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Need some support =(

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 

Hi everyone..I'm extremely distressed right now. I'm approximately 41-42 weeks and still no signs of labour. My midwife wants to do a transfer of care to the hospital. I can bawl my eyes out right now. I don't know what to do. I still feel as if the dates are off. She wants to do an ultrasound every week..I understand it's their job to..but I don't want to..I'd rather wait it out..Esspecially since my baby looks fine and is active (just had a BPP). My periods were always irregular and they are going by the dates from my early ultrasound..Which said I was due on the 21st..but they are insisting I'm over due..even though they told me dates can be off from 1-2 weeks..so technically I can still be 39-40 weeks?

 

I'm currently planning a homebirth..and is my second pregnancy. I had my first in the hospital..

 

I feel so depressed/stressed..I dont know how else to help my body induce labor. I told her I believe my body will birth when its ready..but they come up with all these examples of how something can go wrong..etc etc.

 

I really need some help and support..I do not want to be induced or labour in a hospital esspecially since ultrasounds can be way off. She told me my baby looks about 9 lbs from the U/S report..but I refuse to believe that..Ive known people who said the same thing and birthed a 7 lb baby...

 

Why on earth are we in "danger" if our baby is over 7-8 lb mark? My family friends have given birth to several children that weighed 10-11 pounds...

 

Please help :( I dont know what to do and can't relax. I feel this may slow my labour down too

post #2 of 19

I had a friend who got her labor started with acupuncture...worth a try?

 

Also, are you doing evening primrose oil, both orally and vaginally?

 

Good luck, mama. I feel for you. 

post #3 of 19

Acupuncture- worked for me this last time (gave birth 5 weeks ago).

post #4 of 19
Thread Starter 

thanks girls..I didnt try EPO because I thought it will just work by itself as it did last time..as for acupuncture will have to see if I can give it a try..how many treatments are needed? I tried nipple stimulation but felt absolutely nothing at all...sex is out of the question as I hadnt had a proper orgasm in months..not to mention my partner is not up for it because im not really in the mood these past few weeks.....Cuss.gif

 

its so stressful when you have to meet a deadline though..my midwife wants to do a transfer of care by the middle of this week :(..

and im scared stress is stalling my labour..ive been waking up every hour to see if i have a contraction or pain before the weekend is over..

 

i did have a membrane sweep last week but did absolutely nothing..she wants to do another but im scared?


Edited by to-mama - 8/28/11 at 11:58am
post #5 of 19

I second the acupuncture. One session was all it took for both of my girls. Any chance you could relax more by yourself...since dh isn't up for it? 

 

post #6 of 19
Thread Starter 

lol I have been doing that but no luck still..I will have to take a look at acupuncture for labor but I could not find anyone in my area..

 

It's getting so frustrating..last night I had intense stomach tightening like someone is squeezing a band around my belly every 10 minutes for 2-3 hours but no pain..I went to sleep and they went away :(

 

Technically if I go over 42 - 43 weeks and they want to induce me..do I have a right to decline and wait till I go in labor on my own? Im not sure what to do!! :(

post #7 of 19


absolutely! you do not have to consent to any medical treatment you dont want. As long as you are both good, there is no reason to induce. :)
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by to-mama View Post

lol I have been doing that but no luck still..I will have to take a look at acupuncture for labor but I could not find anyone in my area..

 

It's getting so frustrating..last night I had intense stomach tightening like someone is squeezing a band around my belly every 10 minutes for 2-3 hours but no pain..I went to sleep and they went away :(

 

Technically if I go over 42 - 43 weeks and they want to induce me..do I have a right to decline and wait till I go in labor on my own? Im not sure what to do!! :(



 

post #8 of 19

I vote acupuncture as well. My midwife uses it for all her "overdue" mamas and says it's usually really successful. Sorry you're experiencing so much pressure. My cycles are really irregular too and it seems silly to me that there's such a strict deadline...my belief is that our bodies and our babies know what they're doing and unless either shows signs of distress, there's no reason to mess around! I understand this isn't the conventional model of care though--you seem to be feeling quite a bit of pressure from your midwife.

I would do your best to relax, as hard as that may be, and to stay positive about the outcome of your birth. Let your body and your baby know that you trust their wisdom, even if others don't right now. Any day now you'll have your new baby in your arms---congratulations ahead of time!

post #9 of 19
Thread Starter 

thanks girls...at this point ive lost all hope..my MW says I need to think about induction as there are increased risks to the baby having shoulder dystocia and compliations during birth. they are saying acording to my early ultrasound Im 42 weeks..

 

i dont know what to do! im so scared something may happen to my baby..she wants to break my water and induce me but i dont want to..i feel totally wrong and i think i should wait..what should i do?!

 

@starlamia - im also from ontario

post #10 of 19

*hugs* Do you feel your baby is ok? Do you feel like you need to get the baby out now or do you want to wait? It's your choice. Early ultrasounds have been known to be wrong about dates. in fact, they can easily be off by at least a few days. I know a couple women who know absolutely when they conceived because their husband's weren't around at the time the ultrasound put their dating & the ultrasounds were well over a week off.

