I met a nice bunch of people here lately (in person) through LLL and some babywearing group stuff, but they're always posting on FB about their, well, normal lives. And when we get together, and they see a ring on my finger, there's always the questions. What does your husband do? Nothing. What do you do? Be an unpaid caregiver for him. What brings you guys to move here? Well, cos we don't have anywhere else to live except at my mother's house. What do you guys do for fun? Chill in the ER. Want to come to the farmer's market this weekend? No, can't, husband refuses to leave the house. Want to join the babysitting swap? No, I don't want other kids around him because if he freaked out they might get scared, and I can't schedule things ahead of time because what if he has an issue and I have to cancel? Do you guys allow TV? Well, when I had my own house, no, but here TV is front and center of the house and I can't tell my mom she's not allowed to watch it in her own house. Of course, I don't actually SAY those things, but what else can I do but kind of dance around the issues? And if I can't follow up with plans to meet for a playdate in the park, because I have to hold my husband's hand through another panic attack, then I seem like the flake. They tell me about a romantic night they had with their partner, and I just get, sad. Or a single mom tells me about her adventures in dating, and I still can't relate.
I guess this is just a vent. I just want to have normal friends with people I have things in common with. Instead, my life revolves around mental illness. I'm not even 30 and all my dreams are like, gone... Anyway, that's all. Guess there isn't much else to say at the moment. I'm just down.