Atheist Parents - Questions about the afterlife? - Page 2

[2xy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by annakiss 

Are there any atheists here? Did everyone leave MDC?

I'm here. :)

My personal belief is that the energy which makes up our consciousness simply gets recycled in the universe after we die. Energy never disappears, it just changes form. So the energy in me today might fuel the growth of a blade of grass later, power a windmill, etc. DS1 would have been intrigued by that sort of discussion. Even at six, he cared for answers more than comfort.

DS2 would have wanted more reassurance along the lines of what you told your child. When I think of stuff like this, I end up thinking about that line near the end of the movie Titanic, when the old lady is talking about Jack and says something like, "He only exists in my memory." I have been known to put a spin on that mentality when talking to my kids about death.

I think you did fine.

[CatsCradle]

Originally Posted by annakiss 

Are there any atheists here? Did everyone leave MDC?

Sorry, I shouldn't have responded to your post.  My bad.

[2xy]

Originally Posted by Toposlonoshlep 

Although I respect atheist families, as well as families with all other belief systems, I DO believe that children need the comfort of faith. That is why non-religious people sometimes celebrate Christmas and talk about Santa Claus, for example. It is important to a child's emotional development to have a rich world outside of what they can see in front of them.

That's why they have imaginary friends and talk to their stuffed animals. It was always enough for me as a child. My parents were spiritual but didn't believe in actual gods (they were Buddhist).

Annakiss, I wanted to mention that there is a website called AtheistParents.org that has a pretty busy forum. They talk about all sorts of things, not just atheism. I was pretty active there for 5 or 6 years, but the climate changed and I didn't care much for it anymore, so I stopped going there. That doesn't mean it won't be to YOUR liking, though. Most of the folks are pretty mainstream but not too many are totally closed-minded.
 

[Toposlonoshlep]

With all due respect, faith is different than imagination. I didn't grow up in a religious family, and I found my spiritual path myself. It took many many many years and I would say the quest is ongoing. I just don't think children should be forced to believe whatever their parents believe, whether their parents are atheist, Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Mormon, Taoist, etc...Children should be given not ONE solution to a problem of faith, but ways to explore and arrive at their own solution. Also, for the record, FAITH to me doesn't imply a god or gods. A lot of the solutions offered by atheist parents on this thread, including those that that about how one life feeds another and how life regenerates is faith as well.
 

Originally Posted by 2xy 

That's why they have imaginary friends and talk to their stuffed animals. It was always enough for me as a child. My parents were spiritual but didn't believe in actual gods (they were Buddhist).

[2xy]

Originally Posted by Toposlonoshlep 

With all due respect, faith is different than imagination.

That is your opinion. Mine differs. I suppose it's okay for me to say that here seeing as the thread was aimed at atheists.

You said that children need comfort. There are many ways to get comfort, and 10-15% of the U.S. population as well as a good portion of the world do not rely on faith for comfort. I find far more comfort in logic, science, reason, and reality than I do in "woo."

I don't know what it is about this conversation that makes you think anyone is telling their children "You must believe ___________." IME, freethinkers do an excellent job of educating their children about world religions and what other people believe.

[MoonStarFalling]

Posted upthread. I'm atheist. I didn't think my response was spiritual at all like you said. I tell my kids when you die you're gone. I don't see anything spiritual about that. But I'm blunt with my kids. I'm not going to sugar coat it and make it all weird. I think that would worry them. I totally agree about not giving a spiritual explanation when it isn't at all what you feel or believe. Thanks 2xy I will check out atheistparents.

[MJB]

We are pretty straightforward about it with my boys. When you die, you're gone and the people who loved you miss you. Bodies decompose and their matter is recycled into flowers and trees. If people didn't die, there would be no room for new babies. Unfortunately a lot of people we know have died during my kids' lives: a good friend (and their friend's dad), my husband's aunt, their great-grandfather, a 21 yr. old cousin, my dad. They are both atheists and haven't had any problems accepting it so far.

[seraf]

Your answer seems pretty reasonable to me.

I am pretty basic. My kids (8 and 6) know that I have no plans to die in the near future but if anything were to happen to me I would like my organs to be donated if possible and I would like to be cremated.

They know about the ideas of heaven and hell and reincarnation and they know I don't believe it. I have told them that I believe there is no way to know, but many people believe their way is the only way. I have told them that when I die I will be gone but they will always be loved and cared for.

I expect them to question everything, even me.

[2xy]

Originally Posted by MoonStarFalling 

Thanks 2xy I will check out atheistparents.

Well, it appears I may have spoken too soon. I went to the site to see how the forums are doing, and they just decided over the past week to shut it down due to lack of activity. Oh, well....they had a good run (over ten years). They mentioned something about starting a Facebook page, so maybe you could search them on there. I think that's happening with lots of smaller forums....people are defecting to Facebook.

[Imakcerka]

How did this thread turn from athiests to spirituality?  However...

I let my kids believe what they want.  I think it's fair to tell them what I believe and it's fine if they ask about what others believe and I'll tell them.  With no hint of sarcasm or show of my disbelief.  I let them know that it is fine to think differently than what DH and I think. 

From all our talks DD1 has come to believe she will be going back to Mother earth and her body will nourish the ground around her.  DD2 likes the idea that she will come back as something, specifically something that sparkles... geez.  Though I find DD2 a little funny, I will not tell her it's not true even If I don't believe it.  It's not fair IMO to tell her she can't have her own beliefs. 

I'm sure they will change their beliefs as they grow and I will continue to keep an open mind.  Now if one of them wants to go to church... DH already called not it, so it's all me and I'll sit their quietly and let them do their thing.  As hard as it will be for me. 

[Mummoth]

I've always tried to be open about my kids having their own beliefs, but can't help but feel pride when they sneak me WTF looks when someone starts talking about God and Jesus, or the woman at the new age store starts talking about the special powers their rocks have (DS has a rock collection) It's a lot easier just teaching them how to know when to be polite and when to back away slowly.

[SweetSilver]

This is a difficult subject to broach with kids, whether you are atheist, agnostic, or identify with a religion or philosophy.  I am not atheist, but I have uncertainty about whether my explanations or lack of were helpful to my kids, too decisive considering I really don't know, or not confident enough to be reassuring.  Gee, what else can I think of that I might screw up?  Your answers sounded wonderful, and you'll have plenty more opportunities to speak more specifically about it.

[FarmerBeth]

I'm not atheist, but I am very scientifically minded, questioning, skeptical, etc. (Basically I believe in the positive social impact of belonging to community through religion, and in exploring ethics with the support of a group, but my views of the mechanics of the world and how it was created is more in line with atheism.  I'm OK with being a bit of a hypocrite, and I admit it to my kids).

Anyhow, my son has an answer about afterlife that I think is very in line with what atheists believe.  He says that we live on by doing two things: Passing on our genes, and creating things (inventions, art, ideas, friendships) that we leave behind.  It's very literally true from a scientific perspective, and it also says what does happen rather than getting into complicated discussions about what doesn't happen.

[hildare]

yeah.  i don't know what i am, it depends upon the mood i'm in when i'm asked.  sorry if i responded as a non-atheiest, but i'm not really a non-non-athiest either...