 

Also, is this your first baby? The AVERAGE first pregnancy lasts over 41 weeks. That means you're only a couple days "overdue". And the 42 weeks means 42 completed weeks, not the beginning of 42 weeks. Even if it's your second baby, the average gestation is 40 weeks & 3 days.

 

How long have your female relatives gestated for? Women whose mother's or grandmother's have long pregnancies are far more likely to have a long pregnancy as well. Google about 10 month mamas. There used to be a great website who hosted stories from women who consistently had pregnancies that were 44-46 weeks. Sadly it's gone now, but there is info from some of it's pages around.

post #11 of 19
What a situation. Well, I think you are within your rights to refuse induction - the problem with that is that she might just decline you care. Don't really blame her - she is probably just following guidelines and if it were up to her she might not pressure you to transfer - but she probably feels like it's out of her control.

You say this is your second pregnancy - sorry if I'm being repetitive but what was your first birth like? Induced, not? How far along? I'm just asking because some women make babies slower than average. Others (like me) make them faster than average. Mine were born at 36 and 37 weeks and had no problems. I knew a lady who had a baby at 44 weeks without complications.

What I've read is that if you're overdue you can go for more frequent testing - non-stress tests, etc. Maybe there's a compromise you can reach.

Until then, I would a) meditate and b) visualize and c) figure out a good way to orgasm. Hubby not needed. Is there anything that can be done? Maybe a few orgasms would help? Heck, they might just relax you if you say you haven't had one in months. wink1.gif I'm not trying to be crude, just realistic. I'm sorry you're facing stress over this.

If you DO end up transferring sooner rather than later perhaps you'll have more options in induction. That's something to keep in mind. IF you decided on NST's and one showed distress you might end up with a more aggressive induction than if you went in "on your own terms".

hug2.gif I struggled with keeping my babies in long enough, I imagine it is just as stressful on the other end of the spectrum! Hang in there!
post #12 of 19
Thread Starter 

Hey hun! thank you for your support hug.gif

 

I absolutely feel Im okay. My baby has been active, BPP's turned out excellent perfect score, placenta and fluid perfect as well as the stress test. I told her I *feel* I should wait but then they come up with all the scare tactics...I know the risks involved and honeslty there is not much difference if I were to birth at 40 weeks or 42 weeks.

 

Heck, that would mean no one should even get pregnant in the first place since you have a *risk* of producing a child with birth defects..right?!

 

Everything they've told me is based on minor stats, nothing wrong with my baby (thank God)..but when I say I would like to wait and not be induced..they come up with ifs/ands or buts
..This is my second pregnancy my first being approx 10 days overdue no one said anything about that..I do believe we have long gestation ages since my mom was also " overdue"

 

I just dont know how to deal with it..I have to go into the hospital to consult and either comply or refuse the induction..when I say I want to wait their eyes pop open...
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Devaskyla View Post

*hugs* Do you feel your baby is ok? Do you feel like you need to get the baby out now or do you want to wait? It's your choice. Early ultrasounds have been known to be wrong about dates. in fact, they can easily be off by at least a few days. I know a couple women who know absolutely when they conceived because their husband's weren't around at the time the ultrasound put their dating & the ultrasounds were well over a week off.

 

Also, is this your first baby? The AVERAGE first pregnancy lasts over 41 weeks. That means you're only a couple days "overdue". And the 42 weeks means 42 completed weeks, not the beginning of 42 weeks. Even if it's your second baby, the average gestation is 40 weeks & 3 days.

 

How long have your female relatives gestated for? Women whose mother's or grandmother's have long pregnancies are far more likely to have a long pregnancy as well. Google about 10 month mamas. There used to be a great website who hosted stories from women who consistently had pregnancies that were 44-46 weeks. Sadly it's gone now, but there is info from some of it's pages around.



 

post #13 of 19
Thread Starter 

Hi seawitch - my first was 10 days overdue, vaginal delivery no intervention accept they broke my water when i was at 7 cm active labor..My family is sort of known to go past 40 weeks..and heavier babies..my first was 7.7 lbs

 

I have been complying with the BPPs and non-stress tests...they all came out excellent, even placenta and fluid was good

 

as for orgasms Ive been handling myself (lol)..but the contractions dont feel like how it feels with sex..with sex i would get strong contractions but as I said def. not in the mood and extremely stressed..hubby knows i just want sex to induce labor and he's honestly not up for it (feels weird at this point)

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by seawitch View Post

What a situation. Well, I think you are within your rights to refuse induction - the problem with that is that she might just decline you care. Don't really blame her - she is probably just following guidelines and if it were up to her she might not pressure you to transfer - but she probably feels like it's out of her control.

