OK, it's taken me weeks thinking about this to get up the nerve to post...
I'm wondering if I'm feeling jealous of my dsd (who's 10). Dh and I have been married for almost 3 years now, together for 8. Recently (in the last few months) I've been getting pangs of what I can only call jealousy of his attention to her.
Is this normal for all mothers or is it just something evil stepmothers suffer? Yes, she reminds me of her mother, but I'm not feeling envious of his never-existing affection for her mother. It could be that I'm envious that although dh and I don't have the time or means for much closeness anymore, there are many opportunities for closeness between dh and dsd when she's here (which of course is a good thing, I know!). We have a 21 mo old who is very attached to me, still breastfeeding, etc. So while I am attending to her, dh and dsd can work on homework together, play a computer game or a game of chess, or other activities that dd can't participate in.
Of course, the lack of time and energy from having a new addition to the family has been going on for more than a few months now. What seems to have changed is that dsd is now seeking out dh's attention more and more, and in what are appearing to me as "provocative" ways (i.e. climbing onto his lap which she hasn't done in years, insisting that he stay with her til she falls asleep, etc.). Also very irritating to me is my perception that she is seeking to draw him, not only for time with her, but specifically away from me and dd - "please come sit in my room while I clean it to keep me company" (instead of hanging out downstairs with me and dd).
Any thoughts? Should I run, not walk, to the nearest therapist's office?
I'm wondering if I'm feeling jealous of my dsd (who's 10). Dh and I have been married for almost 3 years now, together for 8. Recently (in the last few months) I've been getting pangs of what I can only call jealousy of his attention to her.
Is this normal for all mothers or is it just something evil stepmothers suffer? Yes, she reminds me of her mother, but I'm not feeling envious of his never-existing affection for her mother. It could be that I'm envious that although dh and I don't have the time or means for much closeness anymore, there are many opportunities for closeness between dh and dsd when she's here (which of course is a good thing, I know!). We have a 21 mo old who is very attached to me, still breastfeeding, etc. So while I am attending to her, dh and dsd can work on homework together, play a computer game or a game of chess, or other activities that dd can't participate in.
Of course, the lack of time and energy from having a new addition to the family has been going on for more than a few months now. What seems to have changed is that dsd is now seeking out dh's attention more and more, and in what are appearing to me as "provocative" ways (i.e. climbing onto his lap which she hasn't done in years, insisting that he stay with her til she falls asleep, etc.). Also very irritating to me is my perception that she is seeking to draw him, not only for time with her, but specifically away from me and dd - "please come sit in my room while I clean it to keep me company" (instead of hanging out downstairs with me and dd).
Any thoughts? Should I run, not walk, to the nearest therapist's office?
