Oh we deal with the VA and let me tell you they CAN, they have been told to pick it up already. They've left paperwork in their desks for months at a time that they could have turned in. If it were me... I'd march my happy butt right in there and demand that they do their job or call every day. They do get sick of it because they have to address your concerns. I threatened to let DH loose once in the Mental health office if they didnt' stop BSing and give him his meds. He got his meds.
I know, one more thing to worry about, but just so you know there are certain states that bend over backwards for Vets. I'm a veteran myself and I know there are groups out there that can help you guys.
There are lots of us out there and the best thing to do is reach out because 9 times out of 10 someone will reach back. I've learned so much about the systems since I've been out just by asking others.