos and he doesn't even appreciate it. Then I see these moms who can give all their time to volunteering at school and talking about their week long stay in Disney and building a new home and I am just miserable. I don't want to be a bitter or jealous person. THANKS!

[Viola]

Wow, that's a lot to deal with.  It doesn't sound like your husband is really pulling his weight.  I've known some Dad's who are SAHD, but they do a lot of the parenting.  That's got to be really stressful.

Maybe you could post this in the Parents as Partners forum for more responses.  Welcome to the Mothering message board.