You say this is your second pregnancy - sorry if I'm being repetitive but what was your first birth like? Induced, not? How far along? I'm just asking because some women make babies slower than average. Others (like me) make them faster than average. Mine were born at 36 and 37 weeks and had no problems. I knew a lady who had a baby at 44 weeks without complications.

What I've read is that if you're overdue you can go for more frequent testing - non-stress tests, etc. Maybe there's a compromise you can reach.

Until then, I would a) meditate and b) visualize and c) figure out a good way to orgasm. Hubby not needed. Is there anything that can be done? Maybe a few orgasms would help? Heck, they might just relax you if you say you haven't had one in months. wink1.gif I'm not trying to be crude, just realistic. I'm sorry you're facing stress over this.

If you DO end up transferring sooner rather than later perhaps you'll have more options in induction. That's something to keep in mind. IF you decided on NST's and one showed distress you might end up with a more aggressive induction than if you went in "on your own terms".

hug2.gif I struggled with keeping my babies in long enough, I imagine it is just as stressful on the other end of the spectrum! Hang in there!


 

post #14 of 19

How would they feel about increasing your nonstress tests and AFI's? If you're going to refuse an induction, a wise thing to do would at least be to make sure baby is coping well with the aging placenta. This could be a compromise. :)

post #15 of 19
Thread Starter 

@holly6737 - yes, they have done BPP (2 of them) and non-stress tests. Everything came out EXCELLENT. 10/10 - And they still want to induce me - WTH. :@ I am so angry, furious and frustrated as well as extremely stressed. I cannot risk having an induction if my baby seems fine. God forbid, if I have a an induction which has high chances of things going wrong as my body does not tolerate medical intervention very well (neither does my mothers body)...then i have an increased risk of a csection and then I have NO body to help take care of my other little one at home and husband cannot take off work as its a private business and we'll have no income coming in which means can't make rent..

 

I would never want to risk my unborn childs life..these doctors dont understand I want what is best for my baby, my family AND myself..I just started leaking some colustrum today..and have been contracting for 3 days on/off for 10 mins and at 5 hrs a day..I think my body is doing SOMETHING at least..but I think the stress is delaying my labor..Ive been clenching my teeth so much I can just feel the stress causing migraines..

 

PS - to the other two ladies that replied - thanks so much - I posted replies but it said it needs to get approved by a mod :(

post #16 of 19

Hi there, my first was a hospital birth and my second was a homebirth. I was induced at 40+7 and I don't think my body was ready, I had three gels, broken waters and the drip. Not a pleasant experience which then resulted in me opting for homebirth on the second. because I was induced on no 1 I didn't know how long I would go over on my second. Turns out it was 12 days and at that I had to kick start things with three sweeps and 25ml of castor oil as recommended by my mw. After the last sweep I had surges for 24 hours which disappeared the following morning, then my mw recommended the castor oil and he was out 8 hours later. I went through all the stress you are going through now. My mw had to hand me over at 14 days overdue if there was no sign of baby due to insurance cover. I had to go for ultrasound etc at 41 wks and the hospital were recommending I be induced straight away due to low fluid levels. I had been warned that this test is v subjective and not at all conclusive so I requested a retest the following day. At this point the hospital gave me a v condescending "talk" talking about all the risks I was putting my baby in. I held firm and told them I would be back the next day. I had some pains the next day so dh rang hospital to say I had started labour and would not require the ultrasound. I didn't actually have the baby untli three days later, but the stress I felt in all that time was enormous. Be strong you are only 7 days over you have plenty time left. I definitely recommend accupuncture, you don't need a specialist just find a regular accupuncturist who practices in your area. I know there is a divide in opinion as to whether to use castor oil or not, however I took a low dose and if I have to again on my next pregnancy to avoid a transfer at 14 days then I would. My baby was born with an apgar of 9/10, his skin was quite wrinkly though so it was def time for him to come out!! Placenta was extremely healthy looking and I encapsulated it afterwards. 

post #17 of 19

A birth center I am familiar with (which is staffed by CNMs) does daily NSTs if mom is beyond 42 weeks. I wonder if they would accept this alternative? I completely understand not wanting to be induced! It is not a pleasant experience. Have they told you what your Bishop's score is? As you are a multipara, you would be easier to send into labor with an induction, but I know that is of little comfort to you. :(

post #18 of 19


yep, go ontario! you havent been around in a couple of days so here is hoping you are in/were in labour! dust.gif
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by to-mama View Post

thanks girls...at this point ive lost all hope..my MW says I need to think about induction as there are increased risks to the baby having shoulder dystocia and compliations during birth. they are saying acording to my early ultrasound Im 42 weeks..

 

i dont know what to do! im so scared something may happen to my baby..she wants to break my water and induce me but i dont want to..i feel totally wrong and i think i should wait..what should i do?!

 

@starlamia - im also from ontario



 

post #19 of 19

I hope you're done and holding your babe! But if not, one of the major benefits of sex is the semen on your cervix, not just orgasm.